


Stockholm

by ecclesia



Category: Misc - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:56:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 77,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28751037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecclesia/pseuds/ecclesia





	1. Prologue

STOCKHOLM

Fiona Kay


	2. Chapter 1

Taylor sighed, facing that brown oak door. She took her red bonnet off and shook off the snow from her shoulders. She knocked on the door then it opened up, revealing a beautiful girl not a couple of years older than she is, she had the same eyes as Harry, only she had her hair dyed blonde.

"Oh hey, you must be Taylor. I've heard loads about you from Harry." She greeted with the same English accent and hugged Taylor.

“Gosh, where are my manners? It’s too cold out there, inside you go.”

Taylor couldn't be wrong, this has to be Harry's sister, Gemma Styles. As Taylor remembered, she had a daughter named Lux which, also, she had never met before. This is the first time Taylor will come to Harry's house. Gemma Styles made way for Taylor to come inside. As told by Gemma, she hung her yellow coat on the coat rack with her bonnet.

"Wow, you're even prettier in personal." Gemma said, smirking with dimples on her face.

"Umm, thanks." Taylor shrugged. Being called 'pretty' by a beautiful woman isn't the most comfortable thing she had ever experienced.

"You too." She said.

Gemma's eyebrows are both raised as her cheeks bulged by her childly lip-biting. "Thanks. And don't be shy, I don't eat pretty girls." _Is she referring to me?_

"S-So where's Lux?" Taylor asked, trying to make the situation comfortable.

"Oh, where else? Upstairs with his uncle." Gemma answered, "I suggest you not to go up there now, who knows? My little brother is probably wearing a pink ballet dress with his hair in pigtails."

Taylor laughed. Gemma is exactly like Harry, it's unbelievable.

"You've seen him do that?" She asked, curious if Harry did.

"Eh, just the pigtails thing. But hint, my daughter's fairy wings is broken, the garter is loose." Gemma winked, directing Taylor to walk with her and Taylor just followed her around the house.

"You know my brother won't shut-up about you. It's always Taylor this and Taylor that." Gemma states as they walk to the kitchen where the aroma of cookies and other pastries filled the room.

Taylor was too busy darting her eyes at every corner, every kitchen equipment is either colored black or silver, the small window near the counter had a red curtain covering it, the tools and equipment all seemed new or well-taken care of. The walls are painted white and the floor was as clean as crystal. Soft music plays in every room, it can never be quiet. She was amazed by the neatness of the Styles' household she could barely believe such house exists. Gemma sat on a high chair near the counter.

"Taylor, no need to be shy. Biscuit?" She said, pointing to the plate of cookies. Gemma grabbed one and took a bite.

Taylor shrugged in shyness again. "No, thanks."

"I insist. Come on, it's a sin to say 'no' to blessings." Gemma said, sliding the plate near Taylor.

Taylor smiled. Gemma isn't really different from Harry, she can even use the right play of words that'll always lead you to saying 'yes'. She sat near Gemma, her pale hands on the counter. She grabbed one cookie and ate slowly.

"So, tell me, how are you and my brother?" Gemma asked.

"We're fine. We have arguments every once in a while but that's normal." Taylor answered.

Gemma finished the rest of the cookie she was eating. "Pretty normal, don't worry. Although don't get too tight on Harry, he hates it when he's held on the neck."

 _Okay? I think I got it._ "Yeah, I kind of noticed he didn't like being bossed around." Taylor replied.

Then Gemma stood up. "Since he's still playing with Lux and doesn't know you're here, let's have a sister-in-law time." Gemma said, making Taylor gulp hard.

"S-Sorry?" She asked, making sure she didn't hear it wrong. _Sister-in-law?_

"Look, out of all girlfriends, you are the one he took home. What else should I speculate? Besides, I can still call you my sister because well, Louis is like your brother and Harry considers him as a brother... so sister!"

Taylor got confused but she understood after a while. "Okay, what do we do then?" She asked.

"Well, Harry said you're excellent in baking. How 'bout a cake?" Gemma asked.

Taylor smiled, "Sure." and stood up.

She was confused, weirded-out, a bit pressured and felt uncomfortable but she loved how Gemma was so warm on her welcomes. She loved how the Styles accepted her. She loved how the next hour went by with Gemma and her preparing a birthday cake for Harry.

They were both having fun with the music on, decorating the cake when the radio stopped.

"What the?!" Gemma complained, both of them looked at the doorway with Harry leaning on the frame, there was a simper on his face with his arms crossed.

He was wearing a blue polo and pants. His green eyes filled with both the annoyed and pleased manner, his hair still a mess of chocolate brown curls. His demeanor and aura showed off his coolness, but zapped-ruined by the two purple ribbons in his hair in a failed pigtail.

Both Gemma and Taylor giggled. Gemma elbowed and winked at her, saying "Told you."

Harry groaned and removed the ribbons in his hair. His face turned back to serious. "Brilliant move there, Gemma. But do you really think a few hours would go by without me realizing that my girlfriend is here?" He raised his eyebrow with a simper.

"I just borrowed my sister for some girl time. It's a trade for Lux." Gemma cooed. "Oh, and you can have her back." She gestured for Taylor to go to Harry which Taylor did.

The moment Taylor was a feet away from Harry, he quickly pulled her arm and spun as his arms wrapped around her body. He's back slammed a little against the wall as he kept Taylor in his embrace.

"Your timing is so horrible." Taylor joked.

"Ermm, it seemed perfect to me. You two baked a cake, and then I arrive, that's s-seemed to be perfect enough." Harry replied with bright smile. "I missed you, by the way."

"Harry, the last time I saw you was last week." Taylor mumbled while rolling her eyes. It all seemed too cliche for her but Harry's Harry, it's kind of part of the package.

"Glad you could come." he smiled, letting Taylor go. "I thought you couldn't."

"Harry, of course I'll find a way to come.”

"Yeah, come on, I'll show you my room before the lads come." Harry said, leading Taylor up the staircase. "Besides, who knows what Lux will do to my room?"

"Isn't she like two to three?" Taylor asked.

"She's two and a half, so what's to say she can't color my walls pink?" Harry said, he opened the door to his room.

Unlike the rest of the house, Harry's bedroom wasn't as spotless. His carpet was a little dusty, his bed is disarranged, a few messy things on the table but the wall, the wall is the most different one of all, Harry's bedroom wall had a lot of photographs pasted on it, some were his pictures, some were his family, some were the lads and some were Taylor. The pictures had gone to a maximum rate wherein some overlapped with each other. Many of those photographs had notes on them written with a marker wherein some had actual sticky notes pasted on them. Harry is a busy guy with his camera.

"Whoa, have you ever heard of photo albums? You really need one." Taylor teased. "Where's Lux?" She asked while sitting down on Harry's bed. Harry remained standing while he fidgets with his sticky notes and other photographs that are on the drawers.

"Oh, she- she's with my mum. I just told you that she's in here so I could get you to come here." Harry answered, he wrote something on a sticky note and pasted it on the wall. After a while, he faced Taylor, "I suggest you to meet my mum later, trust me, she'll call you daughter-in-law. Just get yourself slightly prepared for it. I rarely bring a girl home. Besides, I heard Gemma already called you-"

"Her sister-in-law. Yeah, she's quite lovely, you know that? A lot like you. The in-law thing sort of freaked me out, slightly earlier." Taylor remarked while staring at the photos on the bedroom wall.

Harry ruffled his hair with a dimpled smile etched on his face.

"Yeah, better get used to it. Who knows, maybe you'll end up as Mrs. Styles." he said with another mischievous simper.

Taylor laughed at him, "It's too early to think about that! I'm still seventeen, Harry! Not yet!" she almost screamed while laughing so hard, her face is changing to a light tint of red, which Harry seemed to be more amused at.

"Who knows, anyways? Maybe if we're older, you'll open the door for me since you've been waiting and I'm home. It's nice to know that you'll be there. I want that to happen." he replied, then lied on the bed, near her. He sighed dreamily and still, he's smiling. To be quite honest, Taylor barely got what he was trying to say, it confused her but she decided to drop the subject and clear her head from it.

She looked down at him, "You look dreamy in that state." She remarked, she loved watching Harry's eyes sparkle as he tell her things either from his past or what he imagines to be the future.

"Promise that'll happen." Harry said.

She only giggled at him, seeing as she didn't really understand that one earlier. She only understood the part where he says she'll be the one waiting home when they get older.

Harry pinched her cheeks and said, "Come on, promise me." He tried to be annoying as possible.

"Promise me, please Tay. Please." The second part sounded like he was a child asking for something that she just don't give. "Please Tay."

 _He honestly looks cute this way._ Taylor giggled again and nodded her head, "I promise that'll happen. Alright? No need for these stuff. Promise." She whispered then lowered her head until their foreheads touched.

Harry lifted his, while smiling and their lips almost touched.

Until someone by the door cleared his throat, stopping the two of them. Taylor felt her heart stop in the moment, she gasped because of the interruption whereas Harry groaned in annoyance. Both of them already knew who it was, it amused Taylor but she had no idea if it was the same for him.

"Louis?" He whispered.

"Yeah."

Harry groaned and rolled his eyes as he turned around. _Ha! Saved by theTommoBear!_ Taylor could tell Harry was annoyed but Louis is enjoying it. Louis, the brown-haired, sea-green eyed boy who wore stripes and red skinny jeans, the master of sass and interrupting private moments - who is both their best friend. He has his moments when gets pretty annoying but Taylor liked him being around, he's a good friend anyways.

"I hope I am not interrupting, something. But your mum is calling you, Harry." Louis said with a menacing grin. _Obviously, he's interrupting something and he knows that_ "Urgent, Styles."

"Promise, I'll see you later, love." Harry smiled and went downstairs with Louis who left while smiling cheekily on Taylor.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

**Two Years Later**

"Come on, Taylor... maybe just the one with the green eyes." El, Taylor's roommate begged. She pleaded with her big brown eyes, constantly brushing off her long, wavy brown hair off her face. El held the photograph of Taylor with her friends when she was in high school, no matter how hard she begged, Taylor just wouldn't budge.

Taylor turned her back on her, and faced the wall nearest to her bed. "No." She said coldly.

El pouted, Taylor never says anything about her highschool life, she never opened up. During the last few months that they've been together in a small dorm, Taylor never ever talked about her past. Taylor is usually bright and cheery but when it comes to the highschool stuff, she starts to get cold and quiet. Taylor had a reason for that.

"Why? What happened to the two of you?" _Unfortunately,_ El didn't know when to stop. Taylor gets annoyed at her oftentimes but she doesn't say a thing, El is a little bit childish which reminds her of--

"I don't want to talk about it." _Not any of them if that matters._

"I meant-- the one with the sea-green eyes. He looks as though he is--" El suddenly squealed, making Taylor look at her again.

"What?" Taylor asked, sitting up.

El struggled to get up on her feet and clawed through her drawers, throwing everything out, occasionally hitting Taylor with lipsticks and hairbrushes.

"What happened to you?"

Taylor got hit by a watch in the face but it didn't hurt much. She was too focused on El, the squealing, jumping, overreacting, fangirl. Taylor wondered why, El mentioned 'sea-green eyes' but it's impossible that El knew him.

"El, would you please calm down?!"

It was no use. El wasn't listening at all. She pulled something out of her drawer and it turned out to be a picture of a football team.

"Why didn't you tell me?" El squealed in the highest pitch.

Taylor's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Tell you, what?"

"That you knew Louis Tomlinson!" She screamed.

Suddenly, Taylor couldn't make much of it. It doesn't make any sense at all. How come El knew Louis? Louis wasn't that famous during high school and as far as Taylor knew, he went back to Doncaster for college.

"How did you--"

"Hello, Taylor. You would probably know if one of your friends is a rising football player!" El jumped up and down, showing her the poster of the brown-haired boy with sea-green eyes, with that distinct jawline and cheekbone structure and that annoying smile. Only, he wasn't just the normal funny best friend Taylor knew, he was wearing a white T-shirt and some shorts, all sweaty as though the photo was taken after a game.

Louis? Famous? He was good at football, Taylor knew that. But she never knew he was _tha_ t good.

"I-I didn't know. I lost contact with him since I went here." Taylor replied quietly. Actually, she lost contact with all of her high school friends since she got here.

El rolled her eyes and pouted. "Aww, so do you have any other pictures with him?" She asked, with that huge grin and 'ready-to-squeal-anytime' face.

Taylor sighed and took out a photo album in her bag. She figured if she's not gonna tell anything, it might've been better to at least show her the pictures, in which, she have a lot of them. Taylor handed it to El.

"Thank you!! You're an angel!!" El squealed and lied on her belly on her bed with the photo album right in front of her.

"Just don't ask questions."

"Oh sure." El said. "Oh, how do you open this thing?" She asked.

"Ugh." Taylor stood up and practically wanting to punch herself. She wanted to punch herself in the fact that the photo album had a specially made lock.

El suddenly looked guilty. "Wait, are you mad at me?"

"No." Taylor mumbled, _I'm mad at myself._ Taylor swore a few times under her breath, "Sorry, it's just--"

"The lock only opens for something." El said.

"Yeah, my necklace." Taylor sighed and pulled something out of her drawer, inside a box that even she never dared to open.

Taylor took out the necklace, she never wanted to look at it again, even hold it in her hands but, too late. Avoiding the past makes its way back to you after all. She shut her eyes really hard.

"El, can you please hand it to me?" Taylor asked and El handed the photo album to her. She unlocked it using her necklace and put the necklace back inside the box then kept it away. She handed the photo album back to El.

"Just don't lock it. Just please don't."

"Okay, I get it."

She lied back down, clearing her head with random thoughts. She didn't want to remember anything actually, well, except for Louis maybe. Her eyes are getting filled with tears but she held them back.

"Louis wasn't your ex, was he?" El asked, just then, Taylor didn't know if it was for the sake of her knowledge about Taylor's life or for Louis.

"Everyone back then thought we were something else, but best friends are the furthest we got to." Taylor said, it was alright to talk about Louis. She loved thinking about him, she only hated it because she'd miss him. And right now, she misses him so badly.

"Oh, so HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN MY ROOMMATE IS THE BESTFRIEND OF MY CELEBRITY IDOL?!" El yelled, much to Taylor's surprise. It clearly reminded her how much of a fangirl El is.

"I wouldn't know. You don't show me your posters and that was your mistake." Taylor replied.

El pouted again, then just went back to the photo albums, every once in a while saying comments with Taylor quietly keeping her sarcastic thoughts for herself such as:

"He's so cute!" El said. _Wait, cute?!_ Taylor thought.

"Why is he so handsome?” Sorry?

"Such beautiful eyes." Okay, agreed.

"Louis is so tall." Haha, okay.

"Although, you two look good." No, we don't!

"He is so fab!" You could say that.

"Louis Tomlinson is perfect!!!"

Taylor didn't realize she was snickering continuously while El was staring.

El glared at her. "Taylor, don't think I don't know what you're thinking.”

"Sorry. Can we please stop talking about him? I just miss him more." It was true, yet Taylor doesn't like talking about him for another reason: he was also the best friend of her ex. She didn't want to be reminded of those stuff anymore, she just wanted to forget about it. Although it is impossible.

"Okay sure. But do you still communicate with him?"

"Like I said, I lost contact. If I had his number, I would've called him up or at least gave it to you." Taylor answered and closed her eyes. She is tired but somehow she felt a little lighter, just a little though.

For a few moments, they didn't talk to each other since El was too busy fangirling over the annoying weirdo Taylor just used to tease and laugh with. Taylor closed her eyes again, and well, as much as she hated it, memories poured back into place.

_"Taylor!!!" Louis yelled upon seeing Taylor from across the yard. It was just another normal weekend, Taylor had hoped for it to be quiet yet, hearing that voice says otherwise. The rest of the lads consecutively walked in the yard._

_She gasped as Louis' strong arms wrapped around her as though they haven't seen each other in years. In reality, it had only been two days since she last saw Louis._

_"Okay, okay Lou." She choked out, barely breathing. Instead of getting the message, Louis held on much tighter._

_"Lou, can't... breathe."_

_Harry walks in forward with the casual smirk and hands-in-the pocket demeanor. "Errm, umm, Lou, save some for me, will you?"_

_Only then did Louis let go. Taylor caught her breath. "Finally. Thanks Harry." She breathed out._

_"Anytime, love." Harry said before pulling her into a hug. Taylor hated being touchy-feely in front of their friends, but Harry wasn't that much shy around them. Harry let her go after a while._

_Louis groaned. "Get a bloody room."_

_"What? Lou, you got a hug, why can't I?" Harry said, grinning broadly as he had the right side over here._

_Louis faced Harry, despite the height difference, the two seemed to be equally sharing the brave tension. He grinned too, saying, "There's a difference between best friends and boyfriends. Capisce?”_

_Harry ran a finger through his brown curls with the same grin, "There's a difference between boy-bestfriend and best boyfriend. Capisce?"_

_Liam, Zayn and Niall groaned, "You two are acting like children." Zayn said, walking in._

_"Guys, stop it." Taylor rolled her eyes._

_Harry merely smiled at Taylor._

_"Hmm? Sure, love." He grabbed her hand and their fingers interlocked. "We're going somewhere." He whispered._

_"Where?" Taylor asked._

_"That old abandoned airport, nothing too romantic." Harry said, but even his 'non-romantic' idea seemed to be romantic. How? He's just plain sweet, that's all._

_"Wait, gotta tell my--"_

_Harry laughed, pulling Taylor out of the yard. "I already told them." They glanced at the house then Harry waved at the windows where her family seemed to be watching them. "Bye mum! Bye dad! I'll take Taylor home before seven, I promise!" He yelled. The lads behind them jeered and hooted like owls._

_He led Taylor to his car who was still having trouble believing he just yelled that. They were alone in the car, that was better but still, she couldn't believe it._

_"You just called my parents, 'mom' and 'dad'?" Taylor said._

_Harry just smiled and gave Taylor a light kiss. "Why not? My sister already calls you her 'sister', Lux already calls you 'aunt'. That shouldn't be a problem."_

_"I know, but-"_

_"We're still too young. Pressure filling your head? Yeah, me too. Though I can assure you they didn't hear it."_

_Harry didn't move the car yet._

_"Niall's coming on-board." He muttered._

_"Okay. But why?”_

_"Lou acts like a father these days, making sure the two of us don't do things that are-" Harry smiled as he unlocked the back door. "private."_

_Taylor laughed as Niall went inside the car. It was okay for Taylor. She didn't mind having Niall inside the car. In fact, they even made at least two stops at drive-thru's for food. Harry had no choice since he was driving with both his passengers acting like children._

"Taylor, wake up!" El yelled, shaking Taylor until she woke up.

She groggily sat up and looked around. The sky seemed too dark now, the dorm was lit by a small lightbulb. El was already wearing her night clothes.

Taylor rubbed her eyes gently, "Okay, how long did I sleep?"

El smiled a bit, "Oh, only a good nine hours. That'll suck because you probably won't be able to sleep well tonight. I had a slight nap time, so we could probably stay up all night, ya know, blast some tunes from the newest albums." She started blabbering a bit too much but Taylor understood completely.

"Yeah, just let me change. God, I've slept that long?!" El didn't answer anymore while Taylor changed her clothes to a sweater and pajamas. They were the most comfortable thing she wore all day.

After changing, Taylor found El looking at her photo album, she's probably going over it for the seventeenth time.

"Okay, seeing as you'd like some details about Lou. Let's play twenty questions." Taylor suggested.

El's brown eyes widened even more like Taylor had given her the best birthday gift ever.

"This is exactly why I love you! You are such an angel!!!" El squealed and started jumping up and down. Taylor smiled, she knew the consequences of playing this game, she just wanted to know if she can take it or not.

El shut the photo album, almost locking it, "Don't lock it!" Taylor yelled.

El laughed and said, "Oh yeah. Sorry."

"It's alright. Shall we?"

"Okay, you first." El said.

Taylor smiled, "Ah, okay since you wanted to talk 'bout him, since when have you been a fan of ugh Louis?"

"Since I came here. I saw him play once in the internet so, I looked them up and then yeah, it started." El answered.

"My turn. Didn't Louis ever think of courting you? I mean, you are pretty." El asked.

"Trust me, he never thought about it--"

 _And so on and so forth._ Most of their questions are about Louis at first, it was until they dug deeper past.

"He gave you that necklace, didn't he? Your ex?" El, her voice turning from ultimate fangirl squeal to gentle and serious.

Taylor tried smiling. "Yeah." Her tone became quiet. "It was his favorite, actually."

"So in the very end, who broke up?"

"Me, he once left, then came back but I told him it's too late." Taylor replied, now her emotions filling up. The room was being covered in a gloomy atmosphere. It won't change.

El hesitated asking, the rules of the game was supposed to be taking turns but somehow, Taylor let El break the rules.

"Do you regret it?"

Taylor bowed her head. Her blue eyes didn't get flooded this time, but it sparkled with sadness. She looked back at El, her face slightly assuring yet more gloomy.

"I think I do. _I love him, but I guess it was meant to fall apart from the start._ We were after all, young and carefree."

"Time and distance, I get it. Do you need a hug now?" El kidded just to lighten her up a bit.

Taylor smiled again, brighter yet her eyes says otherwise. "I won't mind.”

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

Taylor didn't sleep well last night. Actually, she barely had any sleep at all. Her eyes grew dark, but since most of them here had those, it shouldn't be a sight unlike it used to in highschool. She wasn't planning to go out, it's Sunday anyways.

El went out for a while, causing Taylor to be absolutely bored. She messed with her guitars for a while until she lost her enthusiasm for it. For a while, she wondered how her friends are doing, she'd wager the five lads in too. She hoped they're alright wherever they are.

Even with the painful stuff she's been through with them, she still wants them around. Although, after a while, she erased the thought out of her head. Just no, if there was one thing you can't do, it's to go back in time.

A while later, El burst through the door, screaming and jumping up and down. Taylor was so used to this scenario but she could've sworn it gets worse.

"Quiet, El. Jeez! You're worse than Lou!" She said, almost covering her ears.

El quieted down, but there was the beautiful smile on her face. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Taylor rolled her eyes. _Of course you would._

"Anywho, the Midnight Maroons have a match next month at a stadium just a town from here!!" She squealed, celebrating about something Taylor was too slow about.

"Should I know who they---"

El blabbered out before she could finish her sentence, "You should, it's Louis' freaking team!"

"So, you are planning to go there-"

Then again, El cut her off. "With you, of course! No busy busy, little missy. This is your best friend."

Taylor knew there was something more to it than Louis being her best friend. Of course it has something to do with him being her crush.

"And your idol. I get it. I'll go. Did you just call me 'little'?" Taylor asked.

El just squealed again. Her hyper-ness and excitement piling up together, she's unstoppable. "Thanks! This is going to be great!! And I know you are taller."

"Sure, whatever you say."

"I still ship you with him."

Taylor would have choked, "You what?!" Now, she's getting annoyed. This girl acts exactly like Louis, Taylor was just afraid to tell her that, she'd faint.

"That's the thing about ships, it's not really a couple but they _ar_ e a couple." El explained which made no sense.

"Don't. Look, as much as I love Louis for almost anything about him, it didn't go far. If he doesn't have a girlfriend, I might even hint you to him." Taylor winked, and for a second, El seemed to be near fainting. In fact, Taylor thought she would because she didn't seem to breathe.

But then she said, "Nah, meeting him is enough. But thanks for the offer." El replied, then lied down.

"Is he good at some things besides football?" El asked.

"Singing, acting... he's great." Taylor mumbled. "But dancing, he's got two left feet."

El laughed at the last thing. "Singing? He's really good at that?"

"He is. One of the best voices I have ever heard. Oh well, let's just wait until next month."

"Can't really wait! Imma make a Laylor banner!!" El yelled, digging through her pens and cartolinas.

Taylor scoffed in annoyance. _Yep, El is definitely worse than Louis._ "Laylor? No, don't even-"

"Louis and Taylor sitting in a tree-" El sung with the most annoying grin. She danced around the room throwing paper petals only God knows she kept. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!" El gasped. "Have you kissed him?"

Taylor felt like she could vomit anytime. "Ew, no!" She yelled. _Kiss Louis? Never ever!_

Instead of stopping, El grinned even more annoyingly. "Not even on the cheek?"

She opened her mouth to object but Taylor realized Louis had done that. She shut her mouth instantly, and scoffed.

"I KNEWWW IT!" El yelled and danced around even more.

"You are so worse than him! Much worse!" Taylor groaned.

"But if he courted you, what would you have said?" El asked another annoying question.

Taylor knew if she answered 'yes' it would probably be another reason for El's "Reasons Why Laylor Should Exist" notebook, she might've already created it since she had been writing stuff in her notebook lately. If Taylor said 'no', she would be lying.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I would've said 'yes'." Taylor said, emphasizing the last word but regretting it after El went to an all-out freak-out. El screamed, screeched, squealed and ran around in extreme hyper-ness. Her high-pitched screams and chants filled the room. She just couldn't be stopped.

"El, please stop it." Taylor's words don't do much of a difference.

"Shh, be quiet!"

"Seriously, why overreact? You just found out yesterday!"

"El, honestly calm down!"

"Oh, for the love of God."

El never stopped blabbering about Louis, asking Taylor questions, making banners, ship names and a lot of other stuff fangirls do all day. Taylor was annoyed yet had fun at the same time, it reminds her so much about Louis but it also reminds her about the other green-eyed boy, the other one with curly brown hair and dimples showing up as he smiles.

_"Harry, it's already past seven." Taylor reminded Harry. After driving around the abandoned airport for a couple of hours, they decided to stay as the rest of the lads went home. The sky was getting dark, the sun already set and both Taylor and Harry are still sitting on the hood of his car, leaning against the windshield, just watching the sky move._

_Harry smiled that dimpled smile and chuckled. "I told you, they didn’t hear it. When I asked permission, I said 'eleven'."_

_Smart. Taylor thought. "The sky is beautiful though." She said, completely out of context._

_Little did she notice, Harry was staring at her. She didn't realize it until she heard the whirr and saw the flash of the camera he used to take a picture._

_He smiled, deep dimples coming out. "Beautiful. It's perfect." He said, making Taylor feel the tingling cold inside._

_"Harry..."_

_"What?" He kept his smile and continuously stared at Taylor's face, those green eyes stuck at her sky blue. It was making her heart race, making her hands shake and her mind into scrambles._

_"Stop doing that!"_

_Harry chuckled and took another picture with his camera. The flash was blinding but it only lasted a second. After that, it was all quiet but the sound of crickets, the groans of the vehicles on the nearby road and the passing of an airplane_.

_"Airplane, hmm."_

_He suddenly took off his necklace, the paper airplane necklace, his favorite... Taylor stared at it as Harry puts it around her neck._

_"Harry, it's your favorite." Taylor said, trying to object. The paper airplane is very pretty and she loved it around Harry's neck and not hers._

_"Why do you think I am giving it to you?" Harry locked the necklace and smiled again. "I love you, okay? Don't you dare take that off." He said in his low voice, his English accent sounding thicker than usual._

_It seemed as Taylor had no choice. "But, Harry-"_

_"Never ever. Keep that with you that all times, love." He cut Taylor off._

_Taylor sighed in defeat. "Okay. Thank you." That was all she can say. What else could she say? The lad just gave her his favorite necklace, the one he wears all the time._

_Harry kicked off his hood for little support as he leaned over to Taylor. He gave her another kiss, the second one he gave today. After a few seconds, he broke from the kiss and leaned back to the windshield, his lips near Taylor's ear._

_"I love you, Taylor." He whispered._

_"I love you, too."_

_For a while they were quiet, until Harry started talking again. His eyes were closed but his lips were still near Taylor's ear._

_"I honestly never thought I'd make it this far with you. I wasn't one of the cool guys, I was the weird kid, the one who always held the camera. I always wondered why." He confessed._

Taylor chuckled. _"Exactly why, you were the stuttering weird kid who always held the camera. Well, not to mention the fact that your best friend got close to me, he was your wingman."_

_Harry laughed. "Hey, for my defence it was his idea. I once told him I liked you but I never thought he'd take it seriously. It was worth it, though."_

_"Yeah, but no matter how weird you were, you had loads of girls tailing behind you. What made you choose me?" Taylor asked._

_"Ermm, um ... I never really thought about that, I just did."_

_Taylor rolled her eyes at the indirect answer. Slick moves, Harry. Very slic_ k.

Then the memory ended.

Taylor loved that night at the same time she hated it. Memories are getting to be the worst ideas these days. She tried avoiding them oftentimes but talking about Louis, the one who had become both their best friends, wasn't exactly helping.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

Taylor patiently waited for their professor to dismiss the class. She wasn't only worried about the homework piled for the day, but also the fact that El might come bursting through the door, yelling "The match is four hours from now!!" Which is bizarre to even think of. El might be a fangirl but that girl is a heck of a shy one, unless she gets comfortable with you.

She sung a few songs inside her head as she waited for those few words. _Come on, say it already. I want to finish my assignments earlier. Hurry._

And then the moment she had been waiting for. "And class, -" _yes? Yes?_ "Don't forget the analysis." _What?!_ Taylor, along with the rest of the class groaned. "You're dismissed."

She rushed outside and to her dorm room where El was getting ready, while she had to do her homework. Taylor groaned and started working on her homework, she got through them as fast she could. Still, the time stress got inside her head. She was so unfocused and distracted that she was only done after two hours.

"Seriously, why is the match held at night? This isn't high school." Taylor complained as she was pulling out clothes from the drawers.

"Well, since it's Friday, people would have work and school. Few would come so... need I say more?" El answered, patiently waiting for Taylor. Strangely, she wasn't freaking out, she seemed so calm.

"Nope." Taylor replied and went inside the bathroom to change. She chose the normal clothes she is comfortable with, simple gray shirt, varsity jacket and shorts. She didn't pick her red skinny jeans since El would make it another addition to her notebook.

"You look like a model." El said.

Taylor raised an eyebrow, seeing as El was wearing a stylish overall jumper with her sweater cropped right above her waist. She looked absolutely stunning but at the same time, cute. Taylor didn't know it was possible. She was simply beautiful. 

"Look who's talking." Taylor mumbled.

"Is it okay?" El asked, _okay? El, literally? It's amazing!!_

Taylor smiled, "Yeah, you look beautiful. So, shall we?"

El nodded.

It seemed as though the two are in the 'no-fixing-of-hair' club since their wavy hairs are simply bouncing as they walk to the parking lot. 

"I'm literally overdressed." El groaned. All she had to do was open the car door and sit on the passenger seat, she now took two whole minutes.

"Nope. Elegant, cute and not too showy. You're not overdressed. Now, get in the car." Taylor mumbled as El was taking a bit too long to get in the car.

El went inside and Taylor did the same. At first, all you can hear was the radio but somehow, after a while, you could hear the rumble of the engine. Taylor's mind was flying she could barely focus on the road. The road... flashes blurred her sight, voices filled her head. _Whoa, whoa whoa... what's going on?_ She felt dizzy and at the same time tired all of a sudden, her grip on the steering wheel was tightening and her eyes on the road, but it isn't exactly what she's seeing.

Taylor was going way too fast she barely noticed it. El was starting to shake on the passenger seat. The moment Taylor gasped upon hearing the click of the seatbelt, she looked at the speed meter and realized she really needed to slow down. Her pulse was too fast, her forehead had sweat pouring down and she looked as if she just ran a kilometre.

Taylor started slowing down, the road barely had cars in it but for El's sake, she needed to. "Sorry." She apologized.

El exhaled, "Didn't know you could go this fast. What happened?" 

Taylor gulped nervously. "Car anxiety." She mumbled. "Okay, distract me from that thought, please." She said, her mind starting to get flashes.

"Okay, what album are we supposed to play?" El asked. It's working actually.

"Hmm, pick anything." She replied.

"Hmm, let's see skulls, no... a girl wearing a dress... hmm no, boys on the beach... nope. Ahh, boys on a telephone booth!" El said and inserted a CD on the stereo.

"Is that even a thing?" Taylor asked, wondering how these albums got in her car.

"Honestly, I don't know. Let's just sing along."

After at least thirty-minutes they got to the stadium El said it would be held. Pretty much, a block away, they could already hear a lot of people cheering. The atmosphere was lively and it was pretty much affecting the two. Both smiled before leaving the car.

They got in after a 'long' couple of minutes waiting in line. The game was about to start when the two got settled on the seats almost at the middle row. The two bought a few snacks as the match started. It was a battle between red and black.

"Okay so which team are we on?" Taylor asked. 

"The red ones. Maroon?!" El answered, her eyes rolling. From that distance, the boy was easily spotted.

Louis was wearing a red shirt with a white 'Tomlinson 17' on his back. He was wicked fast on the field, _perks of being 5'8._ Taylor laughed at that thought then focused on the game.

El was continuously yelling support for Louis' team. She held up the banners and that seemed to work. They both cheered every time Louis' team got some points.

The game heated up, seeing as Louis made a lot of scores lately, one dark haired from the black, the Blizzards with a 'Roxfer 09' on his back was eyeing Louis.

"This is trouble. 09 is eyeing 17." Taylor whispered to El.

"Oh, you're right."

They watched intently as Louis made his way to the opponent's side of the field, facing 09. He moved around with the ball rolling in-between his feet. He was fast and he could kick it to goal anytime but he was guarded by 09 and two others.

Just as when he was about to pass it to his teammate, 09 kicked hard enough to get the ball moving. Louis fell to the ground, the audience gasped as they saw the scene. 

"Hey!!! Whistle you ref! Whistle!! GIVE 09 A YELLOW CARD FOR THE LOVE OF-" El started overreacting, she stood up so suddenly.

Taylor pulled her back to her seat as the referee blew the whistle. "Calm down, El. Calm down. He'll be fine." She said as she was used to seeing Louis with injuries. It usually disappears after a day or two like it was nothing.

Louis walked away from the field, his left foot limping while the other player got a yellow card. Louis sat back on the bench, looking really pissed off. Taylor would know, she already have some experiences with that. Louis is a bit hot-headed during games like this when the opponent takes it out on him. Taylor was just hoping Louis would keep it cool. Otherwise, it wouldn't end up too good.

"Fine?! Taylor I can't calm down, look he's freaking talking to a medic!!" El yelled but Taylor remained calm.

"I've seen him like that for so many times. I learned to get used to it." Taylor replied. "So calm down. He'll be back for the last quarter.”

El sat back on the chair, her arms crossed with her pouty lips. She looked like a kid who hadn't got a birthday present, Taylor just laughed at her. "Fine. I'll calm down. Fine."

The Midnight Maroons were losing with the score of 3-6, the coach decided to put Louis back in the game, which of course followed politely. Minutes before, he seemed to be itching to get back to the game and now he is. 

Louis and his team were doing the best they could to minimize the gap of the scores which is now 6-6, two of which are from Lou.

Only twenty seconds left and the ball is on the opponent's court.

"We're done." El said.

Taylor would've said something to contrdict it but yeah, they aren't professionals yet, it's impossible. "I agree with ya. But who knows, right?" She chuckled.

As Taylor observed, Louis was already tired and the limp foot was still bothering him but he was trying. _You can do it, Peter Pan._ She thought as if her wishful thinking would work.

Louis looked around the stadium and caught Taylor's eyes. In the middle of the game, they just had to have a moment to lock eyes.

Louis grinned broadly, he barely did during the game but now it was on his face. He gave one last wink then after a split second, he mindlessly ran to get the ball from the opponent. He swiftly kicked the ball and passed it on to his teammate.

_Eleven, ten, nine, eight..._

They were in the opponent's court, Louis was the nearest to the goal, the ball was still handled by his teammate.

_Seven, six, five..._

His teammate kicked the ball to Louis who was guarded by two of their opponents. The crowd seemed to be breathless as everyone stares.

_Four, three..._

Louis could barely find an opening.

_Two..._

He spun around one of his guards with the ball still between his feet.

_One..._

He kicked the ball with strong force.

The whistle blew, the crowd went crazy everyone stood up. The game was over, they won.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! We actually won!" El yelled holding Taylor's both hands. After a few seconds of not breathing and frozen hearts, they celebrated.

Taylor was still in a state of shock, she saw Louis' victories many times, she watched these glorious moments play before her eyes... but still every time feels so... great.

The crowd started thinning out but El and Taylor stayed. Same through with the teams, after the match, only Louis was left behind, every once in a while looking at Taylor's direction.

After a good ten-minutes.

"Go, Tay. Don't worry. Seeing him in person is enough." El smiled.

"You sure? I mean-"

"Yeah!" El said, patting her on the shoulder. Taylor nodded and walked to the field. El followed behind her but walked slowly.

Taylor stopped on her tracks as she saw him right before her eyes. He changed over the summer, his messy brown hair is now cut to an easily-fixed hairstyle, not too thin and not too thick, his biceps are bigger but he still looked thin. Though the ones that stayed the same was his sea-green eyes and annoying grin.

The moment froze, they were both quiet until Louis diffused the tense atmosphere. "I did good, right?" He said his English accent purely visible. His arms open wide with the grin on his face.

Taylor ran and wrapped her arms around him. He did the same, yet his was bone-crushing and breath-freezing. 

"Lou-" Taylor gasped again. She remembered how she couldn't breathe when it was Lou who hugs her, she still didn't get used to it. Despite his wet shirt, his sweaty face and arms, Taylor could still tell that it was Louis and his scent. "Need... air!"

Louis let go and said, "I forgot how fragile you are, red princess."

"I am not the one with the limping left foot, Peter Pan." Taylor replied. She missed Louis, she missed how they would talk in their made-up nicknames, she missed him.

"You weren't the one playing exactly." Louis replied, he saw El who was sitting on the bench, basically feeling like the third wheel. "And who is that?" Louis whispered.

"Eleanor. Call her, El. She's kind of my roommate." Taylor said. She leaned down to Louis whisper something, "Your number one fan apart from your mom." 

Louis laughed. "Sure. She's pretty though." He said.

"I know, hey can I have your number?" Taylor asked.

"I gave it to you before graduation!!!" Louis said.

Taylor's eyebrows met. "No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did!"

"Nope."

"I bloody did!"

"No, you did not." She replied. "If I have, I would have called you up."

"And I haven't called you up because oh well-"

Taylor rolled her eyes. "Don't you dare-"

"Since you changed it! I still miss you, though."

"I missed you too. Now, the number?" Taylor said, starting to realize that after a couple months they haven't seen each other all they did when they met up is argue about phone numbers.

They exchanged numbers as quick as possible. Taylor was rushing it since she's with El. She might've misses Louis, but she can't leave her roommate hanging there.

"Can I ask you a favour?" Taylor asked.

"Yeah, what?"

"Talk to her. Please."

"No problem. I was going to talk to her anyways." Louis grinned and swaggered his way to El. Taylor watched like she was about to burst into laughter. Louis was doing his slick, charming moves any girl would fall for. Unfortunately for Taylor, she was too used to it that it irritates her.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

It was so awkward. Not that it's awkward for Louis and her to hold hands but it's just awkward that El was staring directly. Taylor quickly shook of Louis' hand from the car door.

Instead of going to a hotel with his team, Louis insisted he'd go with Taylor and El for a while, just to catch up, he says. Though Taylor knew it was a lot more than that, she saw Louis sending obvious winks and doing his charming moves at El. It was both weird and awkward but at least El wasn't the third wheel. It was becoming her.

In the argument of who's driving the car, Louis kept insisting that he drives, so accidentally, both put their hands on the car door.

"I'm driving." She said, pulling the car door open. She was about to get inside when Louis pulled her back by her arm.

"Ow." She said, glaring at Louis who had the most unreadable face.

Then he smiled. "I am driving, red princess."

"It's my car, you're just a guest." Taylor grumbled.

Louis shook his head. "It's too uncomfortable for boys to be in the passenger seat while a girl is driving, especially if it's red princess."

"No, I hate the passenger seat." Taylor said seriously with the death glare Louis would usually back away to, and he did.

Louis slowly backed away then smiled. "I was joking. Fine, passenger seat it is." He said then walked to the passenger seat.

They all went inside the car, the only sound you could hear was the engine rumble and a certain song Louis was singing with. His voice sounds so amazing but none of them wanted to say a word. Taylor knew exactly why, it was her mood that was overpowering the atmosphere.

She sighed, "El, you okay back there?" She asked.

"Yep." El answered.

"Lou?" Taylor asked. She wasn't exactly expecting an answer from Louis since... they share the same moods, when one is down, the other is dragged down as well.

"Sorry, I forgot about the thing--from you know..."

"Stop. Just stop." Taylor mumbled, she was trying so hard to focus and the same time trying to level her breathing. "Anxiety, it gets worse." She said, trying to make it 'open' since the method of shutting it doesn't help.

"Wow, I'll drive and you sit beside El." He suggested. "Oh El, you okay back there?"

"Yes. You guys are so-" El paused, probably hesitating.

Louis raised an eyebrow with a charming smile, "So... what?"

"Nothing." El answered, with a cheeky grin.

"If I find out it's something, then you're dead!" Louis warned, looking at the mirror in front where El's reflection can be seen.

"Ooh, I'm really shaking. What are you gonna do, smile the hell out of me?" El replied sarcastically.

All of them inside the car laughed.

Taylor could've sworn she saw El smirking. She loved how the two acted like they knew each other for a while but in reality had only been thirty minutes ago.

Louis continuously shatters the silence, singing through songs such as: 'Sweet Child of Mine' and many more.

"So, should I drive now?" Louis smiled.

Taylor looked at him skeptically. Louis had never been an awful driver, she just brings herself the idea of annoying him first... though it was never successful.

"Come on, not a scratch. El needs company." He pleaded, his sea-green eyes sparkling because of the reflecting lights.

Taylor groaned in defeat as she pulls the car to the side of the road.

"Yay!" Louis cheered, sliding to the driver's seat. Taylor went out and moved to the backseat where El was still smiling cheekily.

"Annoying fellow, isn't he?" El whispered. Taylor would've scoffed once more as they are on the same level of 'annoying'.

"I'd keep it down, if I were you." Taylor replied with a whisper, barely expecting for Louis to hear it as the radio is a bit loud.

He turned off the radio and looked at the mirror where Taylor and El could be seen. "I'd keep it down too, otherwise I would've heard me. Nice try, there dames."

El's jaw dropped but Taylor's face only says one thing... "I'm used to it" she said.

Louis just chuckled. "El, I bet Tay haven't told you everything about me and her."

_What?!_

"Oh my gosh, no she haven't!!" El started fangirling again. She started shaking while holding Taylor's hand.

Taylor was actually in the middle of the line between a weirdo and another weirdo. Nothing could be worse but standing in the middle of their lines. _God, these two seemed to do nothing but mess around._

"You see, El..." Louis paused for a while, leaving El waiting for it.

"Yes? Yes?"

"We just ended up being best friends." He continued, shattering the hopes of the brunette beside Taylor. He and Taylor started laughing and gave each other a high-five.

El pouted in her seat, apparently, disappointed. "Should have seen it coming."

"But you didn’t.”

You'd think it'd be one normal drive, but along the way, it was the noisiest scene Taylor had ever been with El. There were these constant:

"No, take a left turn there!" El yelled, practically ignoring the fact that the boy should be a stranger to her. He just missed the left turn, now he had to back away and add fifteen seconds more to the drive. "Honestly, do you even know the left and the right?"

"Yeah, held them high, clean and bright." Lou let go of the steering wheel for a split second with a huge grin then held on. The car didn't shift its direction but for _that_ split second... Taylor's heart literally stopped.

"Seriously, Lou... how old are you?" She asked.

"I am freaking Peter Pan, Red Princess... I do not get old." Lou said.

"In your dreams." El remarked.

"Indeed, I live in those." Louis answered calmly.

"Hey! You just passed the second from the last right turn before the diversion road!" El yelled again.

Louis had to reverse the car's track once more. "What is it with brunettes and turns?"

"You're a brunet too."

"Which makes you the only blonde here, Taylor." _So what?_

"Hair color doesn't measure intellect-"

"Nerd."

"Did you just call, El a nerd?"

"No, I called her 'beautiful'." Louis answered, Taylor wasn't quite sure if it was a compliment or a remark of sarcasm.

"Well, this is awkward." El said. "Now, take another bloody right there!"

Louis just did as he was told to do. "Seriously, dames." He complained and groans as the two tells him the directions.

"I was wondering..." El mumbled.

"Wondering about what?"

"Your left foot was supposed to be injured." El said, Taylor had almost forgotten about Louis' foot since he seemed to be normal in using it. It was like there was hardly an injury at all.

"Oh, this? I've had worse. Don't worry, love." Louis smiled, as he keeps his eyes on the road.

"One more thing, Tay."

"What?"

"You rushed doing your assignments earlier... when you could do it this weekend." El raised an eyebrow annoyingly.

Just then, Louis burst out laughing so hard. "Tay!! You really hadn't changed at all."

Dumbfounded, Taylor said, "I haven't thought about it at all."

El and Louis laughed for a while which is irritatingly successful in making Taylor roll her eyes and scoff every once in a while.

It also makes Louis miss a couple of turns, leading to the wrong direction.

"No! Ugh, you're leading to the McDonalds!" El yelled. "You're going the wrong way, Taylor please tell him he's going the wrong way!" El trained while the rest of the two kept calm.

"You're going the wrong way, Lou." Taylor said. "Though I wouldn't mind some food, you two are such kids."

"Oh so the grown-up talked." Louis remarked with a snort. "Fine, I'll just take a U-turn over here-" Louis drifted the car, Taylor and El had to hold on to something. The tire screeched so loudly it was all Taylor heard.

Taylor froze, her face went pale and her skin got too cold. She knew El noticed it as she was holding her arm. Her stare was straight on the road, she just wouldn't move.

"Tay, Tay are you okay?"

There was a bright flash of light...

The night was simply cold, the roads were clear and autumn leaves could be seen dancing at the sides as cars pass through , the sky is a bit cloudy yet no other night could be perfect for a drive. Taylor and Harry enjoys it the way it is, somewhat like a hobby for the two.

_"Keep the windows up, Tay. It's freezing." Harry said, mist coming out of his breath as he talks. The road is foggy, but luckily transparent enough with the help of the headlights._

_Taylor's nose wrinkled but she agreed. She rolled the windows up and stared at the road instead._

_The drive was smooth, with their calm conversation and the presence of their cold coffees._

_"Are you sleeping? You've gone quiet, Tay." Harry chuckled, Taylor looked at Harry who had the dimpled smile and bright green eyes._

_"No, it's just- quiet. What are we going to talk about?" She asked._

_"I don't really know. College plans." He replied._

_"So what're your plans?" Taylor asked._

_"Depending on yours. I don't like distances too much."_

_As Taylor was about to reply... Harry took a rough turn as they almost hit a truck. Harry suddenly hit the brakes. The tires screeched, the view spun and the moment slowed down in the worst way it happened too quickly._

_It can't happen. It's not supposed to._

_"Taylor-" Harry looked at her, his eyes filled with fear and worry._

_Taylor's breath was sharp and she could tell Harry's was also. Are they going to die? Is he? He can't. They both can't. This is not happening. She was only thinking of Harry, when the light from her sight just disappeared._

_She heard one last whisper from Harry, saying her name until everything just disappeared._

"Taylor, talk to me... just talk to me, love." She heard Lou's voice echoing in her head.

"Love, please just look at me. Look at me, Taylor." Louis said, continuously shaking Taylor gently, his eyes staring at hers.

Taylor finally heard them clearly, the mumbles became Louis' gentle voice. “Y-Yeah?"

Slowly, her vision came back. She still felt nauseous but she managed to look around. Everything was spinning, her head hurts, and she couldn't even try focusing.

It seems as they are on the side if the road, as Louis parked it. They weren't very far from the far food chain they were talking about earlier.

Louis was holding both her cheeks with his hands, staring straight with worry while El stares too. Louis seemed so nervous, it doesn't happen very often.

"Oh thank God!" Louis exclaimed, wiping the sweat of his head. He hugged Taylor then broke out from it instantly. "Next time just look at me, okay? Just listen to me."

"Wh-What j-just happened?" She managed, her head was still groggy. She figured it might be her anxiety but it attacked way worse than before.

"Well, you sorta... froze." El said, calmly yet Taylor knew she was scared as well.

Louis let go of her face and dug for something at the front seats of the car. "How are you feeling?" He asked, handing her a water bottle and a bar of chocolate.

"That's chocolate.”

Taylor accepted the water bottle and the chocolate, then answered, "Uneasy, thanks."

"Okay... tell me when we can drive." Louis said in his soothing voice. Taylor stared. "And for the love of God, eat. You look so pale, you look like a vampire.”

"Sure thing, _dad._ " Taylor rolled her eyes and started eating. She partly regretted rolling her eyes as it made her feel more dizzy.

"Now, that's my girl." Louis kidded, he tried making his voice fatherly and somehow succeeded. "El bought some snacks, you two could eat. You sure, you're okay?"

"Yes, Louis. Thanks." She replied gratefully. Not a single sarcasm or irony detected in her voice. "You should drive now."

"You're sure?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah, Taylor... there's no need to rush." El added, her face a mixture of worry, confusion and fear.

Taylor tried her best to put on a smile and nodded. She still feels dizzy, her vision is a bit blurry but she just don't want them to know. She was only worried Louis would notice it since he's been so good at reading faces.

"If you insist. Just tell me if we should stop or you need something." Louis said. "Or if you need to yak, it could be anywhere but me or El. This is your car anyways."

Taylor hit Louis in a friendly way, while laughing. Funny how this guy always manages to make her laugh at different moments in any situation. She could be in her death bed, and this guy could still do it.

"Just drive, Pan." Taylor mumbled.

"Okeydoke." He said, adding an accent that is from another country Taylor couldn't recognize at the moment.

Louis nodded and went to the driver's seat. El and Taylor had this normal conversation but both avoided talking about Taylor's anxiety. Taylor knew that El was curious about why she had a car anxiety but it would have been obvious to El now that she had been in a car accident. Taylor was a bit traumatized but it didn't usually bother her, it was just her fear of passenger seats and sudden breaks.

Louis, being so concerned and all, walked both the ladies to their dorm room...

"Ah, 387 I'll keep note of that." Louis said, leaning on the doorframe as the two went inside.

"Bye Louis, been fun." El said. Louis sent her a wink and another charming smile.

"You gave me your number, right?" Louis asked. _Oh gosh, they got the numbers. Louis... your moves._

El nodded and sat on her bed.

Taylor didn't mind, it was cute but she still felt a little drowsy so she didn't pay attention that much. She lied on her own bed as Louis closed the door.

"Fun fellow, isn't he?" Taylor said, but closed her eyes.

"Yeah. I don't ship you with him anymore... he told me something about that." El said.

Taylor's lip curled upward at the side. "Hmm, yeah. About time."

"Anyways," El yawned. "Have a goodnight sleep." She said, not bothering to change her clothes. She just pulled up her blanket up to her face then after a while started snoring very softly it could barely be heard.

Taylor, on the other hand, was still awake, tossing and turning, trying to sleep. She knew one thing though, _it's going to be a long, long night_.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

Seeing as she couldn't sleep, Taylor put on her headphones and put her playlist on shuffle. Time flew, she just went around the dark room, walking back and forth, quietly humming along the songs. The crescent's moonlight and her phone was her only light source... Her skin was still pale and cold from her anxiety attack earlier but nevertheless, she felt better.

Still she couldn't sleep, same with some other nights. How many? She couldn't count now. Things have changed, back before all of these, she never feared passenger seats, she never feared the roads, she never flinch upon hearing about airports, she never hated the mention of green eyes or things that are British, but now, she doesn't know how to change her mind of those sort of things.

She sighed and lied on her bed again, she continuously hummed through the songs.

Until it rang...

She answered it instantly, knowing already who it was without even reading the caller ID.

"Yeah?" Taylor said, before the caller started talking.

"Well, hearing as you answered that _swiftly,_ I suppose, you're still awake." He greeted, his voice cheery despite the fact that it's almost- Taylor checked the time, _holy smokes, it's already eleven: twenty!_

She chuckled, "You're good.”

"You haven't seen the last of the sassmastaah." Louis replied. "In which case, since I miss you too much, I think I'll take you out tonight."

"But, don't you have a game or something or you have to go back to-"

"Such a nerve-perv." He cooed. "Don't you think I could go back to England on my own? Besides, it's already weekend, you've done your homework, we could do anything."

"Umm-"

"Please, Tay... it's not every day that I get to see my other best friend once more. Don't leave me hanging out here in your parking lot." Louis said, his voice sincere and very serious. It's good to hear that every once in a while, he gets serious on things.

Taylor smiled. "Course, I'll go. I mean how can I say-" she stopped. "You mean you've been waiting there since six this afternoon?!" She almost yelled. She knew Louis can take care of himself but he's too unfamiliar to the place.

"Yep, problem?" Louis asked in a mischievous tone.

"Ugh. Give me a sec, I'll be right there." Taylor said and ended the call. Quickly, she grabbed the jacket she took off earlier then her purse. She ran out of the dorm to the quiet, dark parking lot, constantly mumbling about how much of an idiot Louis is and how she is the same with him since she's following his steps right now.

_What was he thinking? That idiot is going to get to loads of trouble if he keeps doing things like this. He can handle himself, I get that... but not everyone will appreciate his humour and sarcasm._

Mist came out from Taylor's breath as she tries catching it. Her eyes scanned the whole parking lot but no sigh of a 5'8 boy or any movement at all. Is Louis pranking him? No, he wouldn't do that. Why would he risk Taylor's safety for a minute of laughs? Everyone knows how dangerous streets go at nightfall.

_Louis, where are you?_

"Typical..." Taylor mumbled to herself, walking through the wide parking lot. "Lou, where are you?" She whispered, she didn't want to say it out loud anyways.

She kept her arms near her as it was freezing yet she could do nothing about her legs. _Idiot, I should've worn a coat or a scarf at the least._ She kept walking, muttering curses meant for her, and she found herself reaching the end of the parking lot. She stood just right there...

"Keep me staring at nothing and I'll leave, Lou." Taylor said, quite loudly.

And in that moment, Louis came out of nowhere and hugged her. They had loads of hugs, they already have two today, this is the third, actually... still, every time they do, it felt like it was different from the others. It's just one of the feelings neither of them could explain.

"No way. Not going to let you." Louis said in a very cheeky way then let go. He smiled and after it was a rather awkward silence. Taylor was a bit grossed out by his weird choice of words.

"Ugh, Lou... you say that like we're ugh-" She couldn't take the thought very much. "Just... don't do it. It's weird." It really was weird, she doesn't know what situation can be more awkward than her boy best friend, saying those weird cheesy things.

"Aren't you the master of weird?" Louis asked, elbowing him with a troublesome face.

Taylor didn't reply. All she could think of was how cold the night was and how she wanted to go somewhere else besides the middle of the parking lot.

"Okay, I'm glad you wore trainers." Louis said with a smirk.

Taylor looked down on her sneakers, "What trai- whoa!" Louis suddenly ran and pulled her behind.

The cold wind hit her face, her long, wavy blonde hair flew behind her so did some parts of her unzipped jacket. She tried her best to keep up with Louis but something tells her that she's unsuccessful, the guy is an athlete!

"Lou! Slow down, will you!?" She yelled. Louis always seemed to have a way with taking her breath out. The thought came out weirdly so Taylor decided to shake it out of her head.

Instead of slowing down, Louis ran faster, laughing like a maniac. "Hurry up, slowpoke!" He yelled behind, looking behind him. Taylor is still being dragged to God knows where.

"God, Lou! Slow down!" Taylor yelled but she knew Louis wasn't listening. Where are they going? She didn't know. She trusted Louis enough, she can follow him even if he's leading her to hell. It didn't matter. What matter is that she's freaking tired already. She was cold, dizzy and tired.

"Okay, stop now... please." Taylor breathed. She was running out of breath, she felt like her heart couldn't keep up anymore. She felt dizzy, and really exhausted. "Lou, please... I am not joking anymore!"

Louis took a moment to look at her. His maniacal and annoying face became concerned and uneasy. He quickly caught his breath but Taylor couldn't. Her breathing was uneven and she didn't know why.

"God, I'm sorry. Are-Are you okay? I mean, T-Tay I am sorry. I didn't, I didn't know if there was something wrong with you. Or, is there something wrong, something wrong with you? I-I m-mean-" Louis don't usually stutter, only when he's nervous and now it's clear to Taylor that he is.

Taylor was about to respond when her stomach suddenly flipped upside-down. And then suddenly, she was spewing out the orange-ish yellow food she just ate. She felt much worse, cold sweat drifted down her forehead and dizziness swung around her head.

Louis jumped back before she did so, and she was thankful for that. Although after a while, Louis walked near her and rubbed circles around her back.

"There, Tay... I wish I know what to do." Louis said.

She leaned down on the ground, her face held low and her hands on her knee caps. She was still vomiting after ten seconds tops but the rubs of Louis' hand around her back made her feel a little better.

"There, there, Red Princess..."

"I'm-I'm-I'm not a kid-L-Lou." Taylor managed in-between her vomits.

"There, there..." Louis still continued. Taylor rolled her eyes. _You better thank God, I am vomiting right now, Louis._ She thought.

"Oh, there... there goes the French fries. Hmm, pity. Those potatoes got plucked from the ground, bought from the freshest markets, carefully preserved in the factories then sold to international fast-food ch--"

Taylor found a way to elbow Louis who stopped instantly. "Not.. helping!" And after a few seconds, she finally stopped vomiting. _Thank God._ Her mouth tasted so sour she spit the rest of it.

Louis offered his handkerchief but Taylor refused. She gestured a 'no' with her hand open wide. Then she grabbed her handkerchief and wiped her mouth with it.

She flinched, a little disgusted when she saw the yellowish-orange gooey liquid on the grass near the sidewalks. "Ugh, seriously?!" Taylor muttered in exasperation.

Louis just leaned on a car parked near the sidewalk with his arms crossed, "But seriously, are you alright?"

Taylor wondered if she's really alright, first her anxiety attacks, now her easy tiredness. What's next? Now, she's very dizzy... it couldn't be possible that her stamina couldn't take that simple run. Louis didn't even break a sweat while she was sweating so badly.

"Yeah-I'm fine." She lied. She doesn't feel fine at all. But, the things she's feeling now wear off easily. They'll be gone in a couple of minutes.

Louis' nose wrinkled. "Liar." He mumbled and touched Taylor's neck and face with both hands. "Your sweat is too cold." 

"I think, I know that." She replied.

"Which means to say, you're not really alright. God, I hate it when you lie." He groaned, he held Taylor's chin up and wiped her sweat with his handkerchief. As she expected, Louis' hanky smelled like his perfume, gentleman-like and very classy. "There, we're good." He smiled and hugged Taylor again.

Louis sighed, his hug wasn't tight anymore, it was just right for Taylor. Since she had been feeling cold since she went out, his warmth made it better. "You have no idea, how you scared me there." He breathed in relief.

Taylor could scarcely believe it, Louis didn't even look worried for moment. "Yeah, you were scared? All I remember was you talking about how much of a waste were the potatoes." She replied sarcastically then Louis broke free from the hug.

"You have no idea. What's going on with you? Honestly, Taylor. You look so bad within just a few hours. I don't even know what the heck is going on with you." Louis held on blank face, he was hiding his true emotions, Taylor read that now in his face but he's still trying. Just fortunately, she memorized him that's why she knew. Now they shared that same, scared mood. They might've covered it in jokes and laughs but the two knew all wasn't well. They both knew that something was up, they just couldn't bear to bring it up.

Taylor looked down. "Trust me, Lou... I don't know either. But I'm fine." She knew the last line wasn't true.

"Since when were these, stuff?" He asked.

Taylor didn't want to say it now, also not here on the sidewalks. Then her mind thought of a simple idea. "Lou, can we just talk about this somewhere inside? I mean, it's freezing. And-"

Louis seemed to like the idea as he grinned instantly. "Coffee shop, right?"

"You're good." She smiled and they both walked to the Café. The two continuously teased each other, trying not to talk about what just happened and just focused on their lives.

Turns out Louis just wanted to try on for the school football team, he didn't know he'd go that far that early. Taylor was definitely proud of Louis him for that. They both made sure they hadn't touched the subjects 'boyfriend' or anything near that.

They kept walking until they found the café Taylor used to spend time in whenever there's a frat party going on and the dorms are empty. The two ordered simple lattes and sat on the table where the two continued their discussion.

It was it, Taylor was going to tell him about some secret she held onto. She trusts Louis enough anyways. He promised to keep it quiet and take that secret to his grave...

"What?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Louis yelled, he slammed his coffee cup on the table and stood up, making a small commotion amongst the few people in the café.

"Shh-Lou, please be quiet." Taylor whispered. That's it, he's never going to be quiet about it, she had told Louis something that she never even told her parents about because it would worry them. Now, he's having trouble calming down.

"CALM DOWN?! NOW HOW IN THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?!" Louis yelled again, he seemed so worried, agitated and confused about everything. His voice disturbed everyone in the shop and within a few seconds, every pair of eyes was on him but Taylor didn't care. All she wanted to do was to calm him down.

"Seriously, Lou. When I found out, I didn't react half as badly as you did." As usual, Taylor's words didn't do any good. But she still kept on trying because she knew he will listen, sooner or later. "Please, calm down." Taylor said, with her hands on her temples.

"Louis, come on. I thought you said you were going to be quiet about this."

Louis' breaths were fast and deep, he was too unfocused. Out of all people, Taylor chose to trust him with it, he didn't need to act like that.

"Look, I know it's a bit too much but jeez calm down-"

"Calm down?! Tay, I can't. How was I supposed to react when I find out that you are _sick?!_ ”

"I am not sick." Taylor said once more. Louis just wouldn't calm down. The manager was going to walk towards them but Taylor's glare made the manager wait a few more minutes.

"Oh really?" Louis said, disbelieving it.

"I am not sick, I'm just-" Taylor paused, she couldn't find the appropriate word for it. "I'm just not well at the moment. There's a difference between the two."

"God, I can't. I mean-Tay, all of a sudden, I found out that-" Louis shook his head, frustrated about everything for the moment.

Taylor stood up and reached for his hand. That was when he started breathing evenly, Taylor was trying to ease his mood.

"Lou, once more, I am not sick. Okay? I should know, I am a Med major." She let go and went back to her seat while Louis followed her lead. He sat back and fiddled with the coffee cup.

Louis fell silent through the next few minutes, people inside the café went on with their lives as though nothing happened.

"Wait, you're a Med major?" Louis asked, breaking the ice.

"Y-Yeah." Taylor answered, fidgeting with the coffee cup as well.

"Funny, thought you would've chosen something about the banking, your family business." Louis said then drank from the cup. Until Taylor knew he had to say something that was bothering him.

"Lou, if you want to say something, you might as well say it now." Taylor said.

"You didn't tell anyone?"

"Not a soul, except for you."

"But, it'll be okay, right?"

"Few months and it'll be. Don't worry about it that much. I survived a life and death accident, remember?" Taylor said and for once, bringing that up wasn't so bad after all. She did have an accident and she almost died because of it, but that was over, done.

"Yeah, with Harry. How could I forget the night I almost lost my two best friends?" Louis said, playing with a teaspoon between his fingers.

Taylor flinched a little but tried not to make it obvious. "Well, whatever. The point is, I can get through this. It's not like a cancer or something worse. It's just the little-thing from the accident.”

"Easily fixed?"

"Easily."

Louis raised an eyebrow with a skeptical face. Taylor knew Louis didn't believe her. If changed positions, she wouldn't believe herself either, that she would be okay.

"Louis, I can assure you, I am not going to die before you do. Promise." Taylor smiled reassuringly and Louis smiled back.

"Yeah, guess that's good enough for me. But I'll be watching you." He gestured the 'I'll be watching you sign' two fingers pointing his eyes and then points his pointing finger at Taylor.

Taylor just laughed and they continued with their conversation.

"So what about your anxiety?" He asked.

She took a sip in her coffee, "That's the one I'm worried about. It's getting a bit worse." Taylor said, remembering the times when she had anxiety attacks.

_She was already seated in the passenger seat, meaning to say but before her mom started driving, she had this feeling of unease. "Mom, can I switch places with Austin?"_

_"Taylor!" Austin snapped, pulling her back to reality._

_"What?"_

_"You're over speeding. You're hitting a hundred!" Her brother said._

_"Whoa, watch out!"_

_Taylor had time to steer the wheel before she hit the car in front._

_"Sorry, Austin.”_

"Okay, I can sit here and talk as long as you want." Louis said, his arms crossed and foot tapping as though he is waiting for Taylor to open up on a certain subject.

Taylor sighed, reading Louis' face. "Is H-Harry... okay?" She had been itching to find out. She hopes he is even though she is not. She hopes he's living his life far away from the memories they had.

Louis sighed as well. "Bad... not as bad as you though, he's just low-tempered these days.”

Now Taylor felt guilty. Her eyes narrowed and her cheeks shook, "He hates me, right?" Of course Harry would hate her. He came back and said sorry, he swallowed his pride in simply doing that but Taylor's mind was already made up.

Louis stared at her earnestly. "More like he hates himself. _He was such an idiot for leaving you alone._ " He said, Taylor didn't know if she should agree with it. " _But you are as stupid when you let him walk away._ "

Taylor looked down at her cold latte.

"Guess I am. But don't think I haven't regretted it 'cause I do."

"Do you think he doesn't? Trust me, he never had a good night sleep after you and him. He might be up and daisy during the day but at night, you wouldn't believe him." Louis said.

Taylor was silenced by Louis' words. She always thought Harry would go through his life normally because that's what the others did. He seemed to be leading a happy life, Taylor would know, sometimes she sees his pictures in the social media. Quite the photographer he is, and Taylor would've felt better if Harry is okay but now Louis is telling her otherwise.

"What?" Louis asked calmly. "Do you expect him to move on, go to school, party, make friends, have girlfriends like a normal lad would? No, as far as I am concerned he puts all his spare time in sleeping. Or at least trying to. Same as you, I swear, you two are turning to zombies."

"I wish he would move on." Taylor said, she knew very clearly that she and Harry could never be together anymore so why bother wishing for them to be back when she could ask for him to move on?

"How could you do that?! Taylor, you two could get together again if you wanted but why are you doing this?!" Louis seemed to be distressed about everything Taylor just said.

"Even if we get together again, it won't be the same. Do you think either of us can handle a long distance relationship? We barely handled the pressure last time. Lou, we can't be together again." Taylor said seriously. The words felt like knives being pulled out from her tongue, causing it to bleed but it felt much better.

"If you're so sure, you wouldn't mind the two of you being friends, right?"

Taylor stared at Louis for a moment. His face is serious, no doubt but it seemed like it's testing her, daring her to do what he said she should.

"I won't mind if he doesn't. But now, no. It's still too fresh." She said then looked out the glass.

Outside was a world cold and dark, the only thing that would light your way is the faint moonlight and the flickering streetlights. The nights are not getting warmer, winter is ahead of them. Another year is passing for her, she'll be eighteen soon.

"I remember the times. Everything was great back then." Taylor said, she didn't mind how she was about to open up to Louis. She didn't mind him knowing about everything. "You, Harry, the lads, the other girls, my brother... us, nothing too complicated."

"Yeah, those were the times. But are really feeling fine?"

Taylor groaned in exasperation. "I'm good. Ugh, Lou, when are you going to believe when I say I am?"

"You can't blame me for being worried. How would you react if you found out I got a problem with my blood?" Louis is now calm yet fear was still visible in his face.

Taylor thought he had a point. She couldn't blame Louis for reacting like that. "Guess I'd freak out, be annoyed for not telling me earlier."

"Exactly! You're killing me, you know that?" Louis slammed his elbows on the table, his hands on his head, fingers pulling out his hair.

"When are you going to learn to listen? Just quit talking about dying. It's too bloody early for that. I might not be in a very good health condition right now but, I can assure you, I am not going to die." Taylor hissed the last statement.

"You better not die, or I'll kill you." Louis mumbled in a grumpy way. His voice low and sounds more of a growl.

Yet, Taylor laughed again. "Now how would you be able to do that?"

"I'd be the one to get you to heaven, psshh, blonde." He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You can't do that unless you die first, brunet." Taylor scoffed and rolled her eyes as well.

"Shut-up, American."

"You shut-up, British."

"Oh come on, who here would know I am British at first sight?" Louis said, trying hard to hide his accent but somehow unsuccessful.

Taylor laughed, "Everyone around here." She imitated his 'British' accent though it sucked.

"God, you're not good at this." Louis said.

"And you think you are?"

"Fine, if we're going to continue this nonsense argle-bargle, we might as well leave these old folks in silence." Louis said, gulping the rest of his latte and stood up.

Taylor couldn't understand what Louis just said, she supposed it was about their quarrelling. "Argle- what?"

Louis smiled and put his jean jacket on. "It's a British-English thing you, American won't understand." He said, making his tone sorry about Taylor being American. "Pity, now come on!"

Taylor drank the rest of her coffee and followed Louis as they went out of the café. _Back to the cold, dark world._

"Goodbye lovely folks! We shall meet again!" Louis yelled as they made their way out. Taylor was starting to wonder if he's drunk but it was only a latte. Then she remembered Louis is just like that.

The two walked silently on their way back to the dorm, Taylor even noticed her vomit but she didn't grab a good look at it. She'd rather not, thank you very much.

"I wonder what would be your reaction if you saw Harry again." Louis said, looking up at the sky. Taylor didn't know if he was wondering or planning or just plain delusional at the moment.

Taylor didn't reply. She would appreciate it if they won't see each other in a long time. By then, maybe the guilt will wash away. But how? She just left the lad who waited a year for him, the one who was quietly hoping for her to notice him, the one who used his natural charms to make her fall for him, the one who gave her his favorite paper-airplane necklace, the one who left her but came back... and she said it was too late.

"Lou, not ready for it." She admitted.

"Even more interesting, how would he react if he saw you again?" Louis didn't seem like he was listening at all. He was too busy looking up at his mind's chimera.

"Poker face, probably." She mumbled. In fact, she wouldn't mind if Harry saw her and acted like nothing, it doesn't matter. They're over. And she wished she could believe the thought, even if she said it to herself a thousand times.

"What if he found out about your.. um-as you liked to call it- 'little problem from the accident'?" Louis imitated the air quotes hand gesture and looked at Taylor.

"You promised." She replied.

There was no way she'd let Louis tell Harry about it. Besides, would he even care?

"Uhuh, I did. And as I said, I am taking that secret to my grave." Louis said with a reassuring smile. "Now let's get you back to your dorm room."

–

"Promise, I'll keep in touch, Red Princess." Louis said and kissed her on the forehead. This might be the last time she could see her in a while. She'll miss him, like she always does.

"Bye, Peter Pan." She whispered. "I'll miss you."

"Aww," Louis cooed in the teasing form. "But yeah, I'll miss you." He said then started walking away. Before going down the stairs by the end of the hallway, he faced Taylor once more. "Oh, and try not to get sick while I'm gone." He added with a maniacal grin.

Taylor ran to him and pulled him in a tight embrace. "I'll miss you." She said, tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes. She didn't want to get all emotional about it but well, it's Louis.

"God, are you tryna make me cry?" Louis said, Taylor could hear the hint that he was about to do so as well.

"I just-" Taylor pulled away from the hug.

"Stay out of trouble, Pan."

"I will. Love you." He smirked then ran down.

Taylor sighed, she wouldn't see those sea-green eyes and messy brown hair for a while. Unless he decides to visit but no one really knows how his mind works. She went back to her dorm room, little had she noticed it was already three am, the day had been so long she easily drifted to sleep.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

There were flashes before each memory.

The machines were beeping, at least second by second, other than that, the room was quiet. Taylor couldn't handle it but her eyes are closed and she could barely move. All she can do was listen. The moment she tried moving her fingers, she felt the shock surging through her body, it was painful and she can't even scream for it.

She focused on her own heartbeat and breathing. What else could she do but count the time?

She just played the thoughts inside her head. There was this light, and the tire screech and the brakes and... Harry. How was he?

Taylor found out she wasn't the only one in the room. There was a manly low groan from somewhere at her side. It couldn't be anybody else. She opened her eyes, and seen darkness. The room was white but the light is too dim. She heard the machine beeping much faster.

Her eyes darted to her left side, there, Harry's head was on his hands, laying on the bed. He was soundly asleep, facing her but his eyes were closed. Taylor smiled slightly and just let him be.

There wasn't a point waking him up, Taylor didn't want to. She noticed his arm was casted… the accident. Could be worse, they almost died but they didn't. Taylor tried to sit up, glad to know with a little flinching, she managed.

Her skin was pale, some parts bruised and wounded. Her head hurts, and there was also something that itches near her stomach. She looked down and pulled the hospital clothes up to her stomach, she was slightly horrified at the sight, stitches... fresh ones.

"Perfect." She mumbled and pushed the hospital clothes down. Then she felt a little woozy so she lied back down. For minutes, she just stared at ceiling, constantly looking at Harry.

How long had they been here? Do her parents know? No, they can't. They shouldn't know about this. Her mom would have a heart attack, what would her dad say? They need to keep it quiet.

It was only hours after that when Harry woke up. It was still dark inside the room and it might've been because of the navy-blue curtains and closed room.

There were dark shades of circles around his eyes, his skin was going to the shade of pale-gray and he seemed restless. Not to mention the bandaged wound on his chin.

"Are you okay?" Taylor asked. She didn't know what else to say. It was a ridiculous question but she said it anyways.

Harry stood up and looked down, he didn't even meet Taylor's eyes.

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"It was an accident, Harry." She said, a part of her knew Harry wouldn't listen. She just had the first brush of being alive from the accident, now she couldn't even concentrate. Her mind was filled with worry, and most of it aren't for herself.

"I caused it, remember?" Harry said, his accent much more visible but his voice was cracking. Tears streamed down his face in an instant, he never looked up. "I almost--"

"Harry, don't." Taylor said, holding herself back from standing up. She wanted to comfort Harry, hug him tight and never let go. But in this state, she can't. She knows she'll only end up making their injuries worse.

"Please..." she breathed out. "just don't."

Harry didn't reply. She decided to let him be because maybe he needed the silence. But then, a few seconds later, Taylor heard sobs coming from Harry. 

Taylor's mind went off the hook, it rang in alarm and yet, she can't even react. All she can sense was the pain inside her head and her throbbing chest. Her eyes are starting to get pricked by tears she was trying to hold back. _Please don't, Harry._

He was her light, he was the sun that kept her smiling all the time. That one voice who kept making jokes even in the worst times. It killed her to know that she can't do that for him... and she was the reason why he is crying.

"Harry, look, it's not that bad--" Taylor knew she was lying. Her whole body was aching, her stitches were painful... but nothing compared to her head and chest as she watches Harry cry that way.

He kept wiping the tears with his own hands, Taylor could only see him from the side but the view is quite enough.

"Not that bad?" Harry finally faced her, biting his lower lip. His face is red, you could barely see his color. Even his bright green eyes turned black because of the lack of lighting.

"TAYLOR, YOU ALMOST DIED!" He growled.

Taylor flinched a little. She was more than terrified right now, not because Harry is almost shouting at her, but the fact that he changed so easily because of one accident. It seemed to affect everything about him. Her heart raced and her hands shook badly. She tried as much to hide it from Harry because he was directly staring at her.

She sighed, "I'm alive, so are you. We just went from hell and back. And--"

"You almost died, Tay. What was I supposed to do if I lost you? What was--" Just then, Harry broke down. He went on his knees then down on the floor, his right arm slightly stopped the fall but still he did. He gulped, staring straight at the machines. Then cried...

"I--I c-can't --" Harry said in between his sobs.

His tears streaming down so quickly Taylor was about to faint. It weakened her so much she felt like someone was pulling the life force out of her. The pain was so strong her will was in no control of her own actions. Tears fell down from Taylor's electric blue eyes, she couldn't hold it back. She could never hold it back in a situation like this. Harry...

Taylor wiped the tears with her hands. Every move she made caused pain but she didn't feel it too much. Harry couldn't see her crying, and she wanted it that way.

"Harry, you're letting it get in your head. Don't." Taylor whispered, her head practically bowed. 

"Please." She knew she was begging too much but somehow it didn't have that effect.

She reached for Harry's hand, regardless of the tubes attached to her right hand. Slowly, gently, she pulled Harry up, he just followed her lead. Taylor was glad he let her.

"Harry, look at me." Taylor said.

Harry's face still isn't facing hers. She sighed, knowing Harry doesn't want to. He gulped, still with the tears falling from his once bright eyes. Only slower this time.

The time seemed to slow down, and focused at the moment. A tiny slice of sunlight peeked through the gap between the navy-blue curtains and the metal frames, giving light to Taylor's eyes. Her electric blue lit up and brightened, her tears made it sparkle but the boy reflecting from her eyes was the one who made it shine. He was alive, she is alive. They're both okay, and that's everything she could ask for. 

From her dry pale lips, a slight smile cracked as she was staring at Harry. She couldn't hold back her tears for seeing him cry but she couldn't stop herself from smiling. She just felt like she needed it so hard right now, for the both of them.

Harry finally looked at her. 

A slight crease formed on his forehead and his face all puzzled as though asking "Why?"

Taylor sniffled and wiped her tears. "I promise, you and I will be alright." She smiled again, trying so hard to keep it.

"Stop crying." She said, her voice gentle and unbelievably calm.

She reached out and held his face, her pale white fingers on his cheeks. They are now staring eyes to eyes, straight.

"I'm so sorry." Harry said once more.

"Don't be." She replied. "I just need to ask you one thing."

"What?" He asked, a face that says he would do anything Taylor would ask right now.

Taylor bit her lower lip before answering, "Don't tell this to anyone, please. No one has to know."

He was shaking, she could feel the vibration coursing through her cold and shivery arms. She was freezing, but Harry's warmth radiated enough for her to hide it.

Harry shook even harder. It was easy to read his expression, Taylor's stomach churned upside down.

"Y-You told my parents, didn't you?" She said with a quiet voice.

Harry nodded.

"Ugh. A-Anyone else?"

Harry shook his head "no"

"Please just don't tell anyone else. Okay?" Taylor begged once again.

A half smile came out from his pink lips, his dimples shown again and despite every damage that had been done to his face by the accident, his eyes had finally shown the spark Taylor had been wanting to see. Somehow that made her feel better.

"Promise." He said, Taylor recognized the cheer again. That made her sigh in relief.

Without hesitation, without a slight doubt, Taylor quickly wrapped her arms around Harry, enjoyed the rhythm of his breathing and his warmth for a while.

"I love you, Harry." Taylor said. 

"I love you, Tay." He whispered, his chin buried in her blonde hair and pale shoulder.

Once Taylor broke loose from the embrace, she went back on leaning on the pillows again. She observed Harry's face, creased, tired, thin and dark as though he hadn't slept and eaten in days. 

"How long have we been here?" Taylor asked.

"Erm, m-maybe t-two weeks tops? I think we just missed Halloween, love." He replied, scratching the back of his head.

"And how long have you slept the entire time?" She asked.

Harry's face was so easily read, Taylor knew exactly the answer. She just thought she needed to hear it directly from him. "Harry."

"U-uh... a-about eight h-hours." 

Taylor groaned. "Harry, you need to sleep." She said, a tad of strictness visible.

"It's alright, really. I am not that—"

"Sleep." Taylor said. 

Harry smiled and went to the sofa. He lied down, facing Taylor with a dimpled smile on his face. She was facing him as well. She made sure Harry closed his eyes first before shutting hers too. Her eyelids fell down without even a try, she felt tired and sleepy all of a sudden.

After a couple of minutes.

_Sleep... sleep. Well, Taylor you got to sleep sometime. I thought you were already sleepy._

Taylor groaned literally. She just can't shut her mind right. She hated not being able to fall asleep when she needed it so badly. Besides, she can already hear-- wait... she opened her eyes and looked straight, Harry seemed soundly asleep.

But then he slowly opened his eyes at the same time a mischievous smile formed on his face.

"Can't sleep too, love?" He joked. After crying, being so dramatic earlier, Harry switched to his weird, cheery side Taylor always loved.

Taylor giggled. "Go to sleep."

"I can't, Miss Swift." Harry replied, still with the mischievous face. He stood up, kissed Taylor on the cheek and showed her a silver item in his hand, the paper airplane necklace. Somehow, Taylor didn't remember she didn't have that around her neck. "They took it off you but I reckon I could out it back now."

Taylor sat up and he put it on her. He sat beside her and they stayed up and chatted for a while. They tried joking but the mood still was heavy and dark, Taylor had to switch and avert it from getting to the accident. She noticed how Harry's eyes would drop, how he would be quiet. She had to leave that subject alone.

Finally, both felt the need to rest. But instead of lying on the sofa, Harry fell asleep right beside Taylor, his warm arms snuck around her as though protecting her from the cold night and everything else in the world. Taylor didn't know what would happen after this but she figured she might set everything aside for now and live in the moment. The one perfect moment she is living right now is the one thing she would treasure and keep.

A month after the incident, Taylor had told her parents all about the accident. Thankfully, they didn't blame Harry but they made sure there was some distance between them. For a couple of day, Taylor had been in quarantine in her own home. Her friends could still visit though Harry doesn't. She wonders often where he was but she didn't like to think about it that much.

And yet another normal, snowy day. Taylor was looking out her window, watching the snow fall down, listening to music with her earphones plugged in her ears, and stroked the fur of her cat on her lap. She sang along the few songs as she waited for the hours to go by.

For a second, she thought she heard someone knocking on her door, she glanced at it for a while then went back to the window since she didn't hear another knock.

Then she heard one again. She groaned, she put down Meredith on the floor then made her way to the door. She opened it and who else could she see but the two most annoying brothers in the whole world, one is her real brother and one is her make-believe brother, Austin and Louis.

Louis had the more annoying grin as he looked at Taylor from head to toe. She was wearing a gray sweater and blue pajamas, barefoot. Her hair was a blonde brush of mess. "Ho ho, bet you didn't expect me to come.

"Nahh. Lou, I got used to seeing her like this. Trust me, this isn't the worst." Austin mumbled.

"How are ya, Red Princess?" Louis asked, while Austin groaned, mumbling stuff under her breath. Louis turned to him with a smile "She might be your sister, but she's my Red Princess, no need to mumble American stuff and football insults. I heard them."

Austin looked dumbfounded but eventually high fived Louis. "You're good, dude."

"You have no idea." Taylor said. "By the way, what are you doing here?" She asked, referring to Louis.

"Checking up on you, Captain Harold's orders. If you still didn't know, he's in Cheshire right now, arranging some college stuff." Louis said.

Finally! There was an answer to Harry's absence. He could've just told her though, why did he need Louis to tell her?

"Also, he said he wasn't able to tell you because it was all rushed." He smiled.

"So can't the dude call at least? My sister had been locked in this house and it's his faul--"

Taylor glared at Austin

"I'm just concerned, alright? You can't even go anywhere from school to back. Seriously, the--" Austin was reaching the level Louis shouldn't know about.

"Austin." Taylor snapped. "Don't go there." She warned.

Upon hearing it all, Louis' face turned serious and stared at Taylor.

"F-Fine, I'll leave the two of you alone." Austin said, walking away. Taylor was going to say something in protest since she didn't want to be left alone with Louis right now, the lad is an interrogator, she couldn't lie to him no matter how good she is. But then Austin was already inside his room, never bothering to look back.

Taylor groaned as her eyes came back to the serious-looking Tomlinson. "God, don't look at me like that!" She said, irritated and annoyed.

"Aren't you even going to invite me in?" Louis asked with a slight smile.

"No."

"Yes, you are." Louis quickly but gently pushed her inside as he walked in. He closed the door behind him and leaned on it with an incredulous look on his face.

Taylor sat on her bed, waiting for Louis to say something though she was also hoping he wouldn't.

"I missed you." Louis said, just to break the tension.

Taylor scoffed.

Taylor's grey cat, Meredith, crawled to Louis' feet and purred. "Oh look, she missed me too." He lifted up Meredith but he was holding it by the feet.

"That's not how you carry her!" Taylor yelled as Louis accidentally dropped Meredith.

"Don't tell me that's not how you drop her too." Louis chuckled. "Crazy cat lady. You're perfect for curly cat boy."

Things just fell into the uncomfortable silence.

"At least now, you're okay. No sign of the accident." Louis said, pulling the rolling offices chair and sat on it, constantly kicking his feet to go place from place inside Taylor's bedroom.

Taylor remained quiet.

"Harry, well.. He's alright too. Told us about the accident and left in such a scurry he was gone by the blink of an eye." Louis kicked the floor as the chair rolled to the other room connected to Taylor's. It was the room with all of her musical instruments and other hobbies.

Something crashed and fell down which Taylor was freaked about. The sound was of strings and wood. _My guitars..._ She quickly stood up and made her way to the other room where Louis was putting things back to order.

"Sorry, Red Princess."

"Just leave it." Taylor said yet arranged the guitars Louis hit with the chair, those were her favorites but she let it slide. If it was another person, she'd be furious, right now, she's not in the mood for it.

Louis started strolling about the room, then he finally settled on the chair facing the grand piano. He played well while talking to Taylor.

"How are you these days?" He asked.

Taylor let the relaxing melody get on her nerves, the simple song Louis always plays but never told her who composed or what composition.

"Not too good. I couldn't sleep well that much." She answered. There was no point in lying anyways.

"Least you're still alright. Anyways, whatcha gonna do on your birthday? Which, by the way is a week from now." Louis smiled, continuously playing the piano.

She hadn't thought about it. Taylor had almost forgotten about her birthday. "Uhh, I don't know." she shrugged, sitting beside Louis. Louis then changed the melody and the song to the one they play usually together

"What do you mean? It's your birthday! You are turning eighteen!" Louis said.

"Really? I am not that interested in it."

"Yeah, after eleven days, it'll be your birthday. Yeesh. We're not getting any younger and it sucks." Louis complained then left the chair. Taylor, on the other hand continued playing songs that suddenly comes to her head.

Louis, for the first time fell silent. After a couple of minutes, he said, "Has Harry even called you up?"

Taylor shook her head. "No, honestly, it's starting to piss me off but I try to understand." She answered, genuine of which thoughts come to her mind. 

"I'd be pissed off too. Has it been a week? If I was your boyfriend I'd call you hour after hour, maybe minutes." Louis kidded but somehow, he was serious.

Taylor laughed, she knew that it was a joke but there was more to it. It's true, Harry hadn't called in days. 

"He must've been real busy." Taylor said not sure if she was in denial or speaking her mind.

"May I remind you that it isn't wise to be so in-love, you let everything slide." Louis rolled his eyes.

Taylor smiled, "May I remind you that this is Harry, your best friend is who we're talking about."

"Well, he should've called at least. If I see him, I'll give him a sweet punch in the nose. You can't just--"

"Can you blame him? After the accident, he had been almost scared to even show up to my parents. He probably just wanted some distance." She replied, trying to focus on the black and white piano keys.

She remembered how Harry didn't want to talk too much, how he avoided going anywhere near Taylor's parents, he just... stopped doing the few usual things that involved her parents.

"Yeah, he's scared." She added.

"Of course he is, he just doesn't show it. He seemed like an upsy-daisy lad, no? He has his moments though." Louis said. "Now, shall we focus on your birthday. I'm sure Harry would be here in time for that."

"Fine. Whatever goes." Taylor stopped playing the piano and sat in awkward silence. Louis was staring at her, and she was staring at Louis. She hated being clueless in reading people's faces.

"Stop staring. It's freaky, you know that?" Taylor said.

Louis smiled and walked outside. He left the joint room and Taylor's room. Once outside the door his smile widened, saying "Wait, got another blond to take care of. I'll be back."

After a few minutes, she heard voices of three boys, one of her brother's, one is Louis and one is...

"I got that blond hair, spiked up in sandy style, and I got those blue eyes, ocean thing, and it's storm-like! Is Taylor hooomeee? Is Taylor hooomeee?" Niall sang then came bursting through her door. He was followed by Austin and Louis. The tune was rather familiar in the style Niall sang it yet Taylor didn't think about it that much.

"Niall, what are you—"

The blond lad gave her a hug.

"Hey! I missed you!!" Niall sang again but in a tune Taylor guessed he just made up.

"Seriously, Tay... Do I have to direct your friends to your room every time? I dunno why they get lost in our house." Austin groaned.

Niall and Louis both laughed. "We loved you too, Aussie..." Niall said, Taylor knew it made his brother a bit uncomfortable but somehow they are used to this weirdness.

"Yes, you need to direct them here. Last time, they ended up in mom and dad's room." Taylor replied to Austin. Then she turned to Niall. "What are you doing here, Niall?" She asked with a half-smile.

"Almost your birthday... We'll have a blast no matter how white or snowy." Niall smiled as well.

"We'll do everything, the cakes, balloonsewnd bwomay gaawd welt mweh gwow wlou!" Niall continued muttering gibberish while Louis covers his mouth with his palm.

"Too much spoils, _Neil._ " Louis chuckled nervously. "Don't spill it out!" He added through gritted teeth then let Niall go.

Though Taylor heard enough. She giggled. "Aww, thanks Niall!!" She cooed then hugged Niall while Louis and Austin were laughing."

Louis mouthed the words _"I am telling Harry."_

Taylor replied, mouthing the words, _"Shut-up!"_

Austin and Louis high-fived as Taylor let go of Niall.

"I'm telling Harry too." Austin added.

She rolled her eyes, "God, you guys are so annoying. Tell Harry if you are even able to reach him." she said, actually speaking her mind. There was slight harshness in her voice and the boys surely heard it. She noticed it too soon when three pairs of eyes are on her. "It's a joke, guys. Don't take it seriously." she added.

"No, I'm actually telling. Come December thirteenth, and I will." Louis said. Austin ignored him while Niall just laughed it off.

He grinned even broadly and put his arm over Taylor's shoulder. "You do know, he will." he chuckled, the Irishman's voice seemed to be lower. _How come I just noticed?!_

"What are you guys up to?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Obviously planning a birthday party. Isn't it obvious?" Austin asked and groaned. "How can you be clueless with them? They're so obvious."

Niall and Louis, as though on cue glared madly at Austin making it seem like they are going to beat the hell out of Austin. But Taylor was already so used to it she just ignored them. "How many times have you said 'obvious', by the way?" Louis asked. "Never mind. Suppose you'll know a lot. I'll leave the planning to you. It'll be a great surprise."

Taylor's nose wrinkled, "I doubt it, all of you are planning it right in front of me." She said with a snide remark she practically muttered under her breath and was afraid to say it again.

Despite of the remark, Louis was still smiling. He laughed and said, "Oh trust me, it'll be a surprise.”

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

_"Yes, love. I promise I'll be there." Harry said. "I'm sorry I haven't called or even texted. Just been busy."_

_"It's okay. And if you can't go, it's fine. Just don't promise if you're unsure."_

_"No, love. I'm sure. I'll go. Promise." Harry reassured._

_"Okay, bye Harry. I love you, see you soon."_

_"I love you too, babe. Wait for me "_

Live music plays, there is food at every table, the lights flash wildly as it goes with the beat of the music. Liam, one of Taylor's brunet friends was the DJ for tonight. Zayn, the dark-haired was the main singer. And Niall, well, he was making sure he tasted every food on the table. Taylor's friends were all there, from the red-haired Abigail to the blonde Emma. After blowing off the candles, the party livened up. It was Taylor's eighteenth birthday.

Even if it was her birthday, there was another life of the party... Louis William Tomlinson.

He dances around the room, sings through songs and jokes about every once in a while. What could a party be without him?

Taylor rolled her eyes, smiling as Louis was dancing through a pop song she probably heard of. "Dance, Red Princess, it's your bloody birthday!" Louis pulled her hand and but she pulled it back.

She wasn't exactly in the best mood for it. But then Louis grinned even wider as her friends, Abigail and Selena, pushed her to him. All of them knew that Louis don't have _that_ intention on Taylor so it was alright.

Louis moved his lips near her ears. "Trust me, love. Or do you want them to notice?" He quickly backed away then pulled Taylor once more. Now, she didn't resist.

Louis and Taylor danced. No actual moves, just the constant spins and swaying around. She didn't like dancing around people but this one was fun. She forgot about everything. Somehow, that was the best thing Louis had done for her today, not the party, not the performances, not the music, his presence was enough and then he added the dance.

The music ended and Taylor ended up sitting on the staircase, trying to catch her breath while drinking some punch. Niall was with her, Louis was off somewhere in the house but she didn't mind. Niall is a good company anyways.

He held a plateful of food which Taylor didn't bother getting any. It's just a tricky thing that no one ever dares to get from Niall's plate. No one told her why she shouldn't, they just told her not to. Harry even once said 'no one lived to tell the tale', yet she knew that it was a bit of exaggeration.

"What a night." Niall said, then munched through the chicken leg he as holding. "Happy eighteenth birthday, by the way." He said, his Irish accent visible.

"Thanks. Thanks for the party guys, it's unbelievable." She thanked Niall as they continued with their random conversation.

"It still didn't top my birthday in Nando's. Didn't know if it was possible." Niall smiled.

"Aww, anything for you, Nialler. We can pull a few strings for it." 

Niall continued eating as they watched the party going. "So, Harry... where is he?"

"Aren't you supposed to know that?" Taylor asked. If there was someone or some people who would know Harry's whereabouts, it's them.

Niall scratched his head. "The thing is, he didn't tell us anything. Though he said, he'd come."

"Told him not to promise if he couldn't." She replied then leaned her back on the stairs. It didn't matter how uncomfortable, she just wanted to rest her head somewhere.

"Don't worry, Tay. He'll be here. The lad would do anything to make a promise come true." Niall reassured, Taylor was just hoping he's right.

Random thoughts filled in her head. He'd probably come, he probably won't, he'll apologize with a call or in personal, or he won't do it at all... here it is another roadblock.

Her relationship with Harry hadn't been easy. Problems often came, blocking their way and they didn't seem to end. Their love wasn't the strong type either, it was a ticking time-bomb, a little movement would set it off. Both of them moved with eyes watching them... the pressure was caused by the constant whispers around them in some places and other people. They shouldn't care but they messed with it so badly. Taylor didn't even know why the attention is on them.

It added up when Harry and her got into the accident. That is when Harry showed his fears, showed how scared he was. He rarely showed himself up to her parents. All of these, they were the changeover of Taylor's nightmares to reality.

Niall snapped his fingers in front of Taylor's eyes. "Deep in thought, are you?" She got pulled back to reality.

She slightly chuckled. "Yeah, sorry."

"It's fine. And ohhh!!" Niall groaned out loud as Louis was walking nearer to their direction. "He'll steal you again, won't that guy stop?" He kidded in an irritated tone and it was enough to make Taylor laugh.

As expected, Louis opened his palm to Taylor, his position partially bent and kneeling. "May I snatch her away from you for a while? Red Princess has an appointment." He asked in a genuinely gentleman's voice.

Niall crossed his arms like kid. "I don't see your proof and documents, come back when you have them." He said ironically, in a very child-like way.

Louis raised an eyebrow, his sea-green eyes glistening in the light.

"Document, you say?" He took out his phone and showed it to Niall.

Taylor was going to sneak a peek yet Louis' hand blocked her face, making it face the other side.

"No, adult, let the kids talk. This is child business." Louis said, pulling both his hands back to him.

Niall seemed like he just saw his celebrity idol. "Whoa." He and Louis smiled as he gestured for Taylor to come to Louis.

"See ya later. The appointment was important after all."

Louis ruffled and messed with Niall's hair. "You did great, kiddo. Wise decision." The two launched which made Taylor feel like she was out of place since she had no idea what the two were talking about.

Louis directed her upstairs, to her bedroom. _Okay, this just got more uncomfortable._

"Lou, why are we--"

He didn't answer, and said instead, "Shh, come on, it'll be a couple of minutes before they notice we're gone."

"What?!"

"Shhh, it'll be quick." Louis said.

That confused Taylor even more. "What the--"

Louis opened her bedroom door and led her inside. She sat on her bed, not knowing what the hell to think about.

"Lou, I don't really know why we have to go--"

Taylor stopped when Louis opens his palm facing her, while his face looking at the floor as he leans on the door. 

_What the hell is going on?!_

"We're not doing anything wrong, right?" He asked.

"No. B-But why--"

"Okay," Louis looked up. "Well, I'll leave you alone." His lips curled upward then left the room.

Taylor didn't know if it's a prank or something else but it left her mind in scrambles of confusion. For a few seconds, she was wondering why she needed to be in her room.

"Quite a party you have here, love.”

Taylor glanced at the direction from her other room. Harry stood there, leaning on the entrance to the other room.

He was smiling, he seemed tired and weary. Taylor let out a smile and walked towards Harry.

"I thought you couldn't come." She smiled.

"I didn't say that. But I promised, didn't I?" He said, Taylor noticed his face had something like cream or icing. It smelled definitely like vanilla icing. Even Harry's clothes smell like they're fresh out of the oven.

Taylor's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Have you been--baking?" That sounded weird when it came out as words.

"Yes." Harry answered then took out a box with a red ribbon on it. "Sorry, didn't have time to wrap it. Happy Birthday."

Taylor set aside the box on the nearest desk and hugged Harry. Honestly, she thought he wouldn't come, she was open to that possibility. To think yesterday Harry was still in Cheshire and now he is here. He wasn't exactly late, in fact to Taylor, he showed up just in time.

"I'm sorry, love. . I really am. I'm sorry I haven't--" he stopped and leaned his chin on Taylor's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Taylor heard the slight sob that came out of Harry's words. He was about to cry again, Taylor didn't to see that all over again. "Harry... it's okay. Trust me."

Harry let go then stared at her for a while. His eyes were glimmering but it wasn't in the good way, it was because of the tears brimming in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Taylor chuckled to lighten up the mood. "How many times do I have to tell you, it's okay."

Somehow, it worked. "Alright, I'll stop. I just missed you, I guess." Harry said with a smile.

He then leaned forward and gave Taylor a kiss. Taylor just followed his lead until he pulled away. Harry led her to the terrace where they sat in silence for a while. The party noises can be heard but it was starting to slightly quiet down, minute by minute. Air howled slightly, blowing both their hairs and clothes while the sky is clear with the moon showing up brightly.

"I love you." Harry said with a smirk

"I love you, too." Taylor replied, leaning her head on Harry's shoulder.

There was a slight chuckle that flew out of Harry's mouth. "Your party is dying. I can't let Louis be the only light." 

Taylor laughed. "You can't beat his dance moves though."

"Ha, that's what you think.”

Taylor pretended like she doesn't believe Harry but in fact she does, "We'll see."

"Wanna come downstairs? They'll notice you're gone." Harry joked.

"Yeah."

"Come on, Louis might've had you earlier but I'm still going to have the last dance." He smiled.

The night didn't go badly. Taylor finally saw the old Harry he hadn't seen after the accident... the one would enjoy every moment without a worry, the one who isn't afraid, the one who would do anything and never let fear take over him. This was the Harry she loved.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

You'd think after that, all was well, you'd think that maybe their relationship will get stronger... but it's not what Taylor got. After that, the first few months were okay, but after those few months, things started to get more complicated. She and Harry would fight in little things. Her family is worried about her, and Harry's family about him. It isn't exactly what anyone could just call "normal".

They'd have fights and arguments, usually caused by the time and distance... Taylor didn't like it, but she didn't want it to end.

Though her mind is telling her, eventually it will. Sooner or later...

Until Harry left, without a word, not even a letter... not a decent goodbye... he just-- left. Taylor tried to call or reach out but he never answers... she'd see his car sometimes but he's never stop. Then came the day she felt like she just don't want to cry before she sleeps, she just want to be Taylor again. She loved Harry, but if he wants to go, why would she stop him?

_July..._

It was too early, Taylor didn't need to go now, but she insisted. The rain was falling hard which is a bit of headache for her. She was leaving, she didn't want to be stuck in this place, anyways. She just hated to be here. Everything reminds her of Harry, how he just left... she didn't even got a reason why.

Taylor's family didn't say a word about it, neither did her friends. Louis visits every once in a while, asking her if she could stay a little longer but her mind is made up.

Austin helped Taylor bring down her luggage, she only packed a case and a duffel for the important stuff first, the trip would be a bit long from Nashville to Catskills.

Since she was waiting for her dad to come home first, Taylor sat on the couch nearest to the door, her yellow duffel bag near her while her other luggage was already in the car. She was wearing a dark red shirt, added by a thick black coat, she wore a green bonnet and matched her outfit with dark jeans and short brown boots. It doesn't matter how hot it'll be, she only had focus on the rainy weather.

Louis was on the phone, calling her, trying to change her mind again.

"Come on, Tay. I'll never see you again. I'll miss you." Louis entreated.

"I know, Boobear..." Taylor said, accidentally saying the nickname she hadn't called Louis in a while. "I'll miss you too. But there's just too much in the place."

Louis sighed. "If there was any sign of that--"

"Don't start. Louis, he's still your best mate. Remember that."

"I know, but he had just reached it. Since what? April? I mean--"

Taylor let out an annoyed scoff, "Here I am, trying to forget him. Don't talk about him for now. He didn't even give me an explanation." She replied, trying to keep her tears from falling down. In fact, she just laughed it off.

"I can't really change your mind?" Louis asked.

"I'm sorry. You really can't."

Someone knocked at the door. "Ugh, gotta go, Lou... dad's here." She said as she ended the call.

Taylor stood up and opened the door. Wrong again, it wasn't her father. Stood there before her was the boy she thought she'd never see again, Harry.

Harry was wearing a blue coat and simple clothes, dripping wet. His chocolate brown hair had turned into a darker shade, his face pale and lips turned into a darker color. It was freezing outside, the wind, the rain, how could he withstand it?! His head was bowed with his hands in his pockets, then he looked up.

Taylor's emotions have mixed up inside her, she was confused, surprised, angry and a bit gloomy. She didn't know which feeling should she show.

"Are you insane?!" She yelled. Instead of only anger, her voice came out with concern. "What do you want?" Taylor lowered her voice in frustration. She pulled Harry inside, regardless how wet he is. She didn't care who it was, she didn't care if this was the person she 'unqualifiedly' broke up with.

"Harry, what do you want?" She asked again, getting impatient.

"I-I want... you." He said, "I'm sorry, I've been a mess. I know I've screwed up so badly, I'm sorry."

Taylor didn't react. Her mind is so perplexed right now. He was gone for three months, then he comes back apologizing and asking for another chance. She started backing away on her steps, fearing she might give it to him

"Taylor, please... all I'm asking is a last chance. I'll fix it, I can't-- please."

Taylor looked down and released a sigh, she moved her gaze back to Harry's eyes, despite the rain, she saw the tears back in place.

There is really something about Harry's eyes being filled with tears that always gets Taylor off her guard. Her mind didn't function well, she's afraid of letting him go, yet she's afraid of losing him once she takes him in again.

"Your timing is horrible." Taylor whispered and looked down. Tears started filling her eyes, there was something inside her that felt massive.

"Wh-What? T-Taylor pl-please... I just wanted it to be the way it was before. P-Please." Harry's eyes darted about the house where he saw Taylor's duffel bag. Taylor would rather have him see it than to tell it herself. "Where are you going?" Harry asked in a quiet tone.

"College. It'll come eventually, won't it?" Taylor bit her lip, trying so hard to keep herself from breaking down. She was going to explode, seeing Harry like that?! It wasn't something you could easily do. Her knees went weak and shook, she felt like her whole body will wear down any second from now... then she saw Harry with that look she feared she would see again.

Harry looked more than crestfallen as tears fell down from his eyes. His face was turning red, so much he couldn't conceal it. He was gulping down words he was going to say, he was shaking from the guilt and the cold and he couldn't even out his breathing. Harry grabbed Taylor's hands, he held it tightly and never seemed to want to let go. He looked directly at Taylor's eyes, the green ones... they were brimming with tears, it became a green waterfall of years. His eyes were talking to hers... Taylor had trouble trying to concentrate. _Please! Don't look at me that way! Don't do this!_ Taylor wanted to yell out, she wanted to scream those things at Harry. She wanted for him to leave, he's making it a lot harder! He just won't let her leave... and she has to.

"C-Can you pl-please stay?" Harry asked, though there was little hope in his eyes now.

 _Stay? You're asking me to stay? You left first, remember?_ Taylor thought about saying those things but the lad's teary eyes held her. She didn't know why she always gets off her guard and once she see Harry like this, she felt like she was going to faint.

She just shook her head. "Harry I can't."

"Please. I'm very sorry I wasn't there for you, I'm very sorry I was a coward. I'm very sorry I didn't fight for you when I should have. Please, Taylor I would repeat these words all over again, I would take all of the consequences, just please... give me one last chance." Harry begged, he's tearing up and she knew that.

Don't think about him.

Don't listen.

Don't stare at his eyes.

Too late, she already did that. It was a mistake but she already did. She bit her lip, on the very verge of tears, she took another deep breath and then said, "Harry, I'm sorry too. But I gotta go. We're both on different paths, right now. You'll be in Cheshire and I'll still be here, how'd we make it work? The last time, we tried, didn't we?" Taylor wiped the tears before it even reached her cheeks.

_I can't give him a chance, I can't... this isn't just something I could easily say 'yes' too because I can't. If I did, I'll still leave, in a few weeks, he'll be in Cheshire... we scarcely made it work last time, we couldn't do it again, now that time isn't our only problem but also distance. We can't make this work, it'll be harder than the last time, it'll be much more vulnerable and easily blown off by everyone...we'll end up hurting each other more if we keep this up._

"I'd try. But... if that's what you want, it's alright--" his voice sounded cracked.

"Harry, that doesn't mean that--"

A car honked in front of the house. Taylor knew it was her dad. She grabbed her duffel bag and faced Harry.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I can't stay. I can't... I mean, we're just going to do things over and over again, then what?" Taylor let all slip out of her mouth. "You were one of the best things that had ever happened to me and you'll always be that special, okay? Just try to live on without me, y-you can do that, right?"

Harry's face, his gestures, his eyes, everything about him was protesting about it. "I'll try, love but—"

"You don't really understand, haven't you seen the damage we both caused on ourselves? Harry, you can't keep living this kind of life. You can be free, I'm setting you free. It's not only me who wanted that for you, I'm sure. But who knows? Maybe ten years down the road we'll see each other again, maybe fall in love, maybe not but we just can't continue this now. We'll only cause more damage that hadn't been done before and it might get worse. I love you, I promise I always will... I just need to go. I'm really sorry."

She's saying it right now, she's telling him everything he needs to know. And all he needs to hear for him to let her go.

"Okay, goodbye." He said, looking absolutely wretched and heartbroken. It pained Taylor to see him like this but she urged herself not to cry or show anything that might push him to change his mind. She's leaving, that's it and he can't change that anymore... he just can't and he just have to accept that.

Slowly, Harry turned his back and started walking away. It took everything from Taylor to stop herself from calling his name. She couldn't stand to see him like this, and the questions and afterthoughts ran through her mind faster than she could ever assume.

_Is he going to be okay?_

_Can he accept it well?_

_What if he gets sick?_

_What if--- what if---_

_No._

_Go to him._

_Don't, it's for him too._

_Let him go already... let him walk away..._

Regrettably and tearful, that's exactly what Taylor did. Harry turned his back and walked away in the rain. She watched as he walked on the side of the road, on the cold rain, his head bowed and hands in his pockets.

Taylor thought about it for a moment...

_Should I let him walk away? Should I stop him now? Do I still want to? But... would he change his mind if I did? No... he needs to move on with his life, without me. It'll be much easier for the both of us, no pressure, time and distance holding us down. He's better off without me. He'll find a nice girl he deserves... that's definitely not me. He can move on._

_I hope you have a good life, Harry._

Taylor shut her eyes for a moment then went inside her father's car. She was slightly wet but it didn't matter. Her father knew well not to talk about it since he'd seen it.

She sat on the back seat, and gazed out of the window, slightly biting her lower lip, just watching the raindrops roll down. She wiped the tears on her face, trying so hard to keep herself from continuously doing it

That's it... she just let him go, she just let him walk away, it was it... the end. She's now saying goodbye to the boy she loved. Goodbye to those forest green eyes and curly, cocoa brown hair. Goodbye to the flashes and whirrs of the camera, goodbye to the photographs he never took. It was done.

All she can hear now was their last conversation echoing inside her mind.

_"You don't really understand, haven't you seen the damage we both caused on ourselves? Harry, you can't keep living this kind of life. You can be free, I'm setting you free. It's not only me who wanted that for you, I'm sure. But who knows? Maybe ten years down the road we'll see each other again, maybe fall in love, maybe not but we just can't continue this now. We'll only cause more damage that hadn't been done before and it might get worse. I love you, I promise I always will... I just need to go. I'm really sorry."_

_"Okay, goodbye."_

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

It all fell into a kaleidoscope of memories.

”Taylor, would you please wake up?!" El's ringing voice made Taylor's fly open.

Taylor quickly sat up, almost hitting El, good thing she dodged. She felt a little drowsy but it wore off eventually. "Um, how-- what time is it?" She asked.

"Actually, it's still 10 AM, but... I decided to wake you up since you're mumbling stuff about-- well I guess you don't wanna hear about it." El said, shaking things off.

"I don't want to know either." Taylor replied, she didn't want to know yet she's got a good hunch about it... she'd rather not say it out loud, though.

–

Halloween, the best night for mischief and merriment, well, except for Taylor and El who both stayed in their dorm rooms. The two held a movie marathon, only the two of them.

Both of them are currently watching 'Exorcist' and they're currently on the scariest part. The room was dark, the only light source they had was the laptop. Taylor was a few feet away from El, eating popcorn and chips.

"Can we turn it off, now?" El asked in a whimper, her face turning beet red.

"You suggested this thing!" Taylor complained.

"I know but--"

Taylor opened her palm and faced it at El as she was too focused on the movie. "Shhh-- here it comes."

Both looked back at the screen, there was the silence... no music plays, this usually goes on before.

"AHHHHH!!!

Taylor and El screamed and hopped out of the floor when their door opened in a quick flash, lightning struck, thunder boomed, both of them pale, their hair standing, goosebumps showing.

At their door stood a clown, not the normal clown... His long, curly hair was a mess load of blue, yellow and green, his eyes pure black, no white could be seen, his face pale with a few stitches and flesh decomposing, his lips pierced and with blood dripping, his teeth sharp and bloody, nose is that big red ball, his green outfit as that of a clown only tattered and dripping with blood as he held a bloody knife on the left hand and a gory noose on the other. He slowly crept inside the room, peering at the ladies who were pale and obviously cannot move.

The clown gave an eerie maniacal grin.

Taylor struggled to get away but in their room, they're cornered, they couldn't go anywhere... _this is a nightmare, this is a nightmare..._ she tried to make herself believe but somehow she couldn't.

El was screaming as the clown came towards her, the face of murder visible on his grin.

Taylor grabbed the opportunity. She took a small wooden chair and hit it on the back of the clown. .

"Ow! That hurt!" He screamed and suddenly Taylor regretted doing it as she recognized the voice. How could she not see it?! "Bloody hell, Red Princess, that's not a good greeting!"

The clown sat on Taylor's bed, groaning in pain as he touched his back. "Is that how you answer to a little trick or treat?! Ow" He yelled.

"Lou? Are you kidding me?! I could barely recognize you, where did your jawline go?" Taylor almost yelled the words.

El stood and pinched Louis' ear. "God! Are you trying to kill me? You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Instead, Lou smiled charmingly at her. "No, but we're quits." He removed those pure black lenses and false bloody teeth.

El's eyebrows met as Taylor stood there in sheer awkwardness. She already knew where this us going to lead to.

"Quits?! I never scared you." El said in a slightly enraged tone.

 _Then Lou is gonna say something about how El gave him a heart attack, probably about the first day they met or something._ Taylor watched, trying to figure our if her prediction is true.

"You gave me a heart attack." Louis smiled charmingly.

"W-When exactly?" El asked, her arms crossed and her face as though she's ready to kill Louis at any moment

"Since the day I saw you, beautiful." Louis said... _and I am right again._ Taylor thought once more.

Taylor rolled her eyes and scoffed. She could've sworn though, that for a second, El smiled but now it was gone. "Anyways... what are you doing here? And why the hell the grand spooky entrance?" Taylor asked, placing her hands on her waist.

"I missed you, I'll add you too there, Eleanor... I missed the two of you." Louis smiled.

–

"Why am I not surprised?" Taylor said, putting up with El's smile as she states that her and Louis are already a thing. Though he's far, they still carried on to their relationship.

"Should I call you Mrs. Tomlinson now?" Taylor teased and now it's her turn.

El went beet red. "Stop that! I know I tease you a lot but--"

"Exactly... El and Lou, they're so cute, perfect, meant to be, their ship name iiss Elounor, they're perfect, they're called Elounor! Elounooorrr!" Taylor sang around the room, teasing the blushing El.

She ran around, laughing like a maniac the room as El chased her.

–

**Second year college**

**JANUARY**

"This is a boyfriend and girlfriend thing, I don't see why I have to come." Taylor mumbled. The two walked to Louis' house in Doncaster. Taylor couldn't help but feel like a third-wheel even though Louis isn't even here yet.

"No, Louis invited you and the blond Irish, Niall, right? He'll come." El said, tugging on Taylor's sleeve.

"Fine." She mumbled, she's already there anyways, what other choice does she have?

As expected, Niall and Taylor spent their day outside, good thing he brought his guitar, and Taylor borrowed Louis'. She was slightly surprised as she didn't even know he had a guitar.

The two of them are both sitting in a swing, guitar in their arms as they caught up in the almost two years they haven't each other.

"So, got yourself a girl?" Taylor asked, continuously playing an Ed Sheeran song in their guitars.

Niall chuckled. "Nope. How 'bout you? Got yourself a new lad?”

She just laughed it off. "Still just a few months though."

"Ooh, name?" The boy asked curiously with his glistening stormy blue eyes.

"Adam Wiles. But I don't think you'd know him." Taylor replied. She wasn't exactly that comfortable stating her current boyfriend to her ex's best friend but it's already two years. Who cares?!

Niall, for a second seemed to be deep in thought, then snapped back to reality. "Well, I'm happy for you, Tay."

"El seemed to be a nice lady." The blond Irish remarked.

Whereas Taylor was able to smile even more. "Yeah, she is. I know you guys will love her." She said, knowing she's honest with it as El's personality almost matched Lou's.

"Oh come on, we accept any girlfriend the lads have. But we do, have our favorites." He said then winked...

"Guessing El is one of them." Taylor said.

"You too. Harry picks excellently in his ladies."

She rolled her eyes. "I bet the new one would be much better than me."

"Maybe, but you can't really tell, eh? You might be one of our favorites but we're not forcing the two of you to get back together, you both moved on, haven't you?" Niall raised an eyebrow.

She smiled. "Of course, right now, we're okay. I'm not going to mess with his life."

"Oh, we know you won't." He replied. Then his gaze strolled off somewhere else, making it seemed like he went into deep thoughts. Taylor somehow knew Niall wasn't telling her something, judging by his blank stare and scrunched up eyebrows but she wasn't really sure.

She snapped her fingers right in front of Niall's eyes and said, "Snap out of it, Horan." She mumbled jokingly and then giggled.

–

A party horn blew, confetti spread all over the place as the room was filled with yells. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAYLORRRR!!"

Taylor woke up with this scene, she rubbed her eyes and sat up, seeing El, Lou, Niall and Austin. Austin was the one holding a cake. All of them are wearing party hats and throwing off confetti.

"Happy birthday, best roommate!"

"Happy birthday, Red Princess! Haha! You're getting old."

"Happy birthday, T.S.!!"

"Happy birthday, sis." Austin said, hugging her with one arm, keeping the vanilla cake from being crushed.

She was amazed, though she is sleepy as hell, "Thanks, guys!" She said, smiling. She stood up and thanked each and one of them.

"Well, blow the candles." El urged.

"Yeah, and you'll be officially twenty." Louis teased.

"And we can eat the cake!" Niall added, blowing the a party horn.

As suggested, Taylor blew the candles one with the number two and number zero. _Wow, I'm already twenty years-old._

"W-Wait, guys, smile for the camera!" El yelled as she set down her camera on the desk in front of them.

Taylor thought it was unfair seeing as she just woke up and wearing her pajamas while they looked like party goers. She loved the effort but something about Louis' mischievous smile says he planned the pajamas and waking her up thing.

"Everybody say SWIFT!" Niall yelled.

"SWIFFTTT!!!"

And flash, another photograph to add in her photo albums

–

Taylor was back home, her whole family sat in the near the chimney with a warm, crisp fire, where their Christmas tree is, under it were the presents for the Swift family. On the radio plays Christmas songs. They wore their casual attires but still simple.

Since it had been a tradition to wait for midnight every lovely Christmas Eve, Taylor and her family were happily chatting, trying to catch up for the past year. She excused herself when she remembered it was Louis' birthday too.

She sat on the staircase and talked to him for a while.

"I am twenty now, I haven't even noticed." He asked sarcastically.

"Accept it!"

"Anyways, you should spend Christmas here at the Tomlinson's sometime." Louis said, smiling.

"You should have Christmas here, you'll be the light again." Taylor joked.

"Yeah. I'd like that..."

"When?"

"Oh, Red Princess, there are loads of Christmases left for my life, one day, I'll be able to be there eventually, Boobear will be there, promise." Louis said and she could tell he was smiling.

Just the mere thought of Louis smiling made her smile as well. "Okay, see you whenever Christmas that'll happen. Happy birthday, Lou.”

"Merry Christmas, Tay."

–

All of these became memories as Taylor's life moved on. She didn't care much about her past anymore, not that she had been seeing a lot of signs from it. She focused on her present, after she graduated nursing, she continued studying in the day with a graveyard shift at night and after a couple of years, her hard work paid off, she eventually became an M.D. Her little internal problem was healed, it was only her anxiety that was left though it didn't attack much anymore. She still had a fear for passenger seats but since she had her own car, she always drives herself to and from the hospital.

Well, time flew by quickly, little did she know it, Taylor was already graduating from college. She took another related course and studied another four years. As of now, she had two years of experience as an M.D.

She hadn't been able to reach any of the lads or El after college but she was too busy to notice. She was focused only on her job in the hospital "Geortha Hospital" in New York City. And somehow, she couldn't asked for more. Everything is going at hand.


	3. Chapter 2

Taylor lied on her bed, playing with the furry, white cat, Olivia, she got a couple of months ago. She just came from a long morning nap and it's already four in the afternoon, two hours before she comes back at the hospital.

Her life was going absolutely well, for the twenty-seven years of living, she could already feel like she had attained quite a good life. But it still isn't enough. It's why she picked being a doctor, to help people... nothing like a life well-lived.

"Olivia, do you think they'll remember me? Jenny, Astro, Arnold, Warren, Elsie, Christine, Gray, James or even Bartholo?" Taylor asked her cat even though she knew it wouldn't answer. She was stating the names of the cancer patients or kids with disabilities she met along the way. Bartholo was special since he had short term memory loss but Taylor kept in mind of some of the kids by taking a picture of them and putting their names at the back of every photograph so she won't forget them.

Taylor chuckled, looking back, she was proud of what she experienced, how many kids she helped even adults. "Yeah, they probably won't. But I'll keep them in mind." She said.

She set down Olivia on the bed and took the pictures hung from her wall, mostly were the ones with her past patients and some even had their personal notes. Taylor smiled, seeing how sometimes she'd do something worthwhile, and these are the little trophies she's thankful to get.

After the few hours were over, she went to the hospital and saw to it that she does what is in need to be done.

It was another normal day, or night. Taylor was on the graveyard shift again, the cup noodles and warm coffee are her best friends as she goes on with her job. She took a break after a successful delivery of a baby girl by Mrs. Hardy. Well, she barely know the patient and she barely remembers them but at the moment, another life was put to safety in good hands.

She wasn't sleepy at all, her mind is still fresh with the feeling of triumph and success washing over her. She sat alone on a table in the hospital's cafeteria, looking at the night sky with countless stars above. She might be tired, but she didn't want to stop, she had been a bit nocturnal these days anyways.

She wanted to call her parents, but it's already one a.m., they're probably asleep. Austin, probably not, he's got a lot going on with the bank too. Taylor couldn't so anything but stare at her phone and think if she could talk to someone. She had friends around the hospital but seeing as most are already home and some are still quite busy, she decided not to go look around for them.

Taylor had developed a habit of sometimes going in the nursery, - though not part of her job - and just looked at some of the newborn babies. There was something about those peacefully sleeping newborn that calmed her and removed her tiredness.

Taylor finished up her food and coffee, she went to check to the nurse's screens where they watch the patients who just went through giving birth or had problems in the same matter. She was friends with the nurses there... she usually stays there until she gets appointments or her shift ends.

"So what's up for tonight, ma'am?" Taylor asked the forty-year old, woman. She had long black hair tied up in a bun with the nurse cap on her head, she had dazzling brown eyes and the most genuine smile.

"Oh, nothing new, doctor. There are two new patients who went through miscarriage. Poor old beans." Mrs. Fredricksen answered.

Taylor let out a smile. "Ma'am, I told you, you can call me Taylor." She didn't like being called 'doctor' by her friends that much, especially the elderly.

"Oh alright." Mrs. Fredricksen chuckled. "When is the end of your shift?" She asked.

Taylor looked at her watch and it's already two in the morning. "Six hours from now."

"I still don't know why you took the graveyard shift." Mrs. Fredricksen remarked.

"Since only few took it, and the time... I don't bother. It's quiet." Taylor smiled.

"Aren't you afraid of the haunting stories lurking 'bout the hospital?" Mrs. Fredricksen joked.

She laughed. "No, besides, two years here and I never had an experience. Six, actually, if you add the four years of me being a nurse."

"Excuse me." Someone said behind her.

Taylor moved sideways, giving way to the lad wearing a gray T-shirt and some pants with a silver dog tag around his neck. His hair was the shade of jet black, neatly styled and gelled with a close-cropped thin cut. He seemed a bit familiar... though Taylor didn't give it a split second to know.

"Evening, may I ask which floor the ICU for heart patients is at." The man asked calmly and respectfully. Taylor was slightly amazed she still hears that kind of manners from a lad at least her age. _Still, wrong floor... it's in the fifth, a few hallways near my office._

"Ooh, I'm afraid you're at the wrong floor, it's in the fifth, sir." Mrs. Fredricksen answered while Taylor stood there in silence.

He said, "Oh? Uh, erm. Thank you, ma'am." He scratched his head, apparently, in doing so, Taylor was hit in the face by his elbow. She didn't manage to dodge since she didn't expect it.

_Ow._

"Oh darn, sorry. Are-Are you okay?" He apologized as quickly as he realized. The lad slightly held her face, to the exact her upper-right cheek, which she was slightly uncomfortable at.

She shook it, "Uh, yeah." Taylor mumbled. Finally, the lad removed his fingers off her face.

"Sorry, again Doctor uhh..." the lad's eye traced to her name tag. "Swift. That's a nice name."

Taylor's eyes narrowed. "It's alright, sir." She smiled.

The lad smiled as well. "Please, don't call me 'sir', it's makin' me feel a bit old. I'm still twenty-nine."

 _Then what should I call you?_ Taylor's eyes slightly moved to the smiling Mrs. Fredricksen. Taylor's eyebrows crossed as her eyes traced back to the lad.

"I'm Cas, by the way. I'll see ya 'round. Sorry again." The lad winked then walked away to the elevator.

Taylor rolled her eyes knowing she had just been hit on, also add the factor that Mrs. Fredricksen, was smiling. Old people sense a lot stronger and quicker than Taylor did. Mrs. Fredricksen obviously knew it since the first apology whereas she just realized it.

"Please, stop that." Taylor said. "I'm through being annoyed by my companions for years. Please."

Mrs. Fredricksen just laughed. "For old ladies like me, it's easy to tell which eyes are smitten and which eyes are innocent."

Taylor's mind went suddenly blank she didn't fully understand. "Oh. Okay."

After a while, Taylor went back to the cafeteria. The place relaxed her since there were a few people. Two am, she scrolled through her contacts, hoping to find someone she could talk to.

She felt a bit down since she didn't see the names she would love to call, except her family, Eleanor, Emma, Selena and even Niall. Especially Louis, she hadn't been able to call him since she lost her old phone. God knows she still regrets that innocent mistake.

Taylor had lost connection to almost all of her friends, their numbers, their social media accounts and present addresses. Somehow, she chose it since she had been busy, she works at night and sleeps every morning, that would have been contradicting in their schedules if they wanted to meet up or something.

After thirty minutes of staying there, she grabbed another cup of coffee, while reading a newspaper she got on one of the seats. At first, Taylor ignored it and scrolled through the old photos she managed to get, she stopped when she saw Louis and turned the phone off. She decided to settle for the crosswords using a pen from her pocket.

"Consequence, nine letters." Taylor bit her lip and stuck with the question. She knew the word, she just couldn't remember.

She heard the slight scratching of the metal legs of the chair against the tiles from the seat in front of her. She recognized it easily from the dark hair, only she just observed that he had silver-gray eyes, her memory isn't frizzy, she knew who it was, Cas. The lad from earlier.

"Hope the seat isn't taken." Cas smiled, only Taylor was too busy in her own little world, she could've just imagined the smile.

Taylor shook her head, she practically ignored his presence and focused on the crossword.

"Why take the graveyard shift? Your boyfriend can't be too happy about that." Cas asked.

"I don't have one." Taylor replied, still not looking up. _Why do people assume that I have one?_ She didn't want to be too rude, she decided to just flow along with the conversation. "What about you, who are you visiting here?" She asked finally looking up.

Cas was smiling, his deep dimples visible in his cheeks. He had a scar on his upper-left forehead that had seemed to be once a stitch. "My mom." He answered. "She had a heart attack, now she's under observation."

"Oh, sorry to hear that." She replied. Now she didn't feel so uncomfortable. Although, Cas really looked familiar. She just didn't know when she saw him.

Little did Taylor realize, she was staring and she snapped out as soon as Cas cleared his throat.

"Sorry." She apologized.

"It's fine, by the way, can I call you by your first name? I mean, it's a little weird calling you doctor. You seem a little young for it. I don't mean that in a bad way, though." Cas stated continuously.

"Sure, I'm Taylor." She replied. "I was just wondering where I saw you before, you seem a bit familiar."

Cas laughed. "In one of my old games, perhaps? I was a football player."

 _I still don't know where I saw you._ "I don't really--" she started, trying to figure out who this guy is. She probably just saw him once but somehow, he's familiar.

"I used to play for an amateur college team, the Blizzards, I was usually Roxfer 09." Cas replied.

"I must be losing my mind. I can't remember, sorry." Taylor said, a bit shy about the fact that she was uncertain who this lad is.

"It's okay, not everybody can remember random football players, but I'm through that. I was a hothead, back then." Cas replied.

Taylor smiled seeing as Cas did seem like he used to be a hothead type but now, he looked formal. Then Taylor just suddenly remembered Louis, the mere mention of football brought back Louis into her head. She just misses him more. "Uh, can we please stop talking about football?"

"Oh, I get it. You had an ex who is a football player." Cas said, apparently, he was wrong, Taylor's ex -Harry, specifically- was an awful player.

She shook her head. "No, someone else."

"Sure, then." Cas answered. He was quiet for a while but said, "Look, I know we just met, but can we meet up sometime?"

Taylor raised an eyebrow. She was so used to this. First, a nice conversation then not an hour later, there comes the can-I-ask-you-out? "Can't, busy." She replied.

She could see the disappointment and hidden groan in the boy's gray eyes. She felt a little guilty for it but she tried not to show it. "Oh, then can I have your number?"

Taylor scratched her head. She had two numbers, one personal and one she randomly gives off and could easily dispose of. "Y-Yeah. I guess." She replied. She gave the one she randomly gives off and smiled.

"Thank you, Taylor." Cas said.

"Don't. Besides--"

Taylor's watch rung, reminding her of an appointment she's being called in, a new patient. Yes, that's how easy they got in touch of her. She read the few letters saying "ROOM 056, URGENT."

She sighed. "Sorry, Cas. I gotta go. Thanks anyways." She stood up and left everything on the table except her phone and personal pen. She quickly went into the elevator to the third floor.

Taylor then rushed to the room. 056 had a couple of patients in one room, separated by curtains, one that needed her attention was the one second from the end, a woman with long red hair and green eyes. Her legs had blood rushing down and judging from her belly size, she was 5-6 months pregnant. She also had a raging fever caused by her flu. A bit of a hard case but it was normal for Taylor so she went on with the situation calmly.

"Excuse me, sweetie." Taylor said to a child that's blocking her way. She could guess that it was the woman's daughter but no sign of the father. The child obediently moved and let Taylor and the nurses do their stuff.

The woman almost miscarried her baby, but they managed to get her in time and she gave her some medicine to keep the baby intact. All they had to watch was her flu but that shouldn't be much of a problem now.

After a while, the room is filled with sleeping patients and their visitors, almost everyone is peacefully asleep except the child Taylor had encountered earlier.

Taylor wanted to know who is her patient but the child worried her a bit. She was seated on a nearby chair with her long brown, wavy hair covering her face as her head was bowed. Her feet swaying in those doll shoes and white stockings with a classical dress that looked as that of the vintage dolls. She looked like she was somewhere between the ages five to seven.

"I think I'll talk to her for a while." Taylor mumbled, walking to the child. She sat beside the child.

"H-Hey." She said, a rather inappropriate entrance but that was all she could think of after the stuff she had just got through.

And then, the kid looked up. Taylor froze for a moment or two as she saw the kid's eyes. _How in the--_ even her mind was frozen and went into scrambles.

She can't be wrong, those eyes were like a mirror to hers, they're exactly the same. The child had bright blue eyes, sure blue eyes are normal for their country but hers was a rare style. The child's blue eyes had the dark blue in the middle, going lighter as it expands with visible blue lines and a dark ring around the whole pupil whereas the shape had narrowed a bit in the end. It was her eyes, she could clearly see them.

It's not just that, Taylor also felt hypnotized, like she couldn't feel a thing and move an inch. She didn't know what to do, all she did was wait for the child to say something. She had the weakest spot for children, now she saw her eyes, for the first time in a random kid, she might lose her mind. She would just fall into an abyss of her own thoughts and she wouldn't even know.

"Is mommy going to be okay?" The child asked with the sweetness and innocence only a child would be able to muster.

"Yes, beautiful. She will be." Taylor replied with a smile. She used the gentlest tone she could but she could hit herself so hard for using a too-sweet tone.

"There was blood." The child bowed her head.

"I know, beautiful. But don't worry about her, I promise, I won't let anything happen to your mom. Okay?" Taylor said, then she checked her watch, quarter to four am. "I think it's way pass your bedtime."

The child looked at her name tag. "M-Maybe. Doctor S-S-S ... w-w--"

"It's Doctor Swift, love." Taylor said.

"Oh. I am not that--" she rubbed her eyes and yawned. "Sleepy."

The child closed her eyes and rested her head on Taylor's arm, her pale, little arm over Taylor's stomach. All she heard was the child's almost-inaudible soft snores. For that whole minute, Taylor didn't do anything but breathe. She needed to know if the child is asleep but it had to be.

_What in the hell are you going to do now?_

_Easy, go away._

_Without the kid, waking up?_

_I could do that._

Slowly, Taylor reached out for a pillow near her and slowly moved away, laying the child's head on the pillow. She, then took a blanket and draped it all over the child but still making sure she didn't cover the head.

She smiled as she walks toward the door. Her left hand reaches for the handle but her right gets pulled by two little ones.

Then she saw the child again, yes, the one with the same eyes as her. _Please! Don't look at me like that! I can't handle it! Don't!_ Taylor wanted to yell, there was something about the child that is making her feel funny, and she didn't like that feeling. She can't handle being around her. There was something.

"C-Can you pl-please stay?" The child asked in a way, Taylor was familiar of. She had the odd feeling of déjà vu sweep across her whole body. She couldn't remember when it happened.

Taylor gave in to the pleading eyes and the innocent voice . She smiled in the most friendly way she could muster.

"Yeah, I guess I can." She replied. _this happened before, hasn't it?_

She sat near the child's head like earlier. She tucked her in and waited for the child to fall asleep. Taylor didn't actually have a decent conversation with the child but her little right hand never left Taylor's. The child's hand locked itself, Taylor didn't mind at first. Although her hand was rally shaking with the odd feeling. She just decided to ignore it and leaned back. She rested her eyes for a while. She could tell the lights were dimmed, almost losing the light. And everything was quiet... you could only hear the air-conditioning system.

"Doctor Swift." The child said, just as Taylor thought she was asleep.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you stay?"

Silence.

Taylor couldn't exactly process it. She had no idea why a four to seven- year old kid would just ask her that. She had no idea how that thought even came to that child. Did she hear it from someone else or a movie, perhaps? Whatever it is, it's not something a normal kid would ask. She couldn't figure it out...

_Why did I stay? Why did I stay? Why did I stay? Why did I stay?_

Then some memories just interfered with her thoughts.

_Why didn't I stay? Why didn't I stay? Why didn't I stay? Why didn't I stay?_

Taylor sighed, the question was so simple but she couldn't even answer it right without memories flooding in her mind.

"Stay? Why'd you ask that?" She asked, since the child already started with adult stuff, she decided to talk to the child in an adult way.

"Just asking."

Taylor released a sigh of relief. For a second, she thought it was going towards something really serious but she guess it's just a way for kids. "What's your name, by the way?"

"Hmm, maybe you can ask th-them." the child answered in a drowsy voice. Taylor could easily tell she was starting to doze off to sleep.

"Wh-Who?" Taylor asked.

"Goodnight." The child replied sleepily then kept quiet. Taylor guessed she's probably sleeping.

Taylor felt quite relieved and stroke the girl's hair. She just had to. She was smiling at the child, the innocence children have in their little ways, she envies that. They're clean, never shattered, never heartbroken. They're just simply innocent.

"Night, beautiful." Taylor replied. She closed her eyes for a while.

After a couple of minutes, Taylor's watch rung again. With her eyes closed, she reached for the snooze and then opened her eyes. The lights in the room are switched off in the room, her only light source was her watch and the slice of light from the door.

Slowly, she let go of the little hand and walked out of the room. She didn't want to be there anymore, she just didn't... besides, as she expected, there was another patient that needed her help so she went to the fourth floor instantly.

To be clear, Taylor wasn't just a doctor for pregnant women she goes far to children too. She's simply a pediatrician who works on both unborn and the ones who grow. This is why she gets too close to kids.

Hours later, 6AM to the exact, Taylor was an hour away before she goes home. She almost did nothing for the past few hours but check her patients and read her medical books. She'd fiddle with the stuff on her office desk every once in a while, and maybe even write a few random things that come to her mind.

She wasn't hungry so she decided to stay in her small, cozy office. Sitting in that comfortable chair with her hands on her desk. Her office had a bit of personal touch since outside the windows were a few flower pots with plants on them, paintings of flowers, some pictures black and white hung on the wall. The shelves had a neat line of medical books on them, the two-velvet sofa-chairs facing each other was placed near Taylor's desk, just in case she needs to talk to someone and there was a thick dark maroon carpet on the floor. On her desk was a stack of papers, a couple of pens and lastly, the framed picture of her graduation day, the day she became an M.D. it was taken way back two years ago and her family was complete in it, her father, her mother, and her little brother, Austin. She wasn't even sure if he can still be called 'little' nowadays.

She was free in this hospital; the office was her haven of calmness and relaxation. The hospital didn't seem to mind her much since she works as much hard as anyone around. They needn't complain. It's only a small office anyways.

–

Without even realizing, after a while, Taylor dozed off and fell asleep on her desk. She was awakened by the knocking sound on her office door. She took a few seconds to look around and realize what was going on. She looked at her watch and blast it! It's already eight thirty am, she was supposed to be home an hour ago.

There was a knock on the door again.

Groggily, Taylor rubbed her eyes, stood up and flattened her lab coat. She walked to the door and opened it. Her vision was slightly blurred, sighing, she put her glasses on. She hated it when her vision does this, but she didn't like wearing contacts either. Sometimes she could see clearly, sometimes she couldn't, it's confusing her. She knew, one way or another it would lead to actual blurriness. This is why she acquired glasses sooner before it even happened.

Before her revealed a young nurse, seemingly a few years younger than she is, the girl had dark brown hair and light brown eyes with a few freckles up her cheeks. She wore thin eyeglasses and the usual green nurse uniform. She had that warm smile on her face. The nurse had the name tag, "Jessie Flake"

"Oh, I'm sorry doctor, did I disturb you?" The young nurse asked, her face a bit nervous.

Taylor didn't know her face looked strict and intimidating, her eyes were strictly straight and her lipstick shows a pout. She didn't like that idea, so she gave the nurse a warm smile. "N-No, no actually. What is it?"

The nurse smiled nervously. "Th-There was a child, she said she knew you."

"Wh-Who?"

The nurse looked at the child and smiled. "That's her, right?"

"Yes, ma'am." the child answered. Taylor slightly stepped backward as she saw the little girl, their eyes... "I-Is there a problem, doctor?" The nurse asked.

Taylor shook her head. "None. Thank you." She replied. The nurse nodded and bid her farewell, leaving the child behind.

Yes, the same child with that long, wavy, cocoa brown hair, chubby and red rosy cheeks, and lastly, the mirror of Taylor's eyes. The child was looking up at her, smiling, her hands on her dress pockets.

 _Ugh, pleeeeaaaseee._ Taylor's eyes showed her fear, how she didn't want this child to stare at her like that. Goosebumps showed on her skin, though she pained it out and wore a wry smile.

"Uh, what are you doing here, princess?" Taylor asked, bending her knees to almost-kneel and leveling with the child's height.

"Mommy. H-Her fever is still there." The child answered.

"I promise it'll pass, we've done what we could, sweetie. There's just some things only time can heal." Taylor said, wondering if a little child could understand that. She was somehow wondering if she was directing that statement to herself too.

"Daddy used to say that." The child replied. "And... he's coming! Can we go back? Can we? Can we?" The child suddenly asked in a hurry.

Taylor stood up, "Um yeah, sure." She mumbled. She then, started walking away but she resized the child is not following her. She turned around to see the child still in front of her door.

"Are you coming, princess?" She asked.

The child smiled, she extended her little hand towards Taylor's direction with a smile. _Should I hold it?_ Taylor's hand shook but slowly reached out for the little hand. It felt warm on her cold, thin fingers, and somehow, it was beginning to be alright with her. _This isn't so bad, I guess._

"Should we take the elevator or the stairs?" Taylor asked the child, as they faced two options.

"Stairs, please." The kid answered and she nodded her head to agree.

Halfway there, Taylor knew somehow the child was having trouble keeping up. Who knew she probably have been walking about the hospital. She'd cough every once in a while, and try hard to catch her breath. _Asthmatic, why didn't I see it?_

"Come on, I'll carry you." Taylor said with a smile as she bent down and lifted the child in her arms.

Taylor didn't feel the heaviness on her arms, she just felt the warmth as they talk along the way.

"Almost there, princess." She said as they reached the third floor. They were walking near the room when Taylor decided to ask the child about her name.

"Oh yeah, what's your name, sweetie?" Taylor asked.

The child merely smiled and answered.

_"I'm Alison Styles."_

_Wait, what?_ Taylor couldn't think straight, she lost her formality, she lost her tracks, she lost her sense of coping up, she lost her mind… she lost it!

Did she hear it right? Of course she did! She could play that name over and over in her head and still think it's just an effect of her exhaustion and lack of sleep. This can't be happening, the world can't be serious at this moment. The child must be joking.

But then, it's really happening, the world is always a serious place, the child wouldn't joke about it since how would she know?! She's just a kid! If it was any of the lads, Taylor would believe that it was a joke but this! This is an innocent kid, she couldn't be joking. Alison Styles.

Could she be Harry's daughter? Well, they have the same curls and brown hair, plus the skin and the same demeanor at times but… Taylor was hesitant where the eyes came from. Her mother's eyes were green, weren't they? And why in the hell would Harry name his kid after her middle name?!

Taylor shook every thought out of her head then continued walking. "Th-That's a nice name." She mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

"Thanks." Alison replied. "It's with a single 'l' and sometimes people call me 'Alice' like the one from Wonderland. Daddy likes Alison much better, though."

_I would swear, someone is playing a very sick joke. The author of my life sure hates me._

"Dr. Swift, do you have a daughter?" the child asked.

"No, I don't, princess." Taylor replied. Her mind still floating in the wind. Not happening, all in her mind. She didn't just meet a girl named "Alison Styles" with the same blue eyes as hers, she's probably just going out of her mind.

Plot twist: Right now, she is asleep, back in her office... Yes! That could be it!

"Oh, I was thinking if we could play or--"

"I'll let you once I do." She replied, practically lying to herself since she had no plans on having one. She'd like a daughter, she supposes, but it couldn't be now. She's too busy to have a family or even date.

"Yay!" Alison cheered.

Taylor averted her eyes from the kid's eyes. She wouldn't be able to break free from that gaze. Alison Styles? _There are a lot of Styles in the world, it couldn't be just Harry, right?_

She'd rather not know. The answers that come to her mind are completely insane.

"Taylor!"

Alison looked over her shoulder with a smile. Taylor turned around.

"Cas?"

Cas stopped on his tracks and looked at Taylor for a while. "Whoa, glasses? How come--

"Didn't need it earlier. Excuse me, Cas. I kinda--" Taylor moved her eyes to Alison then back to Cas with a half-smile. "I'll be right back."

"You don't need help or--"

"This is her room." She smiled again then held the doorknob with her free hand.

"She's not yours?"

Taylor laughed at Cas since he looked like for a second, he believed his own thoughts. "I have no idea what made you think that but we'll talk later."

She turned the knob and timingly, someone was about to get out.

"Alison!" He exclaimed with a sigh of relief.

_Fudge! Fudge! Fudge! What in the world is going on?!_

"Uncle Liam!" Alison rejoiced and hugged her uncle since he was too near. Instantly, Alison wasn't in Taylor's arm anymore.

"L-Liam?" Taylor stuttered. Her thoughts are confirmed, somehow she saw it coming but she still couldn't believe it. Liam is right there in front of her, one of her friends from highschool.

"Taylor?"

_Who else?! This joker. Wait, is this even real?!_

"As in, Swift?! Whoa, you look..." Liam looked at her from head to toe. "Doctor. Hmm, not bad."

Taylor looked at Liam. First of all, he wasn't the same young-faced boy, he is definitely a man now, his hair was a little thin considering it had been semi-clear on the sides whereas his hair was straight to gelled. He's got visible hair for his beard and moustache but it's still thin.

"Kidding, come here." Liam gave her a one-armed hug. "Thanks for looking out over Alison. You know how Harry is, especially with this one, she's his princess. "

"Yeah, Alison." Taylor's gaze landed on the floor then back to Liam. "Nice to see you again, Liam."

"Alison." Liam laughed. "I never dared asking why. Anyways I better go, her mum is in there, suppose you know her already."

Taylor nodded. The feeling overwhelmed her, she could barely speak up. "W-Well, I kind of..." she sighed. "Is L-Louis--"

Liam chuckled. "Funny, thought you'd ask for Harry. No, he isn't, bit busy with his work. Being a drama prof and all."

"Oh--"

All of them heard a woman's voice from inside the room, which could be Harry's wife. "Better go. Guess I'll be seeing you a lot, Dr. Swift." Liam winked and turned inside the room.

Over Liam's shoulder, before the door shut, Alison looked at her with a smile. "Bye Dr. Swift." And then the door shut.

Taylor smiled at the ground.

Cas cleared his throat. She looked at him, a bit sorry for almost forgetting he was there. She was just overwhelmed by the fact that she saw Liam again.

"Sorry, I almost--"

"So this Louis... is he your ex?" Cas asked in a friendly way. He had both hands on his jacket pockets like a good boy simpering with his dimples.

Taylor shook her head. "No. Listen Cas, I gotta go home. I'll see you, I guess."

"Can I at least accompany you ‘til the parking lot?" He asked.

She nodded. "Sure."

Taylor and Cas went straight to the elevator, down to the last floor then to the parking lot. They didn't have much of a conversation, only a few questions but it was okay. Cas seemed to be a nice person, he was alright to talk to.

She went inside her car and Cas simply smiled. "Had fun for a couple of minutes, Taylor." He said.

"Yeah. Thanks, Cas." Taylor smiled and rolled up her windows. She slowly backed the car up and made way out of the parking lot.

Unexpectedly, her anxiety attacked, making her lose control before the turn. She almost hit the black Rover in front of her. Gladly, she hit the brakes as soon as she snapped out of it. The driver of the other car just ignored her and continued along the car growl. Taylor, on the other hand, drove straight back home.

_God, that was embarrassing._

She rushed to her floor, to her apartment room and went inside. Nothing seemed to be different about it, it's been a long shift! She was just got she got back to her place, she lied on her bed and released a sigh of relief... then silence fell, she could only hear her cats purring.

_The past just can't leave you alone, now can it?_

She asked herself in her thoughts. She figured she's going mad but at least she had nothing to worry about but herself.

_Unlike Harry, he has a family._

She laughed at the thought. Although, she couldn't help asking herself why she haven't decided on having one. Probably because one, she doesn't have a boyfriend and two she is too busy to have one.

Taylor tried entertaining herself. Simply by doing all of the stuff she always does, walk around with her earphones on, play with her cats, watch TV and eat ice cream or bagels. In the end, she lied on her bed, she almost didn't move at all making her seem like a doll... a stressed, perplexed, absolutely haunted -by the past- doll.

She couldn't stop thinking about Alison, her eyes... and her name. The fact that somehow she ended up with that name, she's a "Styles", Harry's kid to the exact. Why would he name Alison after her middle name? He knew clearly well that it was hers, why would he?

 _Well Taylor, one perfect theory is that Harry hit his head and forgot about your middle name._ The thought came out insane, and very impossible. _Funny, Taylor... real funny._

Taylor grabbed for one of her pillows and threw it over her head... something crashed, fell to the ground and she heard one of her cats shrieked and, now she realized she just made an idiotic move. She face palmed and groaned as she stood then walked towards the once properly arranged shelf.

She looked down on the floor with Meredith staring at her and Olivia walking around and sniffing the fallen objects. "Move over, guys. I've got a lot to—"

Taylor's eyes darted at the shelf. Beyond all of those picture frames and tiny ornaments, there was a tiny black box, slightly opened in a way she saw a shiny silver chain. She thought she'd never see it again, she swore she wouldn't, but it had always been there. She didn't throw it like other people thought, she just kept it hidden, somewhere she swore she wouldn't check…

The paper airplane necklace.

It was the one Harry gave her, ten years later and it still haunted her. Taylor closed her eyes for a second, she had the urge to grab it, maybe relive the moments just for a couple of seconds. Maybe wrap the chains between her fingers with the silver airplane right on her palms, see her reflection and… his eyes.

She sighed and closed the box and rearranged the items on the shelf. She just smiled to herself and continued with the work then lied on her bed once more.

"Paper airplane days are long gone." She chuckled, she reached out for one of her cats and placed her on the side of the bed. _Harry's daughter days though, they're here._

 _Ugh, and not to mention the fact that he's gonna have a son. I'm their doctor!_ Taylor chuckled but nervously this time. She put her palms all over her face saying "Great, just great. All along I knew he hated me, still he named her daughter after my middle name."

Taylor was going nowhere as her conflicts were all in her head. She thought she'd rather take the hours sleeping instead of this – seconds later she dozed off.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

"This is totally insane." Taylor mumbled, looking at the street filled with different sorts of vehicles. Her car slowly moved inch by inch to the hospital, it felt like forever! The time was actually bearable, in fact, Taylor felt a bit selfish for wishing the traffic would last, and wishing it's Monday instead of Sunday. Out of all people, she was one of the few who looked forward on Mondays, one reason is it's her day off. And she would definitely wish it was Monday.

She'd give everything just to get back to her apartment with Meredith and Olivia rather than to step in to Harry's life again. She had moved on. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't hate being back to staring at those forest green eyes. The fact that his daughter is named Alison which -Harry would definitely know- was her middle name. Same spelling too. Out of all the names in the world, why would he choose that name?! Plus, the girl had her eyes.

Taylor slammed her head on the steering wheel and closed her eyes. "It would've been easier if that wasn't her name and the color of her eyes are different." She said, clearly pertaining to Alison. She was absolutely frustrated, but work is work, she won't be able to do anything about it.

Taylor thought she couldn't let something like that interfere with her daily life. After getting to the hospital, she did what she always does, check in with the schedules and stuff, go to Mrs. Fredricksen and have little chat, then finally go to her office where she would see her schedule.

Did she see it coming? Yes.

Was she disappointed? Yes.

One of the few in her patients' list was the name "Elizabeth Styles" just so happens that she was moved to another room.

"One-hundred two. Harry outdid himself, it was just a flu." Taylor said. Well, what would she know? She never experienced being a parent and she certainly never experienced being pregnant, she only knew the 'why’s' and 'how’s'.

Taylor checked the first three first, two of which are already released. The Styles were the last one seeing as the surname started with 'S'.

She sighed, looking straight at the brown door with the silver numbers "102". _It'll happen after all._ "Okay, here goes nothing." She said then knocked on the door.

Accidentally eavesdropping, she heard a simple sentence.

"Hun, could you please open the door?" Taylor guessed that was Elizabeth Styles.

But who was she talking to?

_Please no._

The door slowly opened.

"Doctor Swift!" Alison exclaimed, Taylor's eyes dropped a few feet to look at Alison. _Phew._ The door was now wide open. The same blue eyes were staring at her again, putting her back into the hypnotizing trance.

 _Wait, don't you dare... don't you even---_ -

Alison hugged Taylor, seeing as she was still a child, she only reached her legs but nevertheless, still hugged her tightly. _She did it._

Taylor's eyes scanned the room for a split second, Mrs. Styles, Niall and Alison, only them. She gave a wry smile at the two.

Niall had his jaw dropped, it's as though he couldn't believe his own eyes. He was still the same blonde Irish Taylor knew, only his hair is now a mess like he hadn't slept in days, his face grew older but not too old. In fact, even after five years, Niall still looked like he was in his early-twenties, like one of those classy businessmen or young CEO's. Taylor guessed he might still be single.

"Holy mother--" Niall almost swore but Mrs. Styles' glare shut him up.

She looked back to Alison. "Hey princess, how are you?"

"Great. Please come in!!" Alison finally let her go. Taylor walked inside and did what she had to do, check the vital signs and stuff.

The only uncomfortable thing is, she knew three sets of eyes were watching her... she was used to people watching her, sure. But this time it's different, there was the daughter of her ex, wife of her ex --of which, both had no idea who she was to Harry-- and then there's Niall Horan, one of his best friends, the one who knew everything.

Taylor finally clipped the paper to the end of the bed, and signed it... she learned quite well about Elizabeth Styles. She is five months pregnant, and her fever has gone down so she might be released after a day.

"You have nothing to worry about, you and your child will be alright now." Taylor smiled. "I'll come back within four hours." She turned away and reached for the door.

"Aww! Can't you please stay?" Alison asked.

"Hun, she's a doctor. She might be busy." Mrs. Styles reminded.

 _Oh good one._ Actually, Taylor wasn't that busy, she just don't want to hang around here. Especially with Niall making it too obvious, his jaw was still dropped.

"A fly might come in, Horan. Shut that jaw." Taylor said, it's like she forgot who she is in the present.

"S-Sorry... I mean, sorry. It's just---" Niall said, walking to Taylor. "Damn, I missed you." He smiled then hugged Taylor.

A smile formed on Taylor's red lips. Yeah, she missed Niall, alright. She did, but she never expected Niall would do this.

"I missed you too, Nialler." She said as Niall's chin buried on her shoulder.

Niall then let her loose. He glanced at Liz with a simper. Liz still had that I-have-no-idea-what-the-heck-is-going-on look on her face.

"Come on, I'll introduce you as Taylor." He invited.

Taylor looked down at Alison who was smiling, it almost reached her ears, dimples engraving her red flag cheeks. "

Yayy!" She exclaimed, running back to her mom.

Actually, Taylor wasn't able to process the moment well, but she ended up doing it in Niall's way. He had his hand on her back, leading her directly to Liz, the redhead with the green eyes, lying on the hospital bed with Alison seated beside her.

"Liz this is Taylor, she's an old friend. Really old--"

Taylor glared at Niall and elbowed him. He just laughed it off.

"Ow." Niall chuckled. "And Taylor, this is Liz, Harry's wife." He added.

"Oh, so you knew my _husband?_ " Liz asked.

It kind of mocked Taylor but she ignored that feeling. She knew she was going to end up rolling her eyes or glaring anyways.

"Yeah, I was his--" _what the hell are you going to say now, Taylor?!_ Taylor paused for a while... "f-friend. I don't suspect you know a lot about me." She replied.

Liz nodded. "Yes, I never heard him mention you before. Why may I as--"

"Well, they last saw each other and had a nice conversation, ten years ago. Couldn't blame Harry for not bringing her up. I knew I did though, she's the Red Princess." Niall entered. His voice was dang lower.

Taylor silently thanked Niall for the simple save.

"Red Princess? Oh yeah I remember, she's the one you and Louis always bring up. Nice to finally meet you." Liz said, extending her right arm.

Taylor shook her hand. It's nice to meet Mrs. Styles too." She said. She scratched her head awkwardly. "I think I should be going."

"But... you just got here." Alison said.

"Alison, she's a doctor remember?" Liz said in a light tone, again with the same point.

Alison pouted. "Okay. Goodbye Dr. Swift!" She waved cheerily.

"Bye, princess." Taylor said leaving the room. It wasn't really bad, Liz seemed like good person, according to Taylor's first impression. She wondered how Liz would react if she knew Taylor was Harry's ex, the real reason why Harry got scars on his back from the accident. Taylor was also wondering how Harry explained those scars.

_Who cares? That's not my problem anymore._

She took her phone out as she was on her way to the elevator, she pressed the "up" button then dialled El's number. Some sort of funny feeling is overwhelming her and she thought, maybe El would understand.

"Taylor! So what's going on? Why call all of sud--"

" Just recently , I saw Niall." Taylor whisper-yelled.

"Wait, what? So confirmed? Have you seen--"

The elevator bell dinged.

"No. Neither of the two, whoever you are referring to." She replied, then walked inside the elevator. "Actually, if there was a sign of... okay so, I just feel a bit weird right now." Taylor blurted out quickly.

El laughed. "I can tell, I mean you are talking really fast right now. Calm down."

"How do you suppose I do that?" She whisper-yelled, a bit conscious on the fact that she's not the only one in the elevator bit she wasn't exactly paying attention to them.

"It's not like you already met Harry or Louis, jeez freak out when you already--"

Then came out a voice.

"You met them, haven't you?"

Taylor froze... El was silenced too. Neither of them could utter a word. She heard it right. She heard the freaking voice right. That accent, that almost high-pitched gentle voice.

Louis grinned, he was leaning on the elevator wall with his arms crossed. He was wearing a jean jacket paired up with pants and a blue shirt inside. Taylor hadn't seen him in a while but he changed... his face seemed worn-out like he was tired, his hair was still a headful of brown messy hair, only this time, a bit thin on the both sides. His face seemed clean from stray tiny hairs but still, he looked a lot older, more matured, somehow, compared to Niall's face, for that matter.

Taylor was rendered speechless while El from the other line serving the same state.

"I'm...I'll t-t-talk to umm, to you later." El said, then ended the call. _How could she just do that?! How dare she leave me in this moment?!_

She slowly put the phone in her pockets, her blue eyes staring at the sea-green ones. "A lot to take in a day? Hmm--" Louis stared at her from top to bottom. "White Queen? And glasses?"

Taylor still couldn't speak. _Louis Tomlinson._

"Well?" Louis said, his arms wide apart.

"Oh my gosh, Louis!" Taylor hugged Louis tightly, she felt some bones being crushed, not entirely sure if it was hers or Louis'.

Louis rested his chin on Taylor's shoulder then pulled her closer. "God, have you ever heard of calling? I was too bloody worried! Where have you bloody been for the last five years?!" He said, almost all at once.

There were other people in the elevator, mostly the hospital staff but nothing made Taylor uncomfortable. Words will spill out but, who cares? She isn't a celebrity for people to mess with.

Louis let her go with a smirk on his face. "I missed my damn floor." He muttered.

Taylor laughed. "Whatever."

"You have a duty or something?" Louis asked.

"A few patients. Yeah." She replied.

"Damn. The only time I get to see you again after years, you're busy." He complained. "Okay fine!" He raised both his hands. "I'm calm. Very very FREAKING CALM!!" he yelled the last part.

Everyone inside the elevator looked at Louis, Taylor giggled as Louis went under the glares of the people. "S-Sorry." he said quietly.

Taylor left the elevator, not really sure if Louis would follow her or not. She was just comforted by the thought she'd see him again. Once Louis got a trace of you, he'll never let you lose.

The rest of her shift went well. Buin the end, when she thought no one else would bug her, there was Louis inside her office. And the thing is, he rearranged the furniture and designs.

He faced Taylor with the most menacing grin, "Miss Swift, I believe I have an appointment with you.”

"What the hell did you do to my office?!" Taylor yelled, exasperated. She couldn't believe how in just a matter of few hours Louis had already changed a lot. Her office did not look like her old office at all, except for the U-shaped "desk and two chairs in front."

The frames on the walls are in a completely different style, on the left wall, the frames were aligned as the letter "L." The shelves were on the right wall with some plants near them, instead of being in the wall near the windows and the plants used to be in the entrance. The wall near the windows is now free from the vintage picture frames. The place was spotless clean, even her rug was clear from dust. Her books and magazines that are usually on her desk went back to the rack and the shelves. Her desk was the only thing untouched because she always leave it clean.

Taylor walked right to her desk with an annoyed look. "Literally? A paper airplane on my desk?" She asked. She knew Louis was trying to annoy her as always but _not this damn early!_ She picked up the paper airplane and threw it to Louis.

Louis had a serious businessman-like face. "I have no idea who put this there." he replied and put the paper airplane back to the desk.

She just scoffed. "What do you want?"

"We just bloody saw each other last night. Of course I wanted to spend some time with you. Honestly, is that how you --"

"Greet an old friend? Louis, of course not. I missed you, alright?" Taylor said in a soft voice. "But you didn't have to freaking rearrange my office! I mean what the hell!?" and then she freaked out in the end.

Louis laughed, "Aw! You should be proud, this one looked like my office downtown. Here..." He brought out his phone and showed Taylor an office like hers, only the windows are different, the carpet and the paint on the walls are different. Of course the jam on the desk, the books and the plants were different too. If Taylor didn't know any better, she'd think Louis just took a photo of her office and edited it. But since he always sucked at editing, Taylor believed Louis just arranged her office to looked like his.

"I don't even know if you did this out of care or you just want to annoy me."

"It's a bit of both, you honestly look cute all red." Louis cooed like she was a baby. "Like a red tomato. Aww."

Taylor grumbled, "I hate you."

"I hate you too. Don't worry, it's a love and hate relationship. Still, this office is excellent, like mine!" Louis said.

"Great, we're twins again." She mumbled sarcastically.

That's when Louis showed a mischievous smile, "Ahh, Neil is your twin, I'm your worst enemy."

"Are we gonna stay here in my office?" Taylor asked. "Admit it, it's not the best place for catching up."

"You just wanted to go to the café around the block, didn't you?" Louis laughed as he saw Taylor's reaction.

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms just below her chest. "Smart. Real--"

"Of course I knew, a Taylor Swift wouldn't settle anywhere without a coffee shop nearby."

"Shut-up. Tomlinson. You really need to shut up." She said, rather harshly but Louis is used to it. Besides, she just wanted it to sound harsh when in reality, she can't bear to hate him or even stay mad for a couple of hours.

Louis stood up, opened the door and gestured for Taylor to walk outside. "White Queen, aren't you coming?"

"No nicknames, I'm begging you." She said. Taylor sighed and ended up walking through the door with Louis behind her.

"No nicknames? Why not? That's the thing that built up our friendship in the first place."

 _Damn good point! He really needs to shut up._ Again, Taylor let herself sink in the silence as she didn't know what else to say.

"Don't be too quiet." Louis chuckled.

"I don't look back anymore." Taylor said, seriously this time. She walked quicker than Louis but he did his best to catch up.

"Ooh, did I just piss you off? Or is it just your red day?" He asked.

Taylor scoffed and walked faster. Louis still tried catching up. "Oh God, do you even have any idea how weird that sounds?"

"No, enlighten me with your speculations."

"Ugh, forget it. You're getting weirder and weirder by the second." She replied then walked straight to the end of the hallway.

Louis, on the other hand, had no trouble at all walking with her fast pace. He even managed to keep his menacing grin on his face. If Taylor could erase that grin, she wouldn't think twice in doing it, Louis annoys her too much.

"I still can't get used to the glasses though." He said, after a moment.

"Yeah, well it's either this or contacts." Taylor replied.

"You know, Niall too often use--"

Someone called Taylor, cutting Louis from whatever he was trying to say. He looked at the direction where the voice came from and his face wasn't pleasant at all. Somehow, it turned sour and just so-not Louis.

Taylor got worried all of a sudden. "Wh-Who--" she turned around only to see Cas Roxfer, the same old gray-eyes dude wearing a shirt and those silver dog tags wrapped up his neck and a simple brown torso.

"In all places." Louis said then muttered a few curses under his breath.

Taylor felt the sudden change in the atmosphere, one, because of Louis and two, the way him and Cas look at each other. Both looked like they met an old archenemy.

"Tomlinson, I'll be damned." Cas said with a dimpled smile, it seemed to piss Louis off a bit. Taylor had to step back since she is between the lads.

"Roxfer, always a pleasure." Louis muttered. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk either.

Taylor just got confused, she didn't know why these two know each other. And why do they look like they are about to have a fist to fist fight any moment now.

"Wait, you two know each other?" She asked.

"Kinda wondering why you knew _him._ " Cas said, in a tone somehow a little harsh. He never sounded like that before, or at least he never talked like that when he's around Taylor.

"Actually, Roxfer... if you don't mind, we'll just head out from here." Louis smiled then put an arm around her shoulders -like he always do. "Right, Miss Swift?"

Louis' mood cooled down now, Taylor could easily tell. But Cas, he is kind of a different story. His face eased now though which made Taylor feel relieved. And confused, he didn't even know if these two were bluffing or they just do that every time they meet.

Cas waited for her to say something.

"Yeah, were you going to say something?" Taylor asked. Louis let out a quiet groan only she was able to hear. It made her smile a bit.

Cas shook his head. "Just wanted to ask you something, but maybe I got you off in the wrong timing. Anyways, see ya around, Tay." He smiled, then turned away.

Taylor and Louis kept walking until they reached the elevator, luckily it was only the two of them so they got to talk well.

"What was that about?" She asked, out of curiosity.

Louis looked at her, smiling. "That? Don't worry, we weren't going to fight, if that's what you think." He replied.

For a second, she was dumbfounded but she thought she had to figure out more. "And?"

He sighed, "Well, that's the sort of greeting we always greet each other. We always end up coincidentally against each other during football matches. So, that kind of became a -- what do you call this, um, a tradition? Not sure if that's the best word for it." He answered.

Now Taylor remembered where she saw Cas. How in the hell have she missed it before? "Oh God, he was the one that kicked your left leg back in college, wasn't he? That was the time when me and E--"

"Yep. That was him. But anyways football days are over. In which case--" He paused seeing as two nurses wearing their all-blue outfit came in, both females. He cleared his throat then continued, "The bad blood days are over now."

Then Louis let out a mischievous smile, "Unless yours isn't." he mumbled quickly then laughed. He had to cover his mouth to stop himself from bursting out.

Taylor elbowed him. "Ugh, one of these days..."

She let it slide for a while. Both of them walked to the nearest cafe. They both went inside the nearby cafe, the one Taylor didn't need to read anything as she memorized everything about it, "Rach's Cafe" open from 5am to 12am, every shop nearby are oftentimes open for 24 hours, and that was the reason for the hours open.

Taylor swore she could go around the seats blindfolded but, who would wanna test that? She saw the cashier for this shift, Tessie, smiling as she saw Louis with Taylor. _The same old, "they're together."_ Shaking that thought out of her head, she sat down with Louis in front of her.

"I'll go get--" Taylor started to say but Louis shook his head.

"I'll go. What do you want?" Louis asked, he stood up and walked to the counter since it was only a few steps away. He didn't even wait for Taylor's answer. He, then said "Whatever I am having. It's still coffee, love."

"Whatever you want." She replied. _And you still had to ask._

Then they had their usual conversations, after all, a few years is a lot to catch up to.

"Wait, for over a year now? No boyfriend?" Louis asked, he actually repeated that for the third time.

"Do you even find that hard to believe? I'm like a vampire these days anyways. Asleep in the morning, and you know, awake every night." Taylor replied.

"Ooh, I find it hard to believe. Roxfer for one, had been eyeing you." Louis frowned a little, saying the name.

She smiled and said, "You seemed so down on Roxfer."

"I don't know. I just don't like it. Mind you, he once took an eye out for E--" He paused a bit, then continued, "El. Now you. Out of all people in the world, it had to be you who catch his eyes. He did seem as though he changed now. I've never seen that lad smile at all."

"He seemed nice enough. But promise, I'll take care." Taylor replied. "I've been meaning to ask though, why did Harry name his daughter --"

"Alison? Even I don't know. None of us do." Louis replied. "Speaking of kids, do you have any? Or any of you guys?"

Louis drank the last of his latte then answered, "Me and Danielle are still working on it, I had an issue with my dad, real one but that's a different subject. Niall is single, a bit of a playboy. Just a bit though, he only flirts a lot. Zayn got twins, a boy and a girl and Liam got two wonderful daughters, Hannah and Shanaia. Almost all of us settled here in NYC but Liam and Zayn. I go home to see Doncaster too but I've already settled here in NYC."

Taylor let it all sink for a second, she just had to realize that they we're no longer the band of misfits and troublemakers but very different people nowadays. It felt like an achievement.

"Wow." She said barely uttering a word after.

"I know."

They sat for a moment in comfortable silence until a question popped into Taylor's head.

"Hey, do you have any idea where Alison's blue eyes came from?" She asked, honestly, it's not something she would expect to a couple with the genes of having green eyes.

"Why don't you ask Harry that question?" Louis said, beginning the puzzles that usually leads Taylor in confusion.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she wondered, "Umm what do you mean?"

"Take a look at that tall guy behind you and find out."

Slowly, Taylor turned around.

Taylor turned her attention back to Louis as soon as she realized what she just saw. She wasn't nervous, or at least she thinks she's not, but her hands were shaking the entire time. She calmed down a bit.

_Louis... how--_

Why didn't Taylor see it earlier? It's Louis! There are only three options when you're with him: one, he's serious about what he is saying and this is the best trait of Louis. Two, he's semi-serious, he could take anything from the conversation and use it against you, he's always kidding around and trying to annoy you. Last and the very worst, everything he did, is a trap for his master plan. She hoped it isn't the last.

Taylor, honestly pissed off said, "I am seriously two seconds away from pouring this latte on your head."

"Oh, easy there, tiger." Then Louis smiled, "You saw him?"

That! That's practically the worst question he could ask right now. Taylor scoffed and said, "How would I? It's not Harry."

Louis laughed, "Oh goodness, I really had you there, didn't I?" He continued laughing then said, "Ten years, and you still keep falling for it."

"Ten years? Nope, twelve actually, including our highschool days. Twelve years and you still hadn't changed a bit." Taylor said.

"Oh, I have changed, just not around you." Louis replied. "Also, if I wanted to trap you to meet Harry again, then I probably would set it up IN Liz's room, honestly that would be a great scene. I'd pay anything to see that happe--"

"Thanks." She said, half grumbling but she was grateful about it. After all, meeting Liz while Niall is in the same room is one thing, but seeing Harry in the same room with Liz?! That is way beyond awkwardness and probably way beyond any definition of "awkward" she felt before.

"Shame though, I never got the opportunity because, well... I don't know if Niall told him or Liam but he goes to the hospital half an hour, or more after you leave. I would swear I never said anything." Louis replied, PROPERLY this time.

Taylor let out a slight smile and said, "Meet him, not meet him, what's the difference? I mean, surely, we won't be able to talk like properly and I'm not even sure if he wanted to catch up or--"

"You are just thinking he hates you until now. You know Harry, he wouldn't hold a grudge." Louis said, probably making her feel better. Wait, there's more... "That lad is too cheerful to hold a grudge for ten years, even if you crushed his soul, broke his spirit and shattered his heart into pieces. Nope, he wouldn't, not even if you let him walk away, cold and shivering in the rain when he asked for another chance and the real reason is you were just scared to get back with him, it's not time in distance, he knows that and also he wouldn't---"

"Alright, enough!" Taylor snapped. He's just making her feel more guilty of everything. Alright, she did all of those but no need to get back to the past. Besides, the blame shouldn't all be hers, it's not all her fault and she just chose the side that would hurt both of them less. Still, according to Louis' speech, she really did something horrible to the lad.

"I know what I did, okay? Please, it--it's not something I am proud of." She added and simply drank from her latte and said, "The question earlier, why do you think her eyes look like mine?"

"A theory? You want a theory?" Louis asked.

Taylor nodded.

He played first with his teaspoon then said, "I don't know, it was rather odd but I guess it's just fate. Fate is really playful, like me, I mean, if I was controlling both your lives, I wouldn't have done only that."

"Not sure if those are words of wisdom or one of your evil plans if you get to control my life." She replied.

"Let's just say it's a little bit of both. Aren't you coming home?" Louis asked all of a sudden.

"Wait, what?"

"Speaking of eyes, yours are getting drowsy, aren't you sleepy at all?" He asked, obviously staring at her eyes.

Taylor had to check herself if she felt even the slightest feeling of tired but, that was the thing, she just doesn't feel drowsy around Louis. With him, she feels a little more alive.

"No." She answered plainly.

"Are you sure? You look tired to me."

Taylor shook her head with a smile, "Trust me, Lou. I'm okay."

"Ha! I remember one of the last times I heard that from you was when you told me you were--" Louis paused, then Taylor just got a bit nervous because he would bring it up once again, in a cafe, just like the old times. "Wait, how's your erm--umm thing?"

"I had it all fixed three years ago, for the second time so... I'm good." Taylor said, at least with ease and that stopped her nervous attack.

"Well, thank God. You still look sleepy, though." Louis replied.

"I just look sleepy, but I am not."

"Nope, you need to sleep."

Then a random thought came into Taylor's mind. It made her smile the usual annoying smile, that kind that one of them – either her or Louis – would use if they've got a trick up their sleeve.

Louis just suddenly looked confused, somehow the tables have turned. "What? What did I say?”

"You just wanted to go see where I'm staying." Taylor joked but Louis' reaction somehow made her believe that what she just said was in his mind all along.

"Y-You smart little--"

Taylor finished up her cup and stood up. She finally put her coat on and said, "I'm just gonna go home now." She smiled and walked away.

It did seem rude, leaving the lad alone there, a bit confused but knowing Louis, he'd pretty much follow her.

She opened the glass door and walked straight outside, Louis of course, followed her. As usually, he broke no sweat from following Taylor. They we're quiet for the first couple of minutes but when they got to the parking lot.

"Umm, no, my car." Louis said, shutting Taylor's car door when she was about to open it fully.

"Like hell, my car is here right now." Taylor mumbled. She honestly don't get him, and the point of their argument but these just happen so often she just got used to it.

Louis let go of the door and leaned back on her car. His face, semi-serious.

Instead of going in already, Taylor took the moment to ask, "Why the face?"

"I don't know, I just-- I can't really leave my car here." He said, then smiled, knowing that Taylor would fall for it. Louis' one simple request with a smile would always catch her off guard.

"Ugh, but if we use your car, can I drive?" Taylor requested as she closed the door of her own car.

For a second, Louis look confused. "Umm, why? I mean, it's my car. My car, I drive that's the--"

Taylor smiled in an anxious way.

"What?" He whispered. "You still have it? After ten years?"

Taylor nodded hesitantly but it's just is, she can't lie to him.

He pulled his keys from his pocket and gave it to Taylor. He smiled, saying, "You're the boss, now."

Taylor smiled cheekily, her face beaming red as Louis put his right arm around her waist. "This is why I've stuck with you." She said.

The lad simply laughed. "Yeah, I love you too.”

That was it, Taylor drove Louis' car, which was actually uncomfortable for guys but he practically enjoyed it. It included Louis calling Taylor his driver every once in a while but that never bugged her. She laughed at almost every joke that got her. It was until Louis found her apartment.

They've talked for the whole few of hours, watched movies together until Taylor got so sleepy she just let Louis wander around her apartment while she was sleeping. _He'd mess it up._ But that's okay.

And then she woke up, with the heavy feeling as she saw the dark sky. The sun had already set, which could either mean she woke up in time or she's late for her shift. Groggily, she reached for her glasses on the desk and put them on.

"Lou?" She asked, her voice just bounced back to her because of the silence. Even with her glasses on, she couldn't see a thing, it was too dark.

"Lou, last time." She said. Still no response. She groaned, she hated that feeling of "trying to figure out if Louis was really there or he isn't at all."

Then she heard Louis muttering, or maybe singing quietly. She followed where the voice came from – which wasn't exactly hard to do.

"Light in your eyes, Olivia!" He said, carrying Meredith in his arms. Taylor laughed at him. "Why are you laughing? Me and Olivia are best friends now. Aren't we Olivia?" He cooed the last part to the cat.

Taylor snickered, "That's not Olivia, that's Meredith."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, and I'm going to my next shift now. You wanna come with?" Taylor asked.

"Nope, I gotta go see Danielle. But I'm still driving you there. Since your car is back at the hospital." He smiled then put Meredith down.

"Okay, but I won't make you sit on the passenger seat again, I'm good in the back seat, if you don't mind."

"You sure?"

"Yep."

Taylor did all she had to do in quick motions that they we're already driving down the hospital within fifteen minutes. She sat on the backseat, of course but her and Louis still had a good conversation.

He dropped her right at the side of the hospital. Louis threw his head out the window, looking at Taylor.

"Stay safe, Boobear." Taylor said, biting her lip.

"I missed that nickname, White Queen. I hope Dani meets you soon. Bye." He smiled.

"Bye, Lou." Taylor waved at him as his car sped back to the road.

Taylor walked inside the hospital, she greeted the security guard and almost everyone she knew as she made her way to the elevator.

Before she even got there, Taylor spotted someone, Alison, seated on one of those chairs near the wall. No hesitation, she went to her.

As usual, the cheery kid wore a sky blue, floral dress, with white doll shoes and stockings. For a second Taylor thought, _I'd probably do the same if I had a daughter like her._

"Hey, princess." Taylor said as soon as she was standing right in front of her.

Alison looked up with a smile, her red rosy cheeks bulging, also showing her one and only dimple on the left cheek. Her eyes lit up, probably showing a reflection of how Taylor's look right now.

"I was looking for you!" The child suddenly said.

"W-Wait, why?" Taylor asked.

"Mommy is okay now, and we're going home and I want to see you." Alison replied.

"Really?" Taylor sat beside her, she was wondering why she never thought about it twice. "I'm here, what do you want to say?"

"Umm, I just wanted to say goodbye." Much to Taylor's shock, the child seemed to be sad about that thought. What did she do to Alison? Why do she even feel attached to the child already? They never spent time together for too long, she's wondering why.

Taylor smiled, "Don't say goodbye, princess. I promise you, we'll see each other again. Okay?" She said, practically promising that she will be in _his_ life again, or she's already in it.

"Really? Yay!" Alison cheered.

“Alison."

No fear, nothing to lose, Taylor spun her head to where the voice came from. It got lower for the past ten years, but she'll recognize that voice anywhere.

There he was, Harry Styles standing six feet tall with his red jacket over a white t-shirt, black pants and brown boots. His demeanor showed the usual, serious-looking man, someone that will surely kill with his gaze. His hair is a lot shorter, some barely reached halfway his ear. Still, it was the mess-full of curls. He stood frozen, much more in place than Taylor is.

Standing with him was Mrs. Styles, finally out of her hospital clothes, wearing a loose green top.

"Daddy!!!" Alison cheered and ran to her father who was walking forward, his hand around Liz's waist. Harry, of course threw his arm around Alison, but...

His gaze fixed on Taylor, it killed her right there. A chill went down her spine as she observed his face. Like Louis, he seemed to be really tired, light wrinkles and creases already formed on his face, some nerves we're already showing up around his face and his bright green eyes had red lines crooked around them. Taylor couldn't decide if it was pity or something else churning around her stomach. _It was even much worse to see him like this._ It's not that she didn't liked to see him, Taylor loved the idea of how he moved on, with a beautiful wife and an amazing daughter. Yet, with him looking at her with an unreadable face, she didn't know what to do.

_Snap out of it, Taylor. Just snap out. Snap out._

"Oh Dr. Swift, there you are. Harry, you know her, right?" Liz asked Harry.

Harry lifted Alison in his arms and nodded. He glanced at Taylor for a while then said, "Y-Yeah. Come on, we need to go." He replied coldly, but saved it with a smile. It was obviously not a real smile as he seemed to be biting the insides of his cheek.

Taylor scoffed quietly, _some things just don't change, don't they? Who could blame him though?_ She shook a few thoughts out of her head and started walking away.

"Dr. Swift, wait!" Alison almost yelled. Still, with the childish and innocent tone. If only she knew what was going on.

Taylor stopped on her tracks, made the most "so-close" squinted face and spun around. She tried to keep her face as calm as possible, otherwise she'd end up being too rude.

"No, princess, she's a bit busy and we need to go." Harry whispered but it was not that hard to hear.

"Oh we could spare a few seconds, go ahead, sweetie." Liz said.

Harry couldn't do anything, he put down Alison and followed her with his eyes. Alison stared at her for a while then wrapped her little arms around Taylor. Her warmth radiated over Taylor and she felt a lot better, somehow that hug tells her that eventually, everything will be alright.

Taylor bent down and smiled. "Take care of them, okay? You're the doctor in your family, now." She said, but only a few words echoed in her mind. _Take care of them, take care of them, take care of them, take care of them._

 _"_ And tell daddy, I said 'Hey'." She added.

Did it mean she is finally, officially letting go? She moved on, but the difference is, right here, right now was her proof that she had been free from it years ago, this was the proof to herself, no more questions asked. She already let go.

She found the same bright blue eyes staring at her before Alison wrapped her arms around her. "I promise. I'll see you again, Dr. Swift!" Alison said before letting go and running back to her family.

Taylor smiled at the family, never bothering to lock eyes with anyone, two smiled back, one just slightly pulled his lips upward but turned his attention to something else. That didn't matter to Taylor, all she knew is that she felt something inside her, something that made her feel so much more alright as she walked away, she just realized she didn't feel heavy anymore, the weight, holding her back all those years she thought it was on her chest for a long time but in reality, it was long gone, she just didn't realize it until now. She moved on, they both did. That is where their story ended, that is how it ends.

The story is over now, the end.


	4. Chapter 3

Over the next two weeks, everything went along fine. Taylor often got visits from the lads and some of their old friends, especially Eleanor. Except for Zayn, Liam and Harry. She finally got to meet Danielle Campbell, Louis' girlfriend and as Taylor expected, she was outgoing and cheery, too cheery Taylor would often tease Louis about it since that had been their "hobby" now, teasing about their exes. Her work is fine now, Taylor still had the night shift but it was alright, the wee hours were quieter anyways.

As of Harry and his new family, well, Taylor never got anything so it was fine. She wasn't expecting an update anyways. By Harry's cold tone two weeks ago, she knew it wouldn't work well if they see each other often.

Here she is again, hanging inside her apartment, she spent most of her time sleeping but right now, she couldn't. For a while, she just enjoyed her glasses-free life.

Then she got a call, she didn't bother looking at the name since she could just slide her finger across the screen and press the green button, then find out who the caller is later.

"Hello?"

"Miss Swift." _Okay, who is this?!_ No honestly, Taylor didn't know.

"I'm sorry, wh--"

"This is Cas, the one who accidentally elbowed you and--"

Taylor face palmed. "Y-Yeah, I know. Sorry, I didn't realize it sooner. So why the call all of a sudden?" In the back of her mind, it rung about Louis' warning when it came to Cas, just a few days ago. Louis said "no" but also said that the final decision was hers.

"Nothing, it just gets boring here in the room. Mom is improving every day." Cas said.

Taylor smiled. "Y-Yeah, tell her to keep it up. Hope she have a longer life than mine."

"Ooh, what's with the tone?"

"I'm sorry, what tone?" She asked.

"I don't know, it just sent negativity to me." Cas replied.

Out of all the people, the one who would detect negativity and a simple statement would be a hot-headed ex-football player. "Negative? How, me dying first? That's not negative, I think it's alright to say that type of statement because, well, it's usually interpreted as a nice thing to say, I guess. That's why I say a lot."

"Okay... Th-That's, okay want to hang out or something? On Monday? That's your day off right? Can we? A movie or something." He asked.

She bit her lip, but answered anyways. "Sure, on Monday." Taylor said.

"Well, finally.”

"Had it been hard to ask me out?" Taylor laughed, she didn't know why, it could have been an inside joke.

"No, it's just you seem to be always busy, whenever I try, I'd see you with Tomlinson." Cas said.

 _Oh yeah._ "He's my best friend, what do you expect?"

"That'll be really hard on my side, do you know that?" Cas replied. Taylor got some sort of funny feeling that he is serious about this. She even wondered how Cas is single... Or is he? "You know, because if I like this girl, and her best friend was my old archenemy, that's kind of a rough patch. I'm not saying I'm giving up though" he confessed. _OVER THE PHONE!_

"B-But Cas -- are you even sure about this?" Taylor asked. Yes, she didn't know what to say. She's used to it, too but it kinda felt weirder over the phone. _Like come on dude, you can't blame me for thinking of something else, how would I know if you are dead serious?!_

There... Right there was Taylor's weird side catching up to her. She shook every weird thought and tried to keep herself, even in her own thought, a little more polite.

"I know, no eye contact, you wouldn't know if I'm serious. But trust me, darling... I am. See you on Monday." Cas said.

"Okay. See ya." Taylor replied before Cas ended the call.

Monday is still two days from now, and Taylor can do anything within that time. She would want to go home to Nashville, check up on her family but she guessed she could just do that in the holidays, it's still early October though, she had no plans yet.

Taylor closed her eyes and slept. Well, after a while, Louis came in, screaming.

Taylor was of course, all groggy but still she managed to be up and put her glasses on. Louis hopped up and down on her bed with the biggest grin while screaming her name.

"TAYLOR!! TAYLOR!! TAYLOR, TAYLOR TAYLOR TAYLORRRRR!!!" He yelled, Taylor had to cover her ears and push Louis away.

"God! Stop it!" She mumbled and put a pillow over her head. He quieted down, but still he was right there, on all fours but he barely touched Taylor. His face was close to her head, but not _that_ intimate type of close. Eventually when Taylor removed the pillow, she ended up looking at Louis–who was grinning very broadly and looked like a six year-old, her vision was still blurred despite the fact that she is already wearing glasses. "And who the hell gave you keys?”

He's wearing casual clothes, like a uniform and she guessed Louis just came from the university he's teaching in. The question is, why'd he go straight here?

Louis lied beside her, his hands behind his head while smiling. "Ever notice how your key chain had two keys, now there's only one?"

"Oh?" She let the silence sink in for a while then asked, "Then why are you here?"

"You didn't tell me you saw Harry that night I dropped you off, two weeks ago." He said.

She sighed, "Nothing happened anyways. We didn't even talk."

"Oh? That ruined the suspense a bit." Louis said, then suddenly they were back in silence.

She smiled as Louis fixed himself to level up to Taylor. But she knew he could never really _level_ up to her. "That was a long time ago."

"Yeah, past is past, like you said many times. Though, I have no idea why Alison is kind of attached to you, you never even spent more than a few minutes with her." Louis said, he even added a chuckle at the very end of it.

 _Guess I'll just have to come clean._ "That's not entirely true." She said, her voice suddenly dreamy.

"What?"

"I actually spent almost a whole night with her, that was I think, when you arranged my office." Taylor replied, she smiled cheekily after.

"Whoa... No wonder why she seemed like she knew a lot. All she ever talks about when I'm with her, is you."

Taylor was quiet for a while then said, "So you just came here to talk like that? Where do you live anyways?"

"Not so near, 'bout a couples of streets and yeah, I came here to talk. Dani met Eleanor, personally for the first time."

"Really? When?" Taylor asked, _that sneaky little-- how come she never told me?!_

"Eh, just yesterday, she's still lovely you know? But, we never talked, only her and Dani." Louis stated.

"Do you still--"

"No, I don't hate her. Though as I said before, I don't think we could be friends." he replied. Taylor had a slight thought that it might be the same kind of thing Harry is feeling, or felt.

She let Louis figure out why she turned silent. It's an odd way for communicating but they do it often.

"It's not so bad, Taylor. Oftentimes, I'd think it's for the best, we'll leave each other with our normal lives, bump into each other sometimes and maybe chat around but that's enough, you know to avoid any odd feelings, not old feelings, odd feelings." Louis smiled, looking down at her.

"Okay?"

"And also, I'm here because I won't be able to visit like I did for the past weeks. I'll be a bit busy, if you don't mind."

She smiled, "Does that mean my next weeks will be quiet?"

Louis faked an insulted face. "You're kinda missing the point."

"Oh I'm not. Also, can't you like make a call instead?"

"Nope, and we're contacting Momma and Daddy Swift back in Nashville."

 _Well, I always wanted to do that but..._ "What for?" Taylor said, imitating Lou's accent.

"Duh, you gotta contact them every once in a while and also, are you free this Christmas? Cause I never got to spend Christmas with you." Louis replied.

"Okay, what about Dani? Can't she come too?"

"Oh yea, I would love Dani to come. Can she, Tay?" He asked with puppy dog eyes.

Taylor sat up and pushed his face away. "Yeah, don't beg it's weird."

They both contacted Taylor's family back in Nashville. Luckily, they managed to contact Andrea Swift, Taylor's mom over live chat, using her laptop.

"Hi mum!"

Louis said, making Taylor roll her eyes. She should've been first in saying that.

"Hello sweeties!" Andrea replied back.

Louis' eyes glimmered in his shining moment, he just made Taylor feel more outside, which was another way of annoying her.

"Mom, your outside son is annoying me again." she mumbled. "Anyways, how are you? I'm sorry I haven't called these past few days."

"Oh it's okay, hun. We know you're busy." Andrea replied. "How did you manage to find him again?"

 _I'm sorry, what?_ Taylor was trying to decide who her mom was talking about _him_ or another _him._

Confused, she uttered nothing but. "Huh?"

"Me!" Louis emphasized. "She was talking about _me._ " His eyes widened as he gritted his teeth at the last word.

"Sorry mom, he just-- how did you end up back in my life again?" Taylor asked, she forgot, her mind didn't work well.

Louis let out a disgusted face. "Never mind how I entered, anyways, Mrs. Swift, can I please spend Christmas there, this year? You don't have to worry about gifts, I'd even give one to Aussie." He said, returning back to the normal mischievous face.

"Don't let him." Taylor said, as a joke.

"I'd love that, Louis. You should, invite your girl too, if you have one." Andrea smiled.

"Oh he's got a girl alright." Taylor said, turning away from the camera to hide the most sour face she could muster at the moment.

"Yes, Mrs. Swift, indeed I do. Taylor's just jealous here because she's not my girlfriend like Dani." Louis mumbled even though he knew that it's not true.

Andrea laughed at her two "children."

"Don't listen to him, mom. I would have been if I wanted to, but I don't."

"Pshh, you wish you could charm me like I did to you." he replied in a sarcastic tone.

Taylor answered back mockingly, "Like they even worked."

"Hey, you stuck with me this far. Realize that, blonde."

"Brunette."

“Weirdo."

They never even realized it but both their voices are getting louder, forgetting the fact that they are still talking to Andrea.

"Carrot chomper."

"Hey! That was below the belt!" Louis yelled. Taylor didn't even know it was that insulting.

That's when Andrea entered the conversation again, she's still smiling though as she knew both of them were just fooling around.

"Okay, that's enough. I need to go, sweeties. See you both on Christmas."

"Bye mom, love you!" Taylor said.

"Love ya, Mrs. Swift!"

"Oh I love the both of you too! Okay, I'm hanging up, bye." That is when Andrea Swift ended the call, leaving the two back in their mockery.

A few minutes of nonstop bickering, they finally let themselves sink in silence. They talked about their lives now, their problems, almost everything. It was definitely a nice, normal conversation, just between two friends. It was like they used to in the old times.

And then, Taylor accidentally mentioned about going out with Cas on Monday.

"Not gonna happen."

He said, even made his face serious and shook his face.

"Never. Going. To. Happen.”

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

It _almost_ happened.

Monday came around too quickly that the next thing she knew, she was already driving her car through the streets of New York, searching for the place Cas told her to go.

Taylor wore a faded blue, slightly checkered top with long sleeves and a dark brown colored skirt, not too revealing though, it'll make her look like she had intentions for Cas. She matched it with flats –a bit of an odd choice but, she decided to just go along with it– and a small bag which, is often her style when she goes out, with or without someone.

She thought maybe Louis scheduled the weather for today because it had been raining on and off for hours. Good thing Taylor brought her umbrella and a long caramel-colored coat.

Her and Cas had agreed that they would meet up at ten am but the funny thing is, Taylor decided to go earlier than that because she knew she'd be lost. She never heard of the "HFS" building before and neither had she heard of any place around it, it was an unfamiliar place for her.

She parked her car in some parking lot near a bakery and a salon then called up Cas, this time, she wore her coat and carried her umbrella with her.

"T-Taylor, hey--"

"Cas, can I ask you something?" Taylor asked.

"Yeah, sure." The lad replied with what seemed to be delight.

"Okay, where's the building again? I really really really don't want to get lost." She said, walking past the crowd, some with umbrellas, some with just long coats or jackets. She would bump with a few people occasionally and of course, she would apologize for it.

Taylor heard Cas laughing from the other line. "I knew I should have picked you up instead."

"Well, no time for that now. Where please?"

"Somewhere, okay where are you right now?" Cas asked.

"Umm, I've just parked my car somewhere near a salon, _Hannah's Style Salon,_ " Taylor flinched a little saying the name then gulped and continued, "And a bakery or like a muffin store, didn't take time to actually know."

Cas laughed again. "You're completely lost, you are six blocks away."

"Fudge what?!" Taylor yelled then calmed herself. "Okay, sorry for reacting like that. Just give me directions.”

It started raining lightly again so Taylor had to open up her umbrella while waiting for Cas to answer. She stopped on her tracks and went back to where she was earlier.

"Let's see, um, go back to the parking lot and there should be a crossing there go left then take another left on third." Cas replied.

"Thank God for clearing that up." She said, making it sound like she was relieved.

"I'm actually confused why you got lost, I told you just take the tenth and it's a straight shot to HFS, not all people get confused when they're told to go in only one direction." Cas said, and much to her disappointment, he emphasized the last two words.

Taylor rolled her eyes and scoffed, honestly, she felt like it was Louis talking to her.. "Gee, thanks." She replied sarcastically.

"No prob. See you there." Cas said and hung up.

Not even realizing she was smiling all along, Taylor made her way back to the parking lot. She just realized there had been a stupid grin her face when she saw her blurry reflection on a puddle.

"No." She muttered, trying to think why.

She was filled with random thoughts, not a care about the world around her. Well, it was until she saw something from the corner of her eyes.

She took a moment to respond well, but her eyes aren't tricking her at all. She was at least more than ten meters away from Taylor.

A child, with long wavy brown hair wearing a white floral dress and light pink boots. _Oh no, oh no no no..._ Taylor's heart raced as the child turned around, no doubt, even by the distance she could recognize that girl anytime. Alison was right there, looking around, her face red because of what Taylor assumed were tears and she had probably been crying and she was standing at the side of the road but she kept walking forward, it wasn't even a pedestrian lane.

She acted up in her instincts, she can't let that child walk across a street, regardless who she is and her relation to her. Instead of going to her car, Taylor just dropped everything and walked quickly to Alison. She can't be wrong, who wouldn't recognize their own eyes?! More than a million thoughts flowed through her head like a waterfall but she only got to listen to a few.

_What is she doing here?_

_Why is she alone?_

_Are you even sure it's her, Taylor?_

_Because if she is, WHY IN THE HELL WOULD HARRY STYLES LEAVE HIS DAUGHTER ALONE!?_

_The child is crying, there can't be another reason unless she's---_ -

Taylor didn't have time to finish that last thought. She heard a long horn, from sixteen wheeler truck... the bad? It's right on the lane where Alison is walking. What's worst? Alison didn't seem to mind it since she wasn't listening.

Taylor's heart raced even faster, maybe twice as fast as her feet are running right now, she could slip, fall, stumble, maybe even get hit by the truck itself but none of it mattered. She didn't even bother apologizing to the people she bumped on the way, she just wanted to get the child away from the truck and the street.

The last thing Taylor thought before her flats landed the street was, _Taylor, what are you even doing?_

She heard the loud blaring horn right near her ears it almost echoed, it would have echoed if she had the time to get it on her mind, unfortunately, she didn't.

She felt the wind running wild below her feet. The ground behind her was cold, and really wet that she could feel it spreading across her coat. Wrapped inside her pale arms was Alison, Taylor could hear her sobbing, adding to the wetness.

_She's okay, she's okay, she's okay._

_But are you?_

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back to the concrete. She had to admit, that one hurt like hell. Especially on her back and ribcage.

_Ouch._

_Least it stopped raining._

"Physically fine." Taylor mumbled and groaned as she tried to stand up. She never realized that Alison was that heavy until know.

Taylor walked Alison to the side of the road and to the nearest bench. Her whole body ached and stung for a while and thought she probably fractured her rib but she didn't have a second to think about it. She had to focus on the child in front of her, the one crying so badly her face was all red.

Taylor removed her coat, and laid it beside her as she faced Alison. She was still crying like she didn't even realized she got almost hit by a truck.

Taylor wanted to say something but she noticed the truck pulled at the side and the driver running back to them.

There came a man at least fifty wearing suspenders and a cowboy hat, he had graying hair and a messy moustache.

"I'm sorry, young lady, I apologize for any inconvenience." The man said to Taylor.

She felt so shy right now, she just wanted to shrink, she also wanted for Alison to stop crying so she wrapped her right arm around her and kept her inside the hug.

"Please calm down." She whispered then turned her attention back to the man.

"No harm no foul, sir." Taylor smiled. She was honestly grateful that the man still came back unlike some who would actually just leave them.

"Is there anything I could do for you and your daughter, ma'am?" The old man asked kindly.

She admired his kindness but realized she didn't need it since it wasn't exactly his fault. She shook her head. "No, please. If there's anything else you need to do, it's continue your job, sir. We're alright.”

"Okie-doke. Thank you ma'am." The old man replied.

"Godspeed, sir."

“God bless you and your daughter, ma'am." He smiled before running off. Taylor just saw the truck vanish from her sight then she turned her focus back on Alison, who was still crying in her arms.

She sighed, she knew still have a problem facing her.

"Kid..." Taylor called but she got no response. "Kid, come on." She whispered, though, it's not the best way to approach a crying child.

"Come on, kid. I need you talk to me." She added. "Please."

Then she thought maybe she'd try a different approach. It's a child after all, and she still hasn't memorized Alison. Or at least, she just hadn't seen her cry before.

Taylor knelt down in front of her, never caring about the bystanders. "Alison, can you please look at me? It's Dr. Swift." She whispered almost as gently as a mother would talk to her child.

Something inside Taylor lit up as she saw the mirror of her eyes look at her. There was a warm fuzzy feeling sparking inside Taylor as she saw the kid wipe her tears.

"Doctor--- Swift?" Alison softly asked. Her face lit up too, she wiped her tears and suddenly hugged Taylor.

_Okay, I wasn't expecting that one._

Then Alison let go. Taylor didn't know what to mention at all...

"Uhmm, wh-what were you doing here, princess? Where's your mommy and daddy?" She asked, her tone very gently. She sat beside Alison and waited for her response.

"I don't know... can you please help me find them?" The child asked, she pleaded with puppy blue eyes. Her eyes widened and emphasized how hers are the same with Taylor's.

"Yeah." Taylor said, she had nothing to do anyways. Or does she?

She and Alison started walking around, Alison pointing where she and her parents came from. They kept walking until it rained again. Taylor decided to carry Alison then opened her umbrella.

 _Are you really trying to find her parents? Wow, never knew you were that compassionate to your ex._ Taylor rolled her eyes at her own thought and just kept walking. Never mind the ex thing, never mind the patient thing never mind the doctor thing, the truth is, she's lost and she's just going to return her back to her parents, like what she would do regardless who the child is.

They continued strolling around without Taylor noticing the time. Her phone rang but even with Alison in her arms, Taylor managed to answer it.

"H-Hey?"

"Was wondering if you got there yet." Cas said.

Taylor mentally facepalmed, "Ohhhh, shh--" she stopped herself from what she was about to say. "I'm so sorry, I'm really really really sorry Cas. Where are you?" She asked.

"Was about to apologize because I'm running a bit late, I mean, I'm sorry, I still have to check up on mom first. I'm sorry to keep you waiting." Cas replied.

"Actually... about that." Taylor trailed on, her voice guilty as ever.

Cas laughed from the other line like he did earlier. "Oh no, shoot, pull the trigger."

"I got some... thing that sorta came up. It's not something personal, I'm really sorry. It's something like related to work, maybe but--" Taylor blurted out but how will she explain it?

"Sorry, I did not understand anything." Cas said.

"I'm not avoiding, Cas. I was really planning to go, but--"

"Dr. Swift, we're here again." Alison said.

Taylor knew Cas heard it. They were both quiet for second, awkwardness filled the line.

"Who's the kid?" Cas asked.

"Cas, please. I promise I'll explain... just not now. And I'm sorry I won't be able to go. I am so sorry." Taylor said, losing count on how many times she already apologized.

"I got it, don't worry." He said.

"Goodness, thanks. And I'm really sorry. I hope I can make it up to you."

"We'll talk about that, bye Taylor." Cas said and ended the call. It's official, Taylor sounded like he owned something to Cas, probably a little but not a really big favor.

Then she shook Cas out of her head and looked around, she realized they were back in the parking lot.

"Kid, do you think we could get a break for a while?" Taylor asked, she was slightly tired of walking, and getting slightly sprinkled with rain. She looked around and saw the bakery, _perfect._ "I like bagels, do you like bagels?"

Alison nodded, as though saying "yes please" with a cheeky, dimpled grin.

_Okay, so what do I do?_

Outside, Taylor was just a blonde woman sitting across a young child, both having a normal conversation while eating the bagels in the box between them. Though inside, she was this panicking girl who don't even know what to do. Inside her mind, she was screaming, she was almost ready to break down because she thought she would lose her mind. How would she know how to handle the situation?

Since, her mind wasn't really helping her that much, she just decided to talk to Alison while trying to figure out how she is going to reach her parents. First off, she didn't know their address, (not that she wanted to know) and their numbers.

"Alison." She called.

Alison looked up, her lips dusted with the white powder on the bagel she was eating. "Hmmm?"

"Do you know your parents' number?" Taylor asked, it was a stupid question but she'd rather take the chance than not take it at all.

Alison shook her head 'no' so Taylor somehow lost one of her ideas. "So how are we going to find them?" _Last time I checked we tried, for almost thirty minutes._ Okay, that was another stupid thing to ask, but she's desperate.

Then she looked outside, trying to calm herself by the scenery, the clouds, as it rained again, a bit harder this time. That soother her a bit.

"I swear, Louis is controlling the weather." She mumbled to herself then sat silently for a while as her mind sucked in the ideas, _Louis!_

He was the only one in her phonebook that knows Harry's number, and Louis' -out of all the lads'- was the only number she was able to get.

She called him up immediately. "Come on, pick up... come on, pick up." She repeated the same old words but he cannot be reached. She tried again, then again, then again... she was getting very frustrated she decided to stop.

"Dr. Swift?" Alison finally spoke.

Taylor found a way to ease herself as her gaze landed back on Alison, she didn't forget she was there, she just felt odd knowing she would talk to her openly.

“Hmm?"

"Can I see Meredith and Olivia now?" She asked. Seeing as Taylor was talking to a child, she tried to understand and she reminded herself that she had been through a lot of kids and they all have these weird desires no grown-up could understand.

"I d-didn't bring them with me." She said. "They're back at my house." _Correction, apartment._

"Can't we go there?"

Taylor shook her head and said, "No, I'm sorry princess, we can't."

She watched as she saw disappointment fill the child inside and out. Alison bowed her head and fiddled with her small fingers, but before she did, Taylor saw some sort of sadness spark in her electric eyes.

She couldn't understand why or how Alison trusts her this much, or maybe the child is just like that around adults. The thing is, Taylor saw how she affected the child, she just said "no"... she was a stranger, she was just a doctor, a random person she could meet every day, but how come Alison looks at her and she'd feel like she had the effect on her?

"Hey." Taylor said, very softly and soothing. "Alison, can you please look at me, princess?"

Alison obeyed, yet her face was unreadable.

"You have to understand, princess. I have to ask permission from your parents first. Beyond that, I promise you can visit me anytime but only if your parents know. I promise, you'll get to visit one day. Do you understand?" Taylor said, she had made a draft speech in her mind about explaining the concept of kidnapping to the child but she'd rather not say it. She just came up with this instead though she have no idea how the child would react.

Alison, then, smiled and said, "Yes, Dr. Swift."

It made Taylor smile too. "Thank you very much, now give me a second." She said before turning her attention to her phone. She send a couple - _nope, a lot -_ of text messages to Louis. She wanted to contact Niall, really but she forgot to get his number, Liam? Louis never gave Liam's number no matter how hard she begged for it. It was his game, Taylor was never annoyed until now.

She read her messages back:

_> > Lou, help._

_> > Please..._

_> > Reply asap_

_> > I'm serious._

_> > Hellllppppp_

_> > Louis William Tomlinson, this is not the time to laugh first_

_> > Please, Louis reply._

_> > You have no idea._

_> > Help Lou. Helppp_

_> > C'mon I'm desperate af._

Taylor was slightly relieved when Louis replied.

_> > Yes?_

Then she replied.

_> > Can I have Liz's number?_

_> > What for?_

_> > Hang on, I'm calling you._

Then Taylor dialed Louis' number as quickly as she could.

"Louis, please help me. Alison is here, yes Alison Styles and I don't know what to do, I can't call her parents, I don't know their addresses so please help." She blabbered out very quickly.

"Oh bloody hell, Taylor. I'm sorry, I'm seriously in a situation, I can't just leave this second. Call them up, I'll send you their numbers." Louis said.

"Oh God, thank you." Taylor sighed in relief.

"Welcome... and what's that noise?”

She heard the beeping sound but she never thought she'd hear it in this unfortunate time. _Oh no..._ Taylor was so caught up in texting and reaching out for Louis that she didn't notice her battery percentage is down to two percent.

"Battery's dying. Lou, I need to go." Taylor said in a rush.

"W-Wait!" She could almost hear Louis' loud yell.

"What? Hurry." She mumbled.

"Just wait a second."

"What?" She was getting a bit worried. She knew her battery went down to one percent because it beeped again.

"Nothing, I was just stalling. Have fun with Alison, okay? Okay? Love you." Louis cooed and sent phone kisses, causing Taylor to groan and scoff unbelievably.

_I hate you, Louis. I hate you, Louis. I hate you, Louis._

It was probably a matter of seconds or minutes before her batter dies out. She received a text from Louis. There were two different phone numbers that are there and without a name. There was also text in the last part saying:

_> > Have fun guessing which one to call. Love you, White Queen. :)_

And that was when her phone blacked out. _Fudge no._

She thought about it for a second, her options, what she'd do, and how she could make her plans come true. Frustrate, she took a bite out of her bagel.

She can't really charge anywhere here because she didn't bring her charger, meaning she can't call them. She didn't know their addresses which is another bummer. Then she just suddenly thought of an idea...

"Alison." She called.

"Yes, Dr. Swift?" Alison replied, smiling, still with the powder on her face.

"I've changed my mind. Would you like to come see Olivia and Meredith?" Taylor asked calmly, hoping Alison wouldn't question what she just said.

"But you said—"

"We'll tell them, I promise. So do you want to?" She asked, waiting for an answer.

Taylor watched her every move. Alison munched through the rest of her bagel and wiped her mouth. Her face lit up brightly and then cheered, "Yay!"

It made Taylor smile. She closed the box and grabbed her keys from her bag. She stood up, with her bag, the box and the keys in one arm while she reached the right to Alison. Of course, she waited for her to hold her hand.

Alison reached out and held Taylor's hand with a cheeky smile on her face. They both walked to Taylor's car and she let Alison sit on the passenger's seat. This was the first time she let a child sit in here, in fact, she rarely had another person sit in her car. The feeling was nice, really. And it's in the fact that she could imagine she was her’s, even for a while.

She held Alison's hand tightly when they got to her apartment. She closed the door behind her and told Alison to do whatever she wanted who, went directly to the cats.

Taylor on the other hand, plugged her phone up real quick and sat on her bed, thinking of how much trouble she just got herself into. Not big physical trouble but huge emotional, psychological trouble. She'd going to over think things again and assume the worst.

She heard Alison sneezing continuously as she booted her phone up. "Alison, you okay?”

Alison came to her so-called bedroom while wiping her nose. "Yes." She answered innocently. "As-asthma?"

"Oh shhhh---geez." Taylor let go of her phone and rushed to the kitchen to get Alison some water. She gave the glass to Alison and went back to her phone.

Alison, on the other hand, being the child she is, played with the cats continuously as soon as she finished the glass. "Dr. Swift, Olivia is on the shelf."

Taylor didn't mind looking at her as she was focused on dialing the other number. "She can come down."

"Things are dropping." Alison said.

"Don't mind it princess, I'll have it fixed later." She said and listened to the ring from the other line. She was slightly worried about what was going on with the shelf, Alison and her cats right now since she's hearing a lot of stuff dropping but they weren't that heavy to damage or get damaged.

"You and daddy have the same necklace." Alison's voice echoed in Taylor's ears she just suddenly lost focus.

Her entire world slowed down, she heard what she said crystal clear, still she questions if she heard it right. She dropped her phone, good thing the cord was short and strong enough to leave the phone hanging.

She turned around, asking "What did you say?"

There wasn't a need for an answer in that question, she saw Alison, on her feet were dropped books small stuffed toys and a few boxes. But in her hands, was the paper airplane necklace. She was staring directly at the silver chain then smiled at Taylor.

"Daddy have this necklace too." Alison said.

_I know he does, but how would his daughter know about it if he hadn't worn it or showed it to her at least once? Oh my God, having Alison in my life complicated it a little more._

Little did she know, Taylor was frozen for almost a minute, staring horrified at the child. Her mind was in blurs and she couldn't think of something else.

"I--uh... W-Well, is-is ---" then she fixed herself, knowing it wouldn't really do good if she didn't respond. "Aliso, can you please put it back in the box? Come on, princess. Just sit here on the bed for a while." She dialed the number again and waited for the answer.

Alison did as told and sat on the bed. She stared in mystique at Taylor who doesn't want to look back. Taylor didn't want to hear things either, yet the little girl's sentence made it to her easily. "Daddy said maybe one day he would find the other one. Can I tell that the other pair is here with you?"

"No." Taylor answered sternly then she realized she was talking to that child. "I mean, no. There's a lot like that in the world."

"Oh okay." Alison answered, slightly disappointed.

Taylor didn't want to keep this kind of the conversation with the child and picked up everything on the floor while she was waiting for the answer. She managed to get them back the way they were. Even the paper airplane, though she could see Alison's eyes intently watching that necklace. Taylor find it hard to believe that this child was able to see things she had been hiding in a long time now. And she's not just referring to the necklace, she got to see Taylor's feelings about it. Despite her innocence, she already has experienced a lot.

And finally, someone answered the call.

"Yes, I'll be right there." Taylor said, ending the conversation. She turned her phone off and started searching for Alison –which isn't really hard to do.

Taylor had only talked to Mrs. Elizabeth Styles, who was worried but now relieved that it had been her who found Alison. Harry might not be too relieved but she wouldn't care about it. As long as she isn't doing anything wrong, she could easily shake him out of her mind.

They agreed to meet up at a park so Taylor took another coat from her pocket and told Alison that she's going to see her parents.

Alison cheered in the most childish manner and then stopped, saying "Can Olivia come, and Meredith too?"

Taylor just noticed both cats were playing with Alison which made her smile. She doesn't bring her cats outside but for today, she'd make an exception. "We can't bring both, princess."

"But one will be sad."

"Trust me, both of them enjoys it here. Just pick one.

Alison was still smiling, "Hmm, Meredith." She said.

"Sure, come on." Taylor said. Alison carried Meredith like the cat was actually hers, even inside the car, the cat was sitting on her lap.

She drove slowly, she wouldn't want an anxiety attack with a child inside her car. Her and Alison had casual talks but it dreaded her to somehow feel like she didn't want the ride to end. She loved how Alison is too adorable and too lovable she almost wished she was hers. Unfortunately, she isn't... Alison wasn't hers, and will never be hers.

She thought maybe if she hadn't let go back then----

_Oh no no no, NO!_

Taylor was blinded by a flash again.

Nothing, it was just the white flash. Still, she couldn't move and her heart beated fast she couldn't keep up with her breathing.

_Taylor, get out... find a way._

"Uhh, Dr. Swift?" Alison's voice echoed inside her head as she snapped back to reality, her breathing and heartbeat was uneven but she made a way to calm herself, she noticed they were going in a high speed but luckily, they haven't crashed into something or changed lanes.

"Y-Yes?" Taylor shakily answered.

"Nothing." Alison replied.

She was glad Alison didn't ask any more questions, she wouldn't want to tell the truth about it. She kept quiet along the way. Taylor kept her mind off everything, including Alison, she just doesn't want to get distracted right now. Not now.

Then, they arrived at the park. Though a bit wet, Alison and her sat together on the bench as they played with Meredith. They both didn't talk much, they just played.

After a while, Taylor had that dreading feeling wash over her as a black Rover pulled over. It was familiar but she couldn't dig up her memory enough, she was too focused in the fact that it could be Alison's parents.

And they are.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Alison yelled. Taylor took Meredith from her as she ran to her parents. They all hugged like they haven't seen each other in years.

_What a sight._

Taylor thought she'd rather not steal the moment. She carried Meredith and put her inside her car which wasn't more than a couple of meters away. She almost walked around the car to get in when she heard Elizabeth Styles call her.

She faced them, the Styles family. As much as she was okay with it, there was still the deep feeling in her gut that she shouldn't even be there spoiling the moment at all.

"Yes?" She asked, her tone polite enough despite the sarcastic tones inside her head.

"Thank you." Liz said, she walked towards Taylor while Harry and Alison had no choice but to follow.

Taylor smiled, she shifted her eyes from Liz to Harry, his face was blankly staring at her so she just ignored it.

"Please don't mention it.”

Harry took Alison and carried her with one arm. "Rather not. Come on, Liz." He said, uninterested that his daughter was returned by Taylor.

Liz whispered stuff to Harry, by the tone, she was scolding him... but that's none of Taylor's business.

"Fine." Harry grumbled in a voice not too friendly. "You two go ahead, then." Liz agreed and led Alison to their car, the Range Rover.

He turned his attention towards Taylor. "I have no idea why you keep getting inside my life." Harry said, like it was a bad thing. He almost grumbled it ungratefully.

"I'm just here to drop her off, I'm not exactly entering your life." Taylor muttered. Which was true, if Harry made a different meaning for it, that's not her fault anymore.

"Appears to me like you already have." He said, in a tone which is so unlike him.

"God, are you still mad at me?" Taylor asked.

Harry smiled, Taylor was actually surprised it was the pleased smile rather than the sarcastic one. "No. I'm just wondering why. Also, it took you almost an hour to get Alison back?"

"The first thirty minutes was me walking around New York while trying to find her parents." Taylor explained. "Luckily, I found a way. Forget it ever happened. Just forget about it, please."

Harry chuckled, "Sure." He said, walking away, then he turned around, saying "Oh, and Taylor..."

"Yes?"

"It's nice to see you again, love." He smiled. And went inside his car.

Taylor smiled back. _Complicated as always._ Well at least now she knows Harry doesn't hate her, or even planted anger, she knows it when his smiles are fake but what she saw earlier was real.

_Yeah, it's nice to see you too again, Harry._

After that, Taylor went home and went to bed, playing back the scenarios in her head...

She wondered why the truck driver addressed Alison as her daughter, and why she haven't said a thing about it but then she remembered she was too busy earlier to even notice what the driver was talking about. She was confused and really shaken up that time, she barely had her focus.

Then something rung from the back of her head, Range Rover... a black Range Rover. Taylor knew she almost hit one during one of her anxiety attacks. It could be his, because that was the time she carried Alison to her room. _Damn these coincidences._

She just let thoughts pour inside and went to sleep.

–

Taylor was back to talking to Mrs. Fredricksen because she and her never talked too much, Taylor was busy around those times. They started having their usual chats until Mrs. Fredricksen opened up a subject.

"That gray-eyed boy, do you remember him?" She asked.

 _Gray-eyed, gray-eyed._ "Oh, Cas? The one with the dog tags and all. What about him?"

"Yes, that one." Mrs. Fredricksen said. "He was looking for you earlier."

"I'm sorry, what for?" Taylor asked, why in the hell would Cas look for her? Unless it was about the date she missed out yesterday or almost two days ago since it's two am Wednesday.

"He just said it was urgent. And he'll meet you after your shift."

"Uh huh, okay if he's _that_ patient." Taylor joked. "You don't think he's serious about me, right?" She then asked, curiously because even though she had gone through a lot of stuff like this, it all still feels new. That and she never dated for more or less a year.

"I think he is." Mrs. Fredricksen answered.

"Oh." Taylor said, it was all she could muster at the time. "Whatever goes then. He seemed nice enough."

Cas just appeared beside her with a smile, saying "Why thank you very much."

Taylor didn't face him yet, she took the moment to look at Mrs. Fredricksen's teasing face, it wasn't annoying, just really weird...

"Well, this is awkward." Taylor mumbled. "I thought you said 'at the end of my shift'?" She turned around and looked at Cas.

Unlike the other days, his neatly-styled jet black hair turned into a hell of a mess. Taylor really liked the neatly-styled much better because she is so over boys having messy hair.

"I caught you here. Why wait?" Cas asked, almost flirtatiously.

"First off, shifts and shift only. Second, is this about me bailing out this Monday?" Taylor asked.

Cas turned his face to Mrs. Fredricksen, "May I borrow Taylor for a moment, ma'am?" He asked politely.

_Nope never in a ---_

"Of course." Mrs. Fredricksen said.

"What?" She never had one-fifths of a second to object because Cas already pulled her away.

Cas dragged her at the end of the hallway, away from all of those people. He didn't come near her though, just the distance of their arms. Taylor leaned against a wall.

"So yeah, this is really about me bailing out this Monday." She mumbled, her arms crossed with a deadly glare on Cas.

Cas laughed. "It _is_ about that. You kinda owe me something."

"Okay shoot."

"An explanation, and a consequence after that."

"Simple enough. Where do I start?" Taylor said. "Okay well, here's the thing, I came early, right? So I won't be late. Yeah and I found a kid in the parking lot who was accidentally left behind by her parents so I told you I need to do something else and that is find her parents." She explained then smiled innocently afterwards.

"Explanation accepted. Though that still doesn't get you away from the consequences." He replied charmingly which was getting on Taylor's nerves, not because he was annoying but because he's that irresistible she annoys herself.

"What are you, like a date-police?" Taylor said, making her sarcasm really visible.

"I'll tell you your consequence after your shift." Cas said. _I don't really owe him anything._ "Also, do Tomlinson mind?"

_I wonder, do Tomlinson mind? Uh YES!_

"Yes." She answered honestly. "Though the decision is still mine."

"He does seemed like he's overprotective on you. Had he--"

Taylor shook her head and said, "Don't get the subject far to Louis. All I know is he's my best friend and yeah, he could get overprotective but that's all. Enough?"

"Enough." Cas said. "How long had he been your--"

As Cas was about to ask about Louis again, Taylor glared at him, making him stop.

"Alright, no more Tomlinson." Cas said.

"Good." She said. "Also, can you not do this again, please? All the dragging stuff."

"Pinky promise." He said extending his pinkie like a child. _Why do they always have to be childish?_

"You're weird." She remarked.

"Yeah, I like you too. Let's get you back there." Cas said. _Well, at least he stopped._

–

Taylor sighed, the time rung seven am. _End of my shift._ she fixed herself and went out of her lab coat then grabbed her bag.

She went outside and walked to room 608, where Cas told her to go. Guessing it was where his mom was confined. Still, Taylor couldn't really figure out why.

After a few minutes, she saw Cas walking out from the elevator. He smiled when she saw her, and she smiled back, returning the gesture.

He stopped when he was a few steps away from Taylor. "Hey."

"Consequence?" She asked, smiling in a childish way.

"Inside. I'll introduce you to mom." Cas said and turned the knob.

Still, Taylor couldn't understand why Cas would introduce her to his mom. Unless he was really fooling around but that's unlikely to be possible.

Little did she know, she was standing frozen while Cas was waiting for her to at least take a step.

"Taylor." He called with his gentle voice.

"What?"

"Inside." He said.

"Oh. R-Right." Taylor stuttered as her mind was still flying. Then she fixed herself and walked inside.

Inside was a well-lit room. Unlike the last one she had been before, though she preferred the dark room much better than this. It's so open. She saw Cas' mom who was asleep but still as though listening peacefully to the classics from the radio. His mom had most of her straight hair colored gray, her eyes were sunken low and turned almost red. Her caramel skin were wrinkled and bearded the marks of age...

"I love this song." Cas sighed, closing the door behind him.

As much as Taylor tried, she couldn't recognize the song, she even doubted if she have even heard that sing before.

"It's their song, mom and dad's. Or, their favorite, either way. This was the last one they chose." Cas whispered and led Taylor to the sofa near the wall...

His mom woke up and he introduced Taylor to his mom, his mom smiled almost all the way she was talking to Taylor. And she had fun for the next couple of hours just chatting with Cas, about his work and all.

Then they sat together in silence for a while. The song that was playing when they entered played again and she listened intently. She didn't recognize it but she enjoyed every last strum of the guitar from that song. The voice was familiar, but the song wasn't.

"Wh-who sung that? It's amazing." Taylor said.

"That? Oh, it's St-Stevie Wonder." He replied.

_Oh._

Taylor leaned her head on the wall and closed her eyes. Of course she thought about the past, and she let her memories flood her mind in a dreamy scape.

The last thing she remembered was seeing a pair of eyes, she wasn't really sure if it was hers or Alison's, then his green eyes.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

Taylor never got the chance to go home. After waking up inside the hospital room, where Cas' mom is confined, she waved goodbye at Cas since she needed to prepare for her next shift.

Before going though, Cas told her about Louis calling her up earlier but Taylor didn't mind it that much. After all, Louis calls every time he feels like it. Though she was slightly horrified at the fact that Louis might be in his old "act-like-a-father" mood in which he will scold Taylor later.

Not a lot happened, just another phone call from Louis.

"Yes, Louis?" Taylor said, answering the call.

"Don't you talk that sweet to me, young lady. We've got a lot to talk about." Louis said, his voice in an expected "Father-like" way.

Taylor rolled her eyes. "I'm older than you."

"Yeah, by a week and a half." He remarked sarcastically. "Where were you?"

"In a hospital room. Before you freak out, I'm okay. I just visited one patient."

"And you were with Roxfer?"

 _How did he know about that? How come he always knows everything?_ "How'd you know?"

"Duh, he answered the bloody call."

"Oh? That? I was with him. No big deal or anything though." She explained while clicking her pen she got from her pocket.

"I still don't like it. Anyways, I'm sneaking someone right now." Louis said which absolutely made no sense whatsoever.

She got confused, of course. _What did Louis even mean?_ "I didn't get anything."

"Go, talk." Louis said, though he seemed a bit far from the phone like he was talking to somebody else.

The other line was quiet for a moment, "Lou are you still--"

"Doctor Swift?"

Taylor heard Alison's cute, innocent voice that suddenly her day –nope, night–lit up.

"Hey Alison. How are you?" Taylor asked sweetly with that smile on her face.

"Great! Can Uncle Louis and I visit you after your work tomorrow?" Alison asked in her usual cheery voice.

"Umm, princess. I don't really know. Remember I told you, you have to ask your parents first." Taylor replied. It's not that she don't want to it's just that she's not sure if she should.

"Uncle Louis asked them for me. So can we please go there?" That cute voice begged and Taylor accidentally imagined Alison inside her head, pleading with her blue eyes.

She smiled. "I haven't got much choice, now do I? See you tomorrow, princess."

"Yes. Thank you, Dr. Sw--- oh?" Taylor heard some whispers but they don't make sense... not until Alison continued with her statement, "White Queen."

_This kid needs to stop spending loads of time with Louis._

"So it's settled then? See you tomorrow, A." Taylor said, it felt weird for her.

"Bye Dr. Swift." Alison said, and she heard her give the phone to Louis.

"See you tomorrow, White Queen. All the love." He said then laughed. **3**

Taylor just rolled her eyes, considering that he just referenced to Harry's favorite greeting. "You too, Boobear." She said, practically holding back her laugh afterwards since it sounds so childish calling him that nickname.

She ended the call herself and went on with the rest of her shift.

–

Taylor looked around her flat, nothing seemed to be out of place anymore. She didn't really have a general cleaning since she was always clean when it comes to her house but she did have to put rearrange things up a bit.

After finishing, she took her phone and texted Louis.

_> > Knock before you enter. P.S. don't break my door. :)_

She sent that as a warning, she knew Louis has his own key for her apartment and she didn't want him enter without her knowing about it.

It wasn't very long when she got another call from Louis.

"Yes?" Taylor said, waiting for Louis to say something.

"Uhh, I don't know how to tell you this but..." He trailed on, his tone rather unreadable. It didn't seem like it was good news.

"Louis, better make sure this is not a prank." She said, another warning since that is where he'd usually lead up to.

He sighed, "I'm sorry, but Harry didn't agree on letting Alison go with me."

"What?"Taylor felt a bit disappointed. She's really looking forward to seeing Alison but then... _ugh, Harry._

"Yeah, when he found out, he disagreed immediately."

Taylor groaned... _what a killjoy._ "Damn, I wanted to see Alison." She does, she really wants to see her. She had been alone for years and she never stayed with a child that long, –least except for her nephew Mavery.

"Oh you'll see her."

"But you said--"

Louis didn't let her finish. "He disagreed on the idea, but Alison is coming... he's going with her."

"Wait, what?!" Taylor yelled. _Also, not happening._ Harry isn't the guy who would agree to come. But Louis didn't sound like he was lying either. "You can't be serious."

"Alison made him come so..."

"I swear, if this is another joke, I will personally kill you once you get here." Taylor warned again.

"I told you, I can't come." Louis said, then chuckled.

"So you're really serious?"

"Why don't you check up your door right now, he arrived minutes ago. You'll hear four knocks. I told him to." He laughed and Taylor went silent as he heard the four knocks coming from her door.

 _This is a prank, this is not real._ "You're pranking me, right?"

"Bloody hell, if this is a prank, then it has to be damn lame." Louis remarked sarcastically. "Have you ever known me for lame pranks?"

"Yes. Like the one time you locked me and Harry in the school storage room." She mumbled, though she didn't know why all of a sudden, she dug that from the back of her head.

"That was a good one, admit it. So are you gonna keep Harry waiting? I'll three-way this call."

"Don't you even---"

Taylor heard a beep and heard a low raspy voice say "Hello?"

She covered her phone and whisper-screamed, jumping up and down. She was freaking out. Louis is serious. She cannot believe it. LOUIS. IS. SERIOUS.

She put the phone back beside her ear. "Ermm, are you going to keep me waiting?" Harry asked.

She heard Louis chuckling from the other line and she didn't say a thing. "Hear that?"

One of the lines ended the call. It has got to be the one from Harry. "Do you believe me, now?" Louis asked.

"Fine. Just fine." She mumbled and made her way to the door. "I'm opening it right now." Her heart beat as fast as her footsteps. There was this feeling churning inside her stomach.

_Am I really doing this? Think for second, will Harry really do this? It's impossible, right? But you heard Harry earlier... Oh God, whatever goes then._

She twisted the knob and opened the door. Her jaw dropped at the sight she saw. She couldn't move and there was this heat that made her face red. She was surprised at everything at the moment.

"PRANKED!" Louis yelled, she heard it both in person and from the phone. Alison was, right there, laughing.

Taylor was slightly embarrassed that she couldn't move. Her face reddened even more, she cannot believe she fell for it again.

"Oh my God." She said quietly. It was the weirdest feeling when you didn't know how to react, her mind flew but she was aware of everything, she felt both hot and cold at the same time. Yes, she was humiliated but her actions were because she is both confused and startled at the moment.

She wrapped her arms around Louis. "Oh my God." She breathed out. She couldn't say anything else. It was both a funny, yet horrifying feeling.

"Wait, are you crying?" Louis asked, after he was done laughing.

 _No._ Taylor didn't notice anything, even the tears on her face but it's not sadness, it's just about her overflowing feelings inside her. Her cheeks were both red and wet. "No." She finally said.

"My pranks are really lame, huh?" Louis joked, then wrapped his arms around her. He rubbed circles around her back to comfort her from what he did.

"Pretty lame. Oh God, I didn't know I hated you so much until now." She joked back.

After a while, she found a way to build herself back. She wiped her wet cheeks but her face was still red. She also found it to herself to breathe normally.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it affected--" Louis apologized. This time, Taylor was sure he was serious because she's seeing his eyes right now.

She shook her head with a smile, "No, it's not that. I was just surprised."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry, I was just a bit overwhelmed." She then, looked at Alison. "Hey, princess. What do you wanna do today?"

The child smiled widely and said, "Anything!"

"Great, I got loads planned for you." Taylor said. Then whispered to Louis, "Does her dad know?"

"Uh."

"He doesn't?!" She whispered again. Before it turned into a some sort of argument, Taylor told Alison to go play with the cats or do anything she wanted around the house. The child obliged cheerily and Taylor ended up hearing random little footsteps around her flat.

Louis shook his head. "Do you think he'd let Alison? I don't want to see the disappointment in Alison's face. Especially when I see her eyes, it's yours." He replied quietly

Taylor felt her heart beat twice than normal. She's not mad at Louis for doing this but she didn't like this idea... at all. "You do know, Harry would kill me if he found out."

"No. Do you think I would put the blame on you?"

"Even if you didn't, we both know he's going to blame me. He won't stay mad at you." Taylor replied.

"We'll just keep it a secret, between the two-- three of us." He said.

"What makes you think Alison won't say a thing?" Taylor mumbled.

"I told her not to."

"So you taught the kid to lie?" It wasn't to offend Louis or anything but it seemed plain wrong.

"No. I didn't. I just told her not to tell him. Know what? We'll have this discussion later. Entertain your guest for a while." Louis said, calmly.

Taylor sighed. "Okay. Thanks for bringing her, Lou."

"Welcome." He smiled then closed the door behind him.

The afternoon was alright, in fact Alison enjoyed it that much – all of them did. They enjoyed a couple hours of movie-watching, baking, dancing around and of course, jamming through some songs. It was easy since Alison seemed to know those classics.

They talked about it, and they told Alison to keep it a secret for a while. It is despite Taylor's protests that they tell Harry or her mom at the least because if something happens to Alison, they are the ones to blame. Louis comforted her by saying he'll take care of it. Alison visited constantly, especially during weekends. Surprisingly, Harry didn't grow suspicious of it. And all those visits were unforgettable.

Unexpectedly, they managed to keep it secret within a couple of weeks. Harry didn't know, but Liz definitely did. And she was alright with the idea. Taylor was the one who told it herself. Also to mention Taylor checks up on her to see how her baby boy is doing inside her stomach, she's six months now and so far the baby is healthy.

With Harry, their excuse was they are just going out to the park or visiting a friend. The second one wasn't a lie at all and they managed to keep it quiet since Harry is always busy. Niall got back from Ireland and will be staying for a couple of weeks, and _he knows._

Louis was a good liar, or truth-stretcher. Either way, Taylor didn't mind it now. She might sound selfish but she loved having the kid around, because she is the only one who made her place alive again. The child was a blessing, she made Taylor more cheerful than she usually is.

The time passed to quickly, for all they know, it's already November. Alison and Louis hadn't got the chance to visit in a while but she occupied herself by being busy in the hospital.

As for Cas, they hung out a lot too. Though they never went beyond than friends and Taylor liked to keep it that way for a while.

She enjoyed every minute of the past weeks. Even though she was alone in Halloween and will be alone in Thanksgiving, she didn't mind it that much. Taylor's life is going perfectly at hand. Her only fear left was how Harry would react but she forced herself to think about it once the situation is already there.

The days are getting colder, as winter starts to roll in. What'll happen next are the ones she'll never be certain of. Whatever goes, it's still life and she had to keep going.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

"No way! You've got that many comic books?" Taylor remarked, surprised as Cas told her about his collection of comic books. They're in a Cafe right now and it's Monday - her day off.

"Yeah, since I go to a lot of countries, I need something to keep me amused while we're camping, outdoors or sometimes near the battlefield, but not during battles." Cas laughed and Taylor did so as well. "That'll be the stupidest thing to do."

Then a thought crossed Taylor's mind. She looked sad for a while and Cas noticed it easily.

"What's with the face?" He asked.

"You said you'll go to Iran, right? About three weeks from now?" Taylor said. She didn't like the idea of Cas leaving. But who was she in her life to even have a little control? She's just his friend.

"Actually, it's a week from now. I'll leave next Monday." Cas said.

"Oh." _That sucks._ Taylor frowned though she didn't make it that obvious.

"Don't be sad, I mean, it's still easy to communicate. Just keep connected, alright?" Cas asked, then stared at her with those gray eyes.

She broke herself from the gaze since she felt slightly uncomfortable. "Sure. It's that----" her phone rang. "Sorry I gotta take this." She apologised to Cas. He nodded and she answered the call.

"Taylor sp--"

Louis cut her off instantly. "We're in trouble... big trouble." He said.

"How big?"

He sighed, "Please believe me, Tay. This time I'm dead serious. I swear, I'm not fooling around." His voice sounded real serious.

"I believe you. But if this is a prank, you're giving me my key back." She replied.

"Deal." Louis answered. "Harry found out."

 _What? Please tell me, he's not serious._ "Did he now? How?" Taylor said, her voice raising.

"Me and Alison kind of slipped it out. And we've got a situation." Louis said quickly and sounded nervous. "He's kind of furious about it. But I explained everything. I told him it's my fault."

"Okay, but how did he react?"

"Not too well, you can see him really furious about it but tried not to be. He told me to leave that instant." Louis replied.

"You've got to be kidding me, right now. Please tell me you aren't serious."

"I wish I'm just pranking you but, he was mad. I'm serious, believe me this is real."

Taylor bit her lip and looked down. She almost forgot she got Cas in front of her, she tried smiling then answered, "He's gonna kill me now, is he?"

"Well..." Louis trailed. "No, not now since he seemed to be mad at me and me only. It's alright, I'll get it fixed within days. He'll never let Alison out with me again, for sure. I'll let it pass." He explained.

"You know, this really sucks... anything about me?" Taylor asked.

"I'm building up to that. After I let Alison tell him everything, he seemed to be startled, I haven't the slightest idea why. Though I'm not sure you'll be able to see a lot of smiles from now on. You say you're in good terms? I'm not so sure now. Still, I can reassure you, Liz doesn't know anything about his past with you. His last question was..." he paused.

"Yes?"

"'Why did it have to be you?'." Louis stated. He waited for Taylor to reply. It was a long silence.

Taylor's jaw dropped for a moment then her nose crinkled. "If he only knew I'm asking the same question. He'll just have to deal with it." She mumbled, her tone soft.

Louis sighed again. "I'm sorry, okay? I won't be able to visit you. Dani and I are going to London. And I'll be out for two weeks. Will be back before December."

That's when Taylor got hit by this emotional wave. "You too?" She whispered silently.

"Come again?"

She shook her head and fixed herself, "Uh, I mean, okay. Have fun with Dani."

"I'll try to call as much. Love you, White Queen." Louis said.

"All the love." She teased.

He scoffed. "Sometimes I really hate you." He kidded.

"I love you too, Lou." Taylor said before ending the call.

She apologized first to Cas but he was the understanding type. They continued with their day.

–

That same week, Louis left for London with Dani. Taylor showed no stand against it since Louis deserved to be out with his girlfriend. Then a week later, Cas was the one leaving, Taylor was there to see him off.

It was a windy, fall afternoon. Taylor sat with Cas for a while, he was just waiting for 9AM to tick by so he could go. He said this might be the last time he'll see her this year. True enough, she went there, a bit without effort but who cares? She's there for him, that's what matters.

It felt odd, seeing Cas in that camouflage uniform. His dog tags now hidden beneath his clothes. His gray eyes could barely be seen by his soldier cap. Taylor was at awe when she stares at him, but she guessed she's not going to see that anymore.

"Hey, I don't know if this sounds weird but I'll actually miss you." Cas said with his dimpled smile.

Taylor was slightly taken aback but she managed to smile shyly. "No, not really. In fact I'll honestly miss you too. The chats and hang outs and all." It was true, she'll miss him. It's almost the same as getting her alone style back. No Alison, no Louis, no Cas and a rare Niall (he's always too busy).

"Wish I could've had more time but since you bailed out on the first dat--"

Taylor cut him off by elbowing him, her face nicely annoyed. "I bailed out one time, and you're bringing it for the rest of my life."

Cas smiled again, charmingly. Too charming, Taylor blushed. "Are you saying that I'll be there for the rest of your life?"

 _Did that come out from me?_ Taylor opened her mouth to say something, anything really but all she did was stutter. "I--uh. . Uh th--n--y-y--"

Cas laughed at her hilarious reaction. "It's okay. You look funny when you're red." He continued laughing them stopped. "But seriously, I'm not rushing you. If we're friends, and just friends only, I'm good with it."

She sighed with relief. "Never thought I'd meet a guy like you."

"Never thought I'd meet a girl like you." He said, reversing the compliment she just gave him.

He looked at his watch and frowned. "I'm sorry, Taylor. I have to go." He groaned as he stood up. "I'll see you next year."

"Be careful. Come back the way you are now, soldier." Taylor said, not even realizing she just gave him a nickname.

"Stay safe. Be here the way you are now, doctor." He said, turning Taylor's words upside-down as usual.

He kissed Taylor's cheek and went inside his car. He gave her one last glance with a smile then drove away.

She sighed as she started walking to her car. Taylor went to the driver's seat and started the car up. She started driving around New York and her eyes caught a familiar place. _Central Park Zoo._

Taylor smiled to herself. A lot of memories came flooding back, it was the zoo where Harry and her dated when they took a vacation here... but unlike the other times, she pushed those thoughts at the back of her mind. _I'm not going back in there. Really? Yep. Are you sure? Yes. Why not? Are you afraid? Nope._

She parked the car at the side of the street. At first, she called her family, telling them she won't make it on Thanksgiving, though promised she will be on Christmas, as agreed. Then another person came to her mind.

"Hey, El?"

"Am I hearing a ghost, right now? WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" El started out sweetly and ended up screaming right on the phone. _Talk about being a full-grown woman, El._ "My goodness, I've been wanting to talk to you for like days."

"Then why didn't you just call me?" Taylor asked.

"Whenever I do, it's always a three-way. Wanna know what's worse? You're talking with my ex. It's either him or Cas Roxfer that one dude who hit on me during second year college." El whined. If Taylor was in her situation, she wouldn't just whine about it so she let her be without saying a word. "Honestly, how did you even meet the guy? Never mind the question. What's up? I know something's up, you wouldn't call just like that."

She sighed, "Okay, I'm sorry for not calling you up. Where do I start?"

"Start from why you have been calling Louis, or him calling you, vice versa." Eleanor answered.

"Are you sure you're that comfortable enough?"

El scoffed, "Yes. I've moved on." She said.

Taylor told the whole story over the phone. Including Cas Roxfer and that thing with Harry. The thing with him is not that legit though, she hadn't talked to Harry yet.

"Quote that thing, Tay." El suddenly said.

Taylor's eyebrows furrowed as she got confused. _What did she say? What did she just say?_ "Quote what?"

"You said it yourself, you haven't talked to Harry 'yet'." She emphasized the last word. "Yet, yet, yet, yet. Meaning it would happen. Call me up once it does."

"Whatever, El. Whatever." She mumbled. Silence filled the line until El spoke again.

"I can't imagine Harry being furious at you." El said softly.

"I can, and it's scary. I did do something wrong."

She heard El talking to another person. She also heard her sigh. "Let me guess, you gotta go.” Taylor said, smirking.

"Yes and I'm sorry. I'll contact you as soon as I can."

"Okay, El. Bye." She ended the call and put it inside her bag. And she looked out the window, Central Park Zoo.

_You'll lose nothing but a couple of hours._

She agreed to her other half and went inside the zoo. She gazed on almost every she can see with her slow walking pace.

Taylor let her memories flood in this time, though nothing affected her. It's just not the same anymore. It's gone now. She bumped occasionally with a few people and apologized every once in a while too. She's not lost in her thoughts, she's just too fascinated at the moment, and how everything has changed around here. There weren't much people since it's Monday and everyone's at work or in school. Which is why the place was rather quiet, calming. The atmosphere of the place provided her peace and serenity.

She spent those times with her thoughts. _Oh God, how am I going to survive this? Ugh, Taylor stop overreacting._ She wondered about everything. How Louis and Dani is, how Cas is, how Harry is, how Niall is, how her friends and family are and how Alison is. She wondered how she would get her life back to normal since it had gone upside down the moment she laid her eyes on their replicas.

Lastly, she wondered why -even the little parts of him- Harry affected her life so badly every time he takes one step. His daughter showed up and life hadn't been easy ever since. Now he shows up, and everything gets complicated. She knows it in herself that somehow it was her fault too, but she tried resisting, didn't she? She tried but she can't. That's far impossible. Why does Alison have that effect? _Why does he still have that effect?_ Taylor knows to herself that she had moved on, she knows crystal clear that she is not in love with him anymore, still, he affects him that way. _Why?_

Her phone rung, interrupting her from her thoughts. _Great, just great, I was having my moment here._

"Taylor speaking." She said, the phone near her ear as she continued walking.

"It's Niall." He stated, though his statement only had two words, his Irish accent can still be heard. It wasn't hard to detect at all.

"Oh my gosh, Niall... how--"

Niall laughed, it was like a wind chime softly swaying with the cool breeze, the one that's hitting Taylor's pale face right now. She smiled upon hearing that nice laugh again. It made her feel better, it was a pull back to reality and out of the depths of confusion.

"I just want to ask you something." He said. "When are you free?"

"Anytime of the day between eight am and five pm." She answered right away. She knows how Niall is anyways, business first before foolishness. "

Why?" She asked.

She's kind of expecting something serious but she'll never know until he says so himself.

He sighed and said, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow around 9AM. That okay?"

Now Taylor just got confused again. What does Niall exactly want? "Yeah." She replied.

"Good, because I'd love to discuss some matters with you.”

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

Taylor woke up with the sound of her vibrating phone above her small drawer. She groaned as her hand reached for it. Eyes still closed, she answered the call.

"H-Hello." She said in her typical morning voice. She tried opening her eyes, she was partially successful. Still, the bright light made her eyes flicker.

"Tay, I might come by a little earlier. Be ready before nine am." Niall said.

 _Might come a little earlier._ Without even knowing what Niall was talking about, she replied, "Oh, okay. See you Nialler." _What is he talking about? What is he talking about?_

"Alright, Tay. Gotta go." He said then ended the call.

Taylor put her phone back on her mini drawer and put her pillow back over her face. She tried going back to sleep. _What was Niall talking about? Probably nothing._

A second later, her eyes flew open. "Holy shh--" she swore a couple of times as she scrambled up to her feet. How did she forget?! Niall and her are supposed to go out today NINE AM!

 _Oh my God! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_ Being her usual freaking-out self, she managed to get dressed with brown skinny jeans and a gray shirt printed with a picture of a black and white cat. She grabbed a green coat and sat back on her bed, while eating a bagel. Thankfully, she got ready before thirty minutes.

Before she knew it, Niall was already out her door. She opened it, revealing that sandy blonde hair with brown roots, deep ocean blue eyes shining beneath his glasses.

"Hey twin." Taylor joked seeing as both of them had the same skin color, same blue eyes and blonde hair, almost the same height too. Then the glasses add up.

"Morning, Taylor." He smiled, he wore a royal blue polo and brown pants. The blonde Irish took out his hand and gestured for Taylor to hold it, which she did.

They started walking down the hallway, to the elevator. "Mind telling me why you had to take me out?" Taylor asked.

Niall didn't look at her yet he chuckled. "Aside from the fact that I'm on a break from my job, I gotta talk to you about something." He replied.

"About what?"

"Something highschool-y." He replied. "Nothing much, I just wanna take you out. Louis wanted me to take you out too. I mean, we're friends anyways."

"Oh okay."

Niall shrugged off every question that she asked. Instead, they toured around NYC, going from one drive through to another, just chatting about life. It did seem a little weird though since Taylor was on the backseat all those times. He understood why, though like Louis, he questions why it's still there. That's the question that Taylor had no answer to. Even she is asking herself that question.

Then Niall parked his gray car at the side of the streets and leaned back is his engine turned off. He crawled to his back seat and sat beside Taylor with his cute grin.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, then he smiled. "Alright, now you can ask questions."

"First off, what matters do you want to discuss?" She asked.

He stared at her with his ocean blue eyes. "I wonder if you knew about this but we're gonna have a reunion, Class '09. Everyone has to be there, everyone. They won't let it happen if one is missing so they are trying to connect to the ones who are far away, you... nobody has contacted you, right? I told them, I'll tell you." He explained then grabbed some fries.

"Mmhmm." Taylor kept eating through he fries then wiped her mouth. "Okay, tell me everything for the venue to the motif."

"It's a formal occasion, the masterminds were the student body back then including me." He laughed, then cleared his throat. "It'll be held in Nashville, Don Demino HS, about three weeks and a half from now. Mark the date, December three. No motifs, just whatever you can get but ladies have to wear gowns, and gentlemen needs tuxes."

"Hmm, easy enough." Taylor stated. "Wait, did you say every one of us? Meaning like the whole us?" She asked, it was a stupid question but Taylor couldn't bring it to herself to like it, there were so many memories.

"Yes."

"And how come no one contacted me about that?"

"I volunteered to tell you. And since, I have no date yet. I'm here to ask you. Do you want to?" Niall asked. "As friends, of course."

"Are you kidding me? That'll be great, Niall." Taylor replied. Of course she'd say 'yes' even if it's the worst or stupidest request, she couldn't simply say 'no' to Niall.

He took a fry and ate it. "Also," he sighed, "the lads and I agreed that we sit on the same table."

 _Holy hell no._ "Ugh really?" Taylor groaned but she couldn't complain.

"If you're uncom--"

"No." Taylor cut him off. "It's--it's okay, I'll survive it."

"So are you in?" Niall asked.

She smiled, "Of course." As much as she looked that confident, she couldn't bear imagining her sitting on the same table with the past and the present. Taylor _was_ the past, nothing else. She hoped that evening won't suck half as bad as she imagined it now. She wanted it to be comfortable, but to think of the fact that Harry is unclearly mad at her.

"And I promise you, Harry won't bug you. I talked to him already." Niall assured.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"He knew I'm taking you and says it'll be alright. He also said he isn't mad, he was just not in a good mood that day. He'll behave." Niall laughed at his own terms.

"It's a done deal, then." Taylor mumbled.

"We're flying to Nashville about two days before. So, fix your schedule as I fixed mine. Pack everything before December one." He reminded.

"Yes, will do, twin." She said, a bit sarcastic because she would really do that, no need to remind her.

–

**December 1**

Nothing. As in nothing could describe Taylor's feeling right now but _absolutely jet-lagged!_

She flew in _with Niall_ from New York City to Nashville. It felt so great being back there again, though her tiredness kinda blew it. During the whole flight, she hadn't had the chance to even rest since Niall bugged her at almost everything, asking her about the movie being played, their current location, - _honestly, how would I know?! We were in a plane for the love of God! -_ and what song she was listening to every once in a while. She wasn't mad about it since it was fun convincing the little boy that sat with them that they are twins. He was about eleven years old yet he still believed the strangers.

All they did was mess around and eat loads of food, they even got shushed by a flight attendant once or twice. The two remained being their childish selves because their reason was they don't get to be like it anymore.

But then everything turned serious on the drive to Taylor's house. She gave her brother, Austin a heads-up that she is coming home but never tell their parents. She only told him to make them stay ‘til she gets there without telling them so it would be a surprise. Also, mention the fact that Niall is staying in their house for the next three nights.

Taylor is still seated on the backseat along with their luggage for three-days and Niall's guitar, which she was playing and singing along with instead of turning the radio on. She continued strumming and plucking different melodies as Niall asked her questions. The skies outside are still dark since it's quarter to four am. The two of them would yawn occasionally.

"I know we said 'don't bring up the past' but, may I ask, where is the necklace Harry gave you?" Niall asked, his eyes constantly looking at the mirror, maybe trying to see how Taylor would react. He yawned then later, Taylor did as well.

Taylor _tried_ to make her face straight and steady as possible. "It's in my flat back in New York, why?" She answered nonchalant.

"Oh? There were slight rumors coming from I-won't-say... that you threw it away. Even your brother thought you threw it." Niall said. "But don't be mad at Aussie, it's just a theory."

Taylor looked at Niall's worried face with delight and a cheeky smile. "Why would I be mad?" She laughed as she saw how his face transcends from worried to eased. "It once crossed my mind but I couldn't. I'd never let go of those memories, even if they are my worst, I still wouldn't."

"Don't mind me for asking but, why?" Niall asked, his curiosity peeking through his eyes from the mirror.

Taylor leaned back, still with the smile on her face. "Because a green-eyed, curly haired lad once told me I should never regret anything that made me smile. Every one of those memories with that necklace made me smile, and always will make me smile, I don't regret any of them even if they gave me so much pain afterwards. I don't want to have regrets." She answered, way excellently than she could even imagine.

Niall chuckled and so did Taylor, they both know who they are talking about. And her statement earlier was not simply just her reason why she didn't throw the paper airplane necklace away, it was also what she thought about when she stopped crying every night thinking about her past, that was years ago. That was how she got over _him._ It was how she _moved on._

"If only I heard the same words with Harry." He said. Taylor didn't reply and just let the silence take over until Niall spoke again. "I'm not saying he hadn't moved on because we both know, he did. But I never heard his reason. I'm not even sure if the paper airplane is still with him, or he threw it away. None of us knew."

"Even after everything that's between us, I kinda wish I'd still live to see the day he wears that necklace again." _Oh hell._ Taylor said, though she didn't really mean to say it out loud. "Oh my God, I'm sorry. I wasn't supposed to--"

"Then it's just between us." He said.

"Sure."

Niall pulled over the house. "I shouldn't expect a welcome, now should I?" He joked with an eyebrow raised.

Taylor shook her head and unlocked the door. "Nope." She headed out of the car and so did Niall…

She was tired earlier but everything was washed away. The moment her shoes tapped the gravel path leading to their door, she felt warm, the feeling that you get when you know you're safe from everything, every feeling comfort brushed over her... she's home again.

Everything seemed different, and it was only less than a year since she last saw this place. The garden, the flowers, the grass, the fountain, the paint, they changed but not that much. Still, it wasn't the same as before. She closed her eyes and let her feel everything for moment then started walking to their door.

Niall walked beside her. But before they reached the door, she spun around and hugged him. "Thanks, Nialler." She whispered.

"Welcome, and it's not all me." He said as she broke free from the hug.

"Here we go." Taylor sighed and knocked on their door.

She already expected it, the one who greeted her, was her brother, Austin. Same brown hair and height. "Taylor!" Austin exclaimed and trapped Taylor in a tight embrace.

"Au-Austin." She breathed out, he let her loose. "Niall, nice to see you again."

Austin let them in, helping them carry their luggage from Niall's car. Taylor, then asked about their parents.

"They're upstairs, in their bedroom, sleeping since it's still four am. I've been up since last night. I can't sleep." Austin states.

Niall yawned. "And Aussie, where's mah room? Not to be rude, but I don't wanna ruin this family reunion." He said.

"The left one beside Taylor's room." Austin answered.

"Are you kidding me?! You're my twin!" Taylor whined as a protest.

"Goodnight, Tay." He yawned again and rushed to the bedroom, carrying his luggage.

"Where's your wife and son?" Taylor asked.

"Four in the morning, Tay. I'd say we keep everything about your presence ‘til this breakfast. I'll wake you up, but for now, get some rest." Austin said.

She frowned a bit but ended up listening to Austin. He helped her carry her luggage up to her bedroom. But before Austin closed the door, he smiled, "I missed you, sis."

"Missed you too, Aussie." Taylor said softly then he closed the door. She was left inside and she missed her room.

She stared at the glow-in-the-dark stickers above her ceiling. Her room was the say she left it. The smell of roses still filled her room though she didn't know why. It must be her covers, still she loved it here. Though there are a lot of memories that comes to her, it was alright, she loved the feeling of having it all back once again... at least this time it's painless.

Easily, she drifted to a sleep full of different dreams. It was peaceful, cold, yet the best feeling of comfort in the world.

–

"Mom! Dad!" Taylor exclaimed and wrapped her arms around her parents who just woke up. She might be tired but that didn't stop her from waking up this early. Niall, on the other hand, is still inside his room.

"Taylor!" Her mom, Andrea exclaimed as well. She didn't expect that her daughter would come, Taylor knew that. That's why she loved the look on their surprised faces.

"How long have you been here?" Her father, Scott asked.

"Just this morning, with Niall. Sis kept me awake all dawn." Austin replied.

Taylor pouted, "Hey, it wasn't my fault. You chose to stay awake." She scoffed and sat down, near Shiela, Austin's wife and near Mavery. "Hey Shiel." She greeted and the two of them got caught in a short conversation as Austin was explaining stuff to their parents.

"You called in the middle of the night." Austin butted in.

She rolled her eyes and said, "How was I supposed to know about the time differences? Austin, I was in New York!"

"No excuses. Just no, not an excuse." He said.

"Well, whatever." She scoffed and continued talking with Shiela and playing with Mavery, who is now almost three years old. She wanted to catch up a lot of time with her parents and explain everything but she guessed Austin was doing it for her.

Her parents sat down and Taylor excused herself. She needed to call Niall, it'll be disrespectful if she didn't.

"It'll only take a minute." She promised as she ran up the stairs. She was expecting to see a Niall in deep slumber but instead, he was awake seated on his bed, even in his blue striped pajamas, he looked formal. He had his glasses on as he stares at the laptop on his lap.

"I forgot knocking, sorry." Taylor said.

Niall smiled up and lowered his laptop screen though not the extent that it closed. "Morning, Taylor."

"Come downstairs, breakfast time. And let me introduce you to--"

"I'm not going downstairs." He said, cutting her off. His tone isn't his usual, and it's just different.

Taylor was rather confused. Niall is rarely this way. He didn't even smile at all. _Ah, I think I know what this is about._

She sat beside him, with that comforting smile she said, "Don't be shy. You're my twin, remember?" Taylor held his hands them wrapped her arms around him.

Niall rubbed her shoulders and upper arm with his right hand and then smirked. "Why is it that you always know?"

"Time. I spent a lot with you." She replied.

"Hmm," he smiled, dimples etched on his cute baby face. "Alright, come on then."

Both of them walked out of the room. They chatted for a short while. Of course, it was only a trip to the stair cases. They walked right down the middle. Formally, Niall's hands were held out for Taylor to grab onto and they descended slowly, with smiles on their faces and glimmer in those blue eyes.

**–**

**December 3**

He wore that pure black tuxedo with formality and a gentleman demeanor, with a simple tie and a white polo on the inside. His ocean blue eyes waved sparkling beneath his glasses. His hair, the ocean's shoreline was the color of sandy blonde and shaded just a bit darker in the roots. Everything fits him perfectly, it was no wonder however, as he is Niall James Horan. He wore his most adorable grin as he looked at Taylor. **1**

Taylor smiled back with her blood red lips, etched beautifully on her pale yet, lovely face. Her blonde hair was tied up in a bun behind her head with braided locks spun around it. Seeing as her hair only touched the lowest point of her ear, she had to use extensions but it wasn't even obvious. There was also a touch of few strands hanging just behind her ear and her bangs straight down across her forehead. She was exquisite the way she is as though a rose blooming in the middle of the night. Her make up, was rather dark, especially on her eye-shadow to match her black gown crawling down to half a meter behind her as she walked, fitted you could see her body figure so easily. Her back was scarcely hidden on the see-through black net designed with black roses and thorns. She walked in grace down the red carpet, descending slowly in the world full of flashes and smiling faces looking up at them. Her electric blue eyes scanned the crowd, camera flashes, lively music, familiar faces, a collage of smiles and a flashback of memories was all she perceived.

"It'll just be eight of us, the lads with their partners. Zayn couldn't come since he didn't graduate with us, didn't he?" Niall whispered.

"Yeah, I get that." Taylor answered then smiled for the cameras.

Her heart skipped a beat as Niall led her to their seats. She stood there, breathless as she saw a shadow walking towards them, a ghost of a man standing six feet tall, forest green eyes scanning the crowd, with a dimpled smile etched on his face. His hair was different, it was a normal cut, it almost resembled Niall's, only his hair was curly brown. Just once did those green eyes lay on her, then disappeared within seconds as his attention went to his present, there wasn't a room anymore for his past.

Taylor was stunned for a moment, she saw him before, and it was normal – not like this. It was like seeing a ghost, a glimpse, a memory. She didn't know if the one standing in front of her was real.

She felt the light urge to go to him, touch his face but she knew she can't. Because his arms were being held by his wife, his beautiful wife. She had a combination of fiery red hair with waves ending down before her waist, and almost the same green eyes as Harry's, only lighter. Only the bump on her belly was the reminder that she is pregnant, other than that, she looked normal in her loose navy blue dress that sparkled like a night sky with a million _shining stars_ you will never be able to count.

Taylor took one step, she asked herself why... _Don't. Just don't._ She inhaled sharply, and closed her eyes. She wanted to get out, escape. . but how? Her problem was inside her, her insides were burning, there was no running from it.

"Taylor." A voice called. She didn't notice it. It only echoed in her head until it disappeared. The room was getting hotter by the second, cold sweat started trickling down her forehead.

She felt two cold hands touch her face. And she opened her eyes, sea-green eyes were staring at her. "I-I uh, I'm okay." She breathed out.

Louis let out a faint smile. "Sorry for messing up your make-up. But you can't stay freaked out." He said.

"I-I know. It's--it's--" _okay, how do you explain it?_

"Well anyways, it's nice to see you without glasses again. Brings back the old times." Louis said, knowing she couldn't say a thing.

"Clear contacts. Thanks." She looked at Louis from head to toe, classy and sassy as ever. Then she averted her eyes to Danielle. "Hey Dani." She greeted Danielle as her eyes studied her.

Her curly brown hair were tied up behind her like a bouquet of brown roses added with a few silver accessories. Her dress was a long cream satin and swayed as she walked, it almost matched the color of her skin. She smiled at Taylor who smiled back at her.

"You look beautiful." Taylor said.

"I appreciate the compliment." Louis said, him and Niall laughed.

 _Pssshh._ "That was for Dani."

"Don't worry, Tay. It's fine. I'm used to it." Danielle answered. Louis whispered something to her and kissed her on the lips.

"Get a room." Liam said, wearing also a black tuxedo with a striped blue tie. His hair remained the same and alongside with him was Sophia with wearing a dark purple gown.

"Whoa." Taylor's jaw dropped then closed it afterwards as she shook hands with Liam. "Nice to see you again. How're you doing?"

"Great and---"

All eight of them from the table turned their heads.

A blonde, curly haired woman came wearing a black gown, almost the same as the design Danielle was wearing, it only differed in color, and despite her high heels, she managed to skip cheerily to their direction. As she came closer, Taylor found out who she was.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh...my ...gosh!" Perrie Edwards exclaimed as she came nearer. "Taylor Freaking Swift!" She wrapped Taylor in a bone-crushing hug. Then next was the rest of the lads.

Before Taylor could even react, Perrie was already back to her and said "The girls are very looking forward to see you!" She almost yelled.

 _Whoa, Perrie..._ The smile from Taylor's face couldn't disappear. She couldn't erase it, she was way too happy to see Perrie again.

"The-The gi-girls?" She asked.

"I thought Harry was the stutterer, ugh, come on Tay!" She pulled Taylor's hand but stopped even though Taylor was following her.

"Oh, lads, I'll borrow her for a moment, that okay?" She asked.

"Sure." Niall answered.

"Fine." Louis said.

"Alright." Liam added.

"Great! One last permission." Perrie was referring to Harry as he was the last lad who haven't agreed.

"No, Perrie. It's okay, come on." Taylor said, literally pushing Perrie away since she didn't want this occasion to be awkward as it is for her to everyone.

"No." Perrie stood still in her ground. "All of the lads. Except Zayn, that's understandable." She said. _She said it pretty well, he's her ex._

"Perrie come on." Now Taylor pulled her but she was still grinning at Harry, waiting for him to answer.

Perrie pulled her. "Nope. We have to hear it from all of them." _Of course you do._ She had no choice but to stand there, waiting for Harry's answer.

His green eyes stared at her for a while, then smirked. "Why do you have to ask me?"

Perrie opened her mouth to answer but Taylor knew she might spill out about their past so she answered the question herself. "She didn't have to. It's always my decision anyways."

"Yes, so if you're gonna go, I'll let you." He said, his face was serious even hidden behind his half-smile. Taylor knew it was about her leaving him back then, how he let her go but she didn't know if it was for sarcasm or he was plainly stating it. That caught her off her guard.

"Harry." Niall whispered.

"See? Come on!" Taylor pulled Perrie away and this time she was successful. Perrie understood instantly and so did the rest of the lads so it was alright.

The reunion isn't to start until fifteen minutes away so Taylor took the time to see her old friends again, Selena, Abigail, Emma and many more. She managed to answer a lot of their questions, particularly about her and Harry back then and how they are doing now. Because yeah, basically that is where her life spun around. She didn't like talking about it even though she is comfortable enough. She just didn't want it to be the center of her life, because that's not how and where her life started, and sure as hell that is not where it'll end. They talked further to their present lives and that's when the subjects got more comfortable. She found out a lot and exchanged numbers for communication. She even made a way to talk to their old teachers where, they said she almost looked the same, the difference was the hair.

While the conversations were going on, Taylor took the time to notice what she haven't earlier, the venue. **+**

The colors were gold, white and red with a touch of sparkles. From the drapes to the carpet, everything was formal. The curtains were open, showing the clouded night skies as it was snowing outside. The stage was in the middle of the two stairs where they entered. After ten years, they made their auditorium something more. The only flowers that could be seen were the roses in a vase in the middle of every round table. And there were a lot of colorful, blinding lights that danced with the music. It was like how it was back then, the only difference was the ten years in between. But no matter how different though, one thing is for certain, that the prom ten years ago and the reunion now, are both unforgettable.

The reunion started a second right after Perrie gave her back to the lads. She sat down with a smile and looked at Niall. Sitting across her was Liam and Sophia, in front of them was Louis and Danielle while behind her was Harry and Liz. The hard part is, she could see Harry from the corner of her eyes.

Niall kept her comfortable while the two of them talked with Liam and Sophia though they never forget to include everyone in their conversation. The program started with speeches from their peers and a guest.

 _"Back then, most of you were a band of misfits."_ The one talking said.

"That's us." Niall whispered and Taylor laughed.

 _"But look at all of you now, engineers, doctors, architects, managers, simply, professionals..."_ and it went on and on and on.

The first dance came on, and the song was "Heaven" by Bryan Adams. The lights went down and all they ever saw was slight shadows of the few people who got up to dance.

Louis was the first one to stand up in their table and led Danielle to the very center of everything. Everyone looked over their shoulders just to see the two.

"Louis was your first dance, wasn't he?" Niall asked.

"Really? Louis?" Liz asked and both Niall and Taylor had to turn their attention to her, just not to be rude.

"Yes, since her boyfriend back then was late. He loved to make entrances." Niall said, Liam, Sophia and Taylor laughed at his joke. Harry though, didn't seem amused.

"Yeah, Tay's ex was a bit of a grand entrance lad. Anyways, where is he?" Louis added, pretending to be looking around.

Again, the people in the table except Liz, Harry and Taylor laughed.

"Hey, Harry, you know him. Why aren't you laughing?" Louis asked and that's when Taylor grew a bit scared since Louis could be stepping out of line.

Taylor knew that even with his lips sealed shut, his teeth were gritted and his frown grew a bit more unpleasant.

And then he sighed, one moment he glanced at Taylor and then looked away. "Inside jokes, they're not always amusing to me." He muttered and then took Liz to the dance floor.

When he left, the rest of the table burst out laughing. "Oh God, you got him mad." Taylor said, trying to keep her laughter to a minimum.

"He deserved that." Liam said as a side comment.

"Do you want to dance?" Niall asked. He got up on his feet. Again, Taylor was in no position to say 'no.'

Taylor smiled and held his hand. She stood up and Niall led her right between Louis and Dani and Harry and Liz. He placed one hand on her waist and one hand holding her hand. Her last free one was on her shoulder, like the usual dancing position.

"That was a yes, right?" Niall asked in the middle of the dance.

She scoffed but still smiled, "You chose the perfect location for the dance."

Niall grinned amusedly while she heard Louis chuckle. "Really? You have to listen to every conversation when you're near?" Taylor said still looking at Niall, but it was really directed to Louis.

"Yeah right, I wasn't listening." Louis remarked.

The song ended and all of them went back their seats. There was another speech from their president of the student body. And another song played, a song by David Pomeranz, Got to Believe in Magic.

"Neil." Louis called as people were starting to go down the barely lit dance floor.

"Uh yeah?" He said, popping a mint candy inside his mouth.

"Change partners, okay?" He asked, winking at Taylor. Taylor smiled and Dani was looking over her shoulders.

"Sure." Niall mumbled.

Louis turned to his girlfriend and said, "Is that okay, babe?" He asked Danielle who overwhelmingly answered "Yes!"

"Louis, be careful... Niall, might steal your girl." Taylor joked.

"Do that and I'll burn every Nando's." Louis warned to Niall.

Niall gulped as he walked right in front of Dani. "Can I be your second dance, ma'am?" He asked and led confidently. _The irony of it._

Danielle replied with a smile and took Niall's hand. That left six people on the table but since Sophia went with Harry and Liam danced with Liz, Taylor and Louis was left behind.

"Just so you know, I'm not dancing you until the next song." Louis informed.

"Why, what about the next song?" She asked.

"There are no next songs, yet. One speech first then a few songs then I'll dance you." He replied.

"Oh, okay." Taylor said. It was alright, she can remember the thousand times when Louis danced her, she guessed it's okay to let him rest from it for a while.

Time escalated quickly that night, after a speech, a performance and a few songs, it was Liam's turn to host. Honestly, it was weird but he did well.

"Oh, I think we've got another number here." Liam said and smiled, eyeing the table where they are. "Lads can you come up here please?"

"D'ya know a thing?" Niall asked around the table and most nodded a 'no.' Even Taylor doesn't have the slightest idea, all she felt was the eyes turning to their direction and the spotlight that landed on their table.

"Well, we can't really disappoint the crowd." Louis said, wiping his mouth from the cocktail he just drank and stood up. He first kissed Danielle's cheek before walling forward.

Soon enough, Niall and Harry left the table, leaving the girls behind. Danielle moved to the seat where Niall used to sit whereas Sophia moved to where Harry sat. They even moved the chairs to keep a close watch at the lads onstage, sitting there like they had been friends their entire lives.

"Whose plan was this?" Danielle asked. _She reminds me so much of Eleanor!_ Taylor bit her lip as she pushed that thought aside and shrugged.

"Bet you they'll sing their oh-so favorite, Half a Heart." Sophia said to Taylor since they have been hearing that since ten years ago. The lads recorded most of these songs just for fun and just to save some songs in their phones but they turned out really well they had to continue it and it had been a habit through the years.

Taylor laughed, _no, not for this occasion._ "Night Changes." She bet.

"I'm going with Taylor." Danielle said.

"What are you guys talking about?" Liz asked and all of them turned their heads to face her.

_Doesn't she know?_

"Uhh, the lads' songs?" Sophia answered though it was somehow a question.

It was a bit impossible for Liz not to know a thing but judging by her perplexed face, it was obvious that she hadn't got an idea as to what's going on.

"Harry never sang." She said and her eyebrows met. "He can't have a band."

The ladies didn't know how to react to that since they knew well that Harry could sing pretty well and he is part of a band – or at least he used to? That part, Taylor was unsure as she didn't know if the band still goes on.

"He does." said Danielle. "In fact, that's their band, oh? That's them and they still have a couple of new songs."

That answered both Liz and Taylor's question. As awkward the situation was, she could barely speak of up and tell Liz about those details. She decided to remain quiet and it was awkward for a few seconds.

Liz looked like she was trapped inside a maze, trying to find a way. Taylor pitied her a little, because why didn't Harry tell her?! She's his wife! How come he never said a thing?!

"Well, this just got awkward." Danielle said. "Tell you what, if they don't play any of the songs, all of us gets to be your child's baby sitters anytime anywhere." She said.

_I'm not talking that risk._

"Right girls?" Danielle asked.

Sophia agreed immediately while Taylor stuttered, "Uh-y-yeah s-s-sure."

Taylor sat back and closed her eyes as she waited for the opening melody of the song they are going to play.

They played a familiar melody, making Taylor smile. She opened her eyes and looked at the girls. She smiled at them and said, "I win."

Niall started singing, a substitute for Zayn since he couldn't come.

_Going out tonight_

"Ah, yes!" Danielle said and high-fived Taylor.

The song went on about. They eventually reached the chorus where Harry sung alone. Half of the time, Taylor's eyes were goofing off and she tried as much for her ears not to listen but that song is really great she couldn't stop herself. Her eyes wandered the cloudy night skies, _snow..._

The chorus was almost done when Sophia sat with her and whispered, "Harry was looking at you."

She didn't even know if it was a joke. "No, she's looking at Liz. Come on, Sophia, not now." She shrugged.

"Alright alright, no need to be all defensive." Sophia joked again.

Taylor rolled her eyes and focused turned her eyes on the stage, accidentally reaching his gaze... sure as hell he wasn't looking at her, he was looking at Liz who was behind Taylor.

The chorus ended and Louis stepped forward holding his mic with a grin on his face. He started singing, _chasing it tonight, doubts are running 'round her head._ Louis walked down the stage while singing while the lads follow him with their eyes.

_He's waiting, hides behind his cigarette._

He walked towards their table –which wasn't that far from the stage– and extended his hand to Taylor instead of what she thought he'd do for Danielle. He grinned and sung, _heart is beating loud and she doesn't want it to stop._

At first Taylor was so confused about it, _should I?_ But then Danielle kept pushing her and told her for the hundredth time to just dance. A lot of eyes were on them too.

Taylor took his hand and Danielle squealed like it wasn't his boyfriend who just asked Taylor for the dance. They went to the middle of the dance floor as Niall sings his solo. _Moving too fast, moon is lighting up her skin, she's falling, doesn't even know it yet, having no regrets is all that she really wants._

"Ooops, we're up!" Louis removed his hand from Taylor's waist and lifted the mic near his lips then sang the chorus with the lads.

Taylor followed the lyrics with her mouth as she knew this song so much, and yet continued to dance slowly with Louis.

He continued singing, _b_ _ut there's nothing to be afraid of,_ he led the mic away from his mouth and said, "If I point it to you, you sing." He didn't sing a line just to say that.

"But I don't--" Taylor was going to protest when he put the mic back where it was and continued, _'It'll never change--"_

He put the mic near Taylor, but she was that slow that she wasn't able to sing that line. Louis groaned quietly, then said, "For that, you're singing my lines in the bridge. Start when I point at you, stop when I wink." He said.

"What an orientation." Taylor remarked and put as much sarcasm as she can. "If I don't?"

A photographer came and flashed a picture of the two of them then left instantly.

Louis cooed her using only his face, "I would give you a long one but no time to explain, next to Liam is me. One word, projectors." Louis pointed his eyes to the projectors which Taylor had her back on.

Taylor turned her head to glance at the projectors they were setting up near the stage, she was horrified at it. "Okay." She said as Niall sung first, _Going out tonight, changes into something red._

Then Liam, _Her mother, doesn't like that kind of dress._

Louis pointed the mic to Taylor, and she sung, _reminds her of th-th_ e –it was only this moment she found out she was actually singing with Harry and Louis was there to watch her shocked expression. Still, she made the most of the split second to respond, _missing piece of innocence she lost._

He took the mic back to him, winked and sung. He sang and danced with Taylor until the song ended. Louis took her back to where it was and before he left, he whispered "He was looking at you. Talk to you later, White Queen."

"You two looked cute." Danielle teased, ironically speaking.

"They always did," Sophia remarked. "Except for the height thing, though."

That's when Taylor just brought out herself and laughed aloud. She almost got tears in her eyes, "Like oh my God, that! That right there Sophia!" She said then continued laughing. The other two laughed with them.

Danielle caught her breath and said, "Seriously though, why didn't you and Louis, um end up together?"

"That kinda sounds like odd coming from you." Taylor said.

"Oh no, I wanna know." Danielle said.

"I thought you liked Zayn." Liz came in the conversation. Good thing, it didn't seem like she was out of place.

Sophia laughed, "Zayn? No, Zayn was with Perrie back then. Taylor was--"

"Taken." Taylor said and gave Sophia a meaningful glare, which she understood immediately. "Louis had just been my friend ever since. Trust me, not once have he thought about changing that status."

"Right. If Taylor or Louis wanted that, then they he never would have met you." Sophia said.

"Oh, okay." Danielle said.

"Your voice sounds so good by the way," Liz complimented Taylor. "Went well with Harry's voice."

Taylor felt her cheeks burning up, "Uh-Uh thanks." She replied. Sophia winked at her. _Wish she'd stop._

"Hear the crowd, girls?" Danielle asked.

All of them turned their heads to look at the stage. And most people are jeering and cheering and screaming and yelling, "One more!!" For a formal occasion, they went back to their rowdiness.

Liam chuckled on the mic and said, "We haven't got another one prepared, folks. But anyways, we killed time didn't we? For the next part..." He said looking down at the program in his hand. The lads went down the stage and back to their seats, except Liam, of course. "Ooh, throwback videos and pictures for Class '09. Ladies and gentlemen, let us all watch the video presentation."

_No one told me anything about this…_

Taylor's jaw dropped. Louis looked nervously back at her as a memorable music starts to play and the presentation started showing their pictures, first by class… _no pictures of me and Harry please. How would his wife react?!_

"This shouldn't come out well." Niall said, it was true. It is the kind of thing Taylor would say at this moment. They are going to show their old photos and Taylor remembered she's got dozens of those with Harry since one, they were together back then and almost the whole school knows, two, their old photographer was one of her close friends.

Louis looked back at her and mouthed the words "You okay?"

Taylor smiled and mouthed, "I'm fine." Louis smiled back and both of them looked at the screen in the middle of the stage.

The people started laughing at their pictures or the pictures of someone they know. They even ended up calling whoever is on the screen or has the funniest picture. The screams and jeers continued and so far, nothing. Taylor brought it to herself to calm down and just watch it.

They saw a picture of Liam with his old bangs and most of them laughed. "Oh God, look how cute you are." Louis yelled and Liam heard it from the stage.

"Thank you, thank you very much." Liam replied sarcastically on the mic.

The presentation continued and it seemed to be taking on forever. Taylor was eager for it to stop, because no matter how or what, she really couldn't calm down about it. She rested her hands on her temples and took them off the screen for a while.

"Oh God." Louis said and Niall swore something, then all of sudden there were these familiar yells – that didn't sound so good.

Taylor looked up at the screen. _Oh shhh----_

Harry and her holding hands back then, Harry was even carrying her guitar. He was smiling, – well, they both are actually and at the worst, they're looking at each other and all Taylor was worried about was Liz. She was not supposed to see that. _We were alone that time, how could someone possibly take a picture?!_

But that was the least of Taylor's worries.

Taylor gasped but it didn't make much noise as she hears cheers all over. She felt the eyes of the couple behind her boring in the back of her mind. Liz is surely staring at her, watching if she'll turn her head to check on Harry. Harry probably never told her, and it's such a shame she had to find out the hard way.

Danielle turned her head and looked at Taylor but she didn't say a thing. She just turned around again. Sophia too, she looked at Taylor and to the Styles behind her then gazed away. Taylor hated how they acted like she was guilty of a crime. But it's already there, and it's making her woozy. She's starting to feel uneasy.

"T-Taylor." Niall called. Louis looked back at them but turned around quickly as though trying to avoid someone's gaze.

"Y-Yeah?" She stuttered, that felt good to be out of her thoughts even for a while.

He smiled and said, "Nothing." Niall glanced down at his arm which Taylor was unknowingly holding tightly.

"Oh, sorry." Taylor let go and sighed, she felt her head starting to ache so she brought out her phone and fiddled with it for a while.

She texted Louis, saying:

_> > How'd they react?_

"Lou." She called but she couldn't really wait for it.

"Check your phone." She whispered.

Then Louis did as told. He replied,

_> > Two pairs of green eyes not looking at each other but instead ata blonde woman._

_He couldn't be any more specific._ Taylor typed and replied,

_> > Thanks._

She hoped there won't be any more pictures of them alone. And the presentation was almost about to end when...

 _Here we go again._ She gulped down nervously when one of the last pictures showing was them kissing after graduation. Her arms were around his neck while his arms where around her waist, both holding each other close.

Taylor didn't want that memory to be relived but unfortunately, her memory part of the brain is much faster than the decision-making part.

_Seeing as both their surnames started with “S” and not other graduate had a surname to go in between the “Styles” and the “Swift” the two consecutively went up the stage and went down. Harry, of course never forgot to take a picture of his beautiful girlfriend wearing that pure black graduation coat._

_Taylor so eagerly smiled at the camera or Harry – the photographer himself while holding her diploma. Her parents and friends were all there and she could see the pride in their eyes. Seventeen years of existence, and she finally graduated high school, one step closer to a good future._

_She went down the stage and Harry was the first one to get to her._

_He immediately hugged her and said, "Congratulations, babe."_

_"Yeah, you too. Happy Graduation." Taylor replied while laughing._

_Harry let their foreheads touch before pulling her close for a kiss. His hands snaked around her waist to pull her closer while Taylor placed her arm at the back of his neck. He kissed her slowly, passionately as though he hadn't done that in a while. He made her follow every move his lips make until he broke free from it._

_“I love you.” He whispered then smiled, he still hadn't let go of Taylor and still kept pulling her close._

_“I love you too, Harry.” She replied and Harry leaned in for another kiss and while they did, a camera flashed and whirred._

She typed the words quickly to Louis,

_> > This is so uncomfortable._

And then Louis replied,

_> > I agree. Don't worry, it's ending. Don't freak out at anything, okay?_

That sounded a bit weird but still, Taylor replied,

_> > It's not like I can help it._

Taylor sat back and listened to the own rhythm of her own heartbeat. She could almost dance at how fast it is, it seemed like it was trying to break free from the cage in it. If only Taylor could do that, but that would mean dying on spot.

Thankfully, the presentation ended and they applauded. Liam went back to the middle of the stage and mentioned a couple of things. A lively song played for the next dance though no one in the table stood up for it. The presentation seemed to have killed the mood.

Taylor wasn't listening and she wished she hadn't just heard the conversation they are having behind her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Liz asked. _She's taking it in well._

"We'll talk about this back in the hotel, alright?" Harry said. _Always dodging questions._

The whole few minutes of Taylor being that quiet, she watched someone whisper something to Liam while pointing at their table. Liam shook his head as though he didn't like the idea but the other guy, _he is Marco,_ seemed like he was really pushing it. Taylor wondered what they were talking about.

Liam went onstage and cleared his throat. "Well, this is just in, folks. Guests are suggesting of a performance from our batch. Any performance, who do you want, folks?"

People yelled a lot of stuff, the teams back then, the bands, the dance crews, mostly performers.

"If someone just screams 'Haylor', you're screwed." Niall joked but Taylor knew it was more likely to be real.

"I know." She whispered, praying and hoping that no one would. It's about a crucial five minutes later when Liam called up another band from the highschool, and the crowd cheered as they gladly went upstage.

Taylor sighed in relief as the music starts playing. "That was a close one." She whispered.

Niall laughed, "Yep, that's a heck of a nice save."

And then after, there was another performance but this time, it's a dance performance. It was an odd scene seeing those men in their tuxes and krumping but nevertheless, the crowd was pleased.

Taylor was already relieved and then that's when she was starting to relax. Liam kept talking upstage and the program was about to continue when...

"What about Haylor?" Someone yelled from behind. She wished she was just hearing voices but then all of a sudden the crowd was starting to scream that name. She wondered if she really heard it in the crowd or it's just the voices in her head where someone actually screamed 'Haylor'.

Taylor and Niall turned their heads to that direction, only to find out Harry and Liz were looking at that other table –where that someone yelled– too. It is where Perrie is seated and apparently, she was the one riling up them up to scream it. It wasn't really long when the other table started yelling that too, because that is where Monica–the photographer– is seated.

 _Oh no. Please don't let it happen, God please no._ Taylor was praying, she didn't want that to happen and she wouldn't want to see it happen.

Then she could just hear it, and she couldn't find out where the noise came from.

It probably got to Liam too, because someone whispered something to him again and he was pretty much upset about it. Taylor feared it might be about what she is thinking right now. _Please, let me be wrong. Don't tell me it's not what I think it is. Please, just not that._ Now her heart is trying to break her ribcage, her eyes are blacking out she kept getting the woozy feeling. She dark some water but it surely wasn't enough.

Fainting did seem to be a good idea right now, but who would want to be in the center of attention in that way?! Her mind was still debating, if she fainted, right there, she'd mess up the prom, but at least she'll escape. Still.

Liam stared down at their table, his face seemed like he was sorry for it but he couldn't do a thing. Like Taylor. They are all helpless at the moment and she wouldn't even be able to decline. _Don't say it, don't ever freaking say it._

"Requesting for Taylor Swift and Harry Styles to come onstage please."

Eyes were on them, voices were telling them to go up, hands were pushing them but neither of them wanted that.

"I-I c-can't. Next time, maybe." Harry reasoned out. At least he can defend himself from it while Taylor couldn't say a thing. She just shakes her head and wish she wouldn't be dragged up.

"Come on, Taylor!"

"Go on you, two. Just a song."

"Prince and princess, stage now."

"Hurry, Harry."

And there were a lot of other things. The crowd screeched and went mad when Harry stood up. _Don't come to me, don't come to me._

Harry came in front of Taylor and extended his hand. "It's just one song." He said.

He stared at her with his forest green eyes, Louis was watching, so was Niall, so was Liz Styles, so was the entire batch. It didn't seem like she had a choice. _I really don't have a choice._

Taylor, – regrettably and madly – held Harry's warm hand with her freezing cold one. She closed her eyes as she did and when she opened them, they were already on the way to the stage. She was ready to faint, she could black out any moment, she never thought she could take it. Her knees felt weak, she felt so cold. _How could he take this?!_

The crowd cheered as they made their way up the stage. She'd glanced at Louis or Niall who'll both look at her with worried eyes. Even Liam had that apologetic look on his face as they passed by. He was saying sorry, and Taylor had to smile faintly so he would feel better, even if she really felt like a girl forcing to act in a wrong play in which she had no idea what to say or do.

All that time when Harry was leading her up to the stage, she felt like she was walking in the wind though it wasn't a good kind of feeling. It was one of the worst. He was holding her hand though she couldn't feel it, nothing was supporting her bit thin air, nothing was trying to keep her together. Physically, he was, but inside, nothing.

Harry let her go and she stood there, in front of the crowd. A lot of familiar faces looking at her, a lot of flashing lights binding her and a lot of memories piling a weight on top of her, tearing her apart second by second.

She focused her eyes on Louis and tried so hard to breathe. She was good. Taylor was almost going to it but then she saw Liz's crestfallen face. It made Taylor wonder if it was her fault, if that look on a kind woman's face was one of her art. She can't do that, she wouldn't break someone's soul, though something is telling her that she already has, and that's the kind of human she is. She destroys. _No, stop, just please stop. Stop!_

She couldn't stop, not by herself. Her eyes are seeing a lot of things but nothing came to her head. Her ears are listening to everything but only one came in, that's when she managed to snap out. Someone called her, someone called her name.

Maybe she couldn't process it well, because she had to look first before she realized, Harry had been calling her name for a while now. And she had been unresponsive. _Snap out of it, Taylor. Just snap out._

Taylor closed her eyes and opened them again. She managed to convince herself in a positive way. If she didn't do anything, then that's not her fault. She can't over think these things like she always do anymore. She has to know how to handle things better.

"Taylor." Harry called her once more and their eyes met. He smiled at her. He was a foot away but there's something about his smile that comforted Taylor so much. Her heartbeat eased and she felt much better. Finally.

He gave her her mic and said, "Like old times."

"Thanks." Taylor said and grabbed the mic. She couldn't think about anything right now and she's basically just letting Harry take a lead. She put the mic on the stand and cleared her throat.

Harry whispered something to the musician and Taylor heard a familiar melody. It started off with a piano. And it's taking her a while to recognize the song.

Harry sung, _You and I,we're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky. With you, I'm alive, like all the missing pieces of my heart that finally collide._

He smiled at Taylor knowing she would recognize the song. How could she not? It was one of their songs back then. It was the Sad Song, by We The Kings. Out of all the songs he could pick, he just went on with the one that could bring back a lot of things.

He continued singing, alone. Taylor didn't have to sing until the next verse since the original version was a duet of a boy and a girl, most likely, the girl would start on the second verse.

_So stop time right here in the moonlight, 'cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes._

Taylor looked around the crowd, and she looked at Liz who was intently watching. She wasn't watching Taylor, she was watching Harry. It made Taylor feel a little relieved though that couldn't stop her shakiness. She started hearing the beats and the instruments louder, meaning she's up.

Taylor thought about how the lyrics were so easy to relate to. But right now it's the reverse, with him, she brings back the past instead of leaving them. And she's not a beautiful mess anymore, she was horrible dreck, being a part of his life again. Her fears? They come back when she's with her. She thought, _why did it have to be this way?_

She continued, even though she knew that after this, Harry and her will sing at the same time. She hadn't got much choice.

_So stop time right here in the moonlight, 'c_ _ause I don't ever wanna close my eyes_

Here they go.

Taylor felt the eyes that were on her but one pair burned her on the spot. She tried, she stole one glance at Harry who was right at the moment staring at her.

_Without you, I'm just a sad song._

Her lips are trembling, she had to look away and he did too.

_You're the perfect melody, the only harmony, I wanna hear.You're my favorite part of me,_

Taylor took another glance at Harry. She just can't help but do so. He smiled at her and sung,

_You standing next to me, I've got nothing to fear_

Some of the crowd started applauding and cheering as early, a bit louder when Harry took the mic off the stand and walked towards her, leaned in. His face was just inches away.

Harry softened his voice into a whisper-like singing voice.

_Without you I feel broke, like I'm half of a whole_

She sighed, knowing she's next and the pianist was basically waiting for her.

_Without you, I've got no hand to hold._

He bit his lip, the pianist stopped again. Poor pianist, but all he had to do was follow them. Taylor took a deep breath and continued,

_Without you, I feel torn like a sail in a storm, without you, I'm just a sad song_

He kept staring at her, their eyes locked gazes and she was worried about it. His wife is there, the entire crowd is watching. _What is he doing?!_

_I'm just a sad song._

Taylor closed her eyes and gently pushed him away. They are in front of a hundred people, they can't just--- she shook every thought out of her head as she smiled wryly and walked away from the crowd. They applauded, of course.

She sighed and she dropped to her seat. She can't take anything like that ever again. She didn't know where to look at all, and she's trembling so badly.

Harry passed by and Niall talked to her casually, trying to stop her trembling. "Shh, I swear, you're going to have a cold." Niall held her hand and felt her forehead. "Yes, cold. And red. Guess it's a place thing, you kinda look like your old self."

"Thanks." She whispered. _How in the hell am I going to survive without these guys? Like how?_ She wrapped her hands around Niall and just took in his perfume. She badly needed it.

She saw Liz staring at her from the corner of her eyes and she knew she had to ignore it. She can't really apologize, she's not guilty of anything. By not apologizing though, it'll make her feel so naive. She let go of Niall and buried her face on her hands.

She let herself calm down.

"Hey, don't cry. Your make-up will be messed." Louis said.

Without looking at Louis, she hit his face. "Oww! I was concerned." He said.

"I was concerned too." Taylor lifted her head and smiled, "I mean, your old face needed a little fixing."

Danielle and Niall laughed. Danielle asked one thing, "You okay? You're so red."

"I'm fine, thanks." Taylor replied.

"Brace yourself." Niall said.

"What? Why?" Back to her freaking out self.

"Not to alarm you or anything but the last dance would be the like our old prom, your last dance partner back then would be your last dance partner now." Niall said.

"What?!" Her voice raised a little. _No way. Not again. She almostdied on stage, not again. At least not infront of his wife._

"I'll handle it." Louis said in a soft voice. "Harry." He called.

All of them looked at him, even Taylor. "Yes?" He asked, his voice low and he's back to serious.

"Your last dance will be--"

"Taylor, I know." Harry said. "I listened." He said and gulped down. "That'll be alright with you, right Liz?" He turned to his wife.

And most eyes on the table were on her. Taylor saw how uncomfortable her position was and how she didn't really want to go along with it. Now she had the feeling in which she couldn't make a choice for herself.

"It's okay." Liz smiled and Taylor sighed. Liz was definitely confused about everything and Taylor knew that. She's still coping up with every information she just got.

"Settled, then." Louis smiled and bowed his head, looking at his phone. Their attention was averted to where they were before.

Taylor sent a text to Louis,

_> > She didn't like the idea._

And then Louis replied,

_> > I know. You understand, right?_

"Yeah." Taylor said and put her phone back inside her pouch.

She closed her eyes and the next thing she knew, it was already time for the last dance. She had no idea why it's taking too long. It's not that she didn't enjoy it, she did. Only, it wasn't the same "happy" kind of joy, but something else different and far from the word.

And just when Taylor thought it couldn't get more uncomfortable. David Pomeranz's 'King and Queen of Hearts' started playing.

Everyone from their batch started looking for their old partners. Niall and Louis already left their seats. Taylor wouldn't mind if Harry doesn't get up, in fact, she's be much happier of he didn't.

Apparently he did, he stood right in front of her and said, "Just for tonight."

Taylor hesitated but she ended up gripping on his hand. She stood up and he led her in the middle of the dance floor. Her fingers were trembling as she held onto his hand and while her other hand laid on his shoulder.

She bit her lip, she couldn't look straight at him. She just tried to focus on the song, she sung quietly with it and she could hear Harry doing the same thing. It was quiet minute for the both of them, none of them could say a thing.

Then her eyes laid on the screen on the stage. It's replaying their old last dance. Taylor could remember they have a couple of seconds focused on that and apparently they'll be shown any second now.

Now, she felt like the weakest, most vulnerable item in the world. She felt woozy, her head ached badly and her heart throbbed a little more quickly than earlier. Her stomach was turning upside down, her other insides went to jelly. Nothing is ever working right anymore. Again, it wasn't the best feeling – she wanted it to stop.

One moment, just one moment when her legs lost the strength, she almost fell. But she found herself holding onto Harry for support.

"Sorry." She apologized quickly and averted her eyes from his gaze. She was trying to avoid him as much as possible. No matter how impossible it seemed at the moment.

Back to the screen, where it flashed the two of them. Her hair was the long set of curls back then, while his was a mess-full of curly brown hair. They were too young back then. Too young and too in love. _Oh God._

Taylor's first thought was to look at his wife. She was concerned of course, she was concerned of her probably more than she is concerned of herself right now. And she saw a woman, sitting there in the brink of tears while watching his husband dance with another woman. It shouldn't be a big deal, but there's something in Liz's eyes that said she's doing something plain wrong.

Taylor inhaled sharply and let go of Harry. She shook her head and slowly backed away. She moved on. She moved on. She moved on. And so did he. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal. But thinking of his wife's feeling right now, it is. Taylor thought about it, what if she's the wife and she's looking at Harry dance like that with his ex-girlfriend? What if she's the wife and she watched as her husband and ex sing onstage? It'll be painful. It doesn't matter if they've moved on, it doesn't matter if both of them doesn't have the same love they used to have. It's just painful, and Taylor knew that just by looking at Liz's pained green eyes.

She didn't offer an explanation and instead walked quickly away. She knew this entire school like the back of her hand and when she got out of the auditorium, she ran, she was lucky she didn't choose high heels for this occasion.

She just continued running, she knew where she's going and she's going away, she wanted to go away... far from the situation. Her heart was racing against her footsteps, she didn't know which one was quicker. She guessed it was much better now that she's outside, she might calm down, even for a bit because she might lose her mind if she didn't.

Taylor stopped running and caught her breath, her heart still throbbed like an earthquake inside her chest but she kept moving forward. She exited the building.

Snow fell down gently on her hair and her but the wind wasn't that much very friendly. It was freezing, yet she couldn't bring it to herself to go back inside. She just wanted to keep going.

Around her, everything was black and white, the place was barely lit, she mostly got the light from the moonlight and continued walking forward. Snow everywhere and the trees kept swaying with the howling wind. She kept her arms close to her, she was shivering, but it felt much better than being inside. _Taylor, what are you doing?_ She honestly had no idea, the sanest part of her brain is acting up, and it still won't change a thing.

Her hair got caught up into something when she tried avoiding a tree, she had to remove the extensions and settle with her shoulder-length hair. She ran her fingers through her soft blonde hair and kept walking forward.

Finally, she chose to lean against a tree and sat on the ground. The tree was the sane one they used to hang out back then. A lot changed bit she couldn't tell the differences detail by detail as it was a dark night. It was cold, she had the thought that she might freeze to death but she knew it was unlikely to happen, she won't let that.

_Are you going to cry?_

"No." She actually answered her thoughts. She told herself she wouldn't cry for these things and she's gong to stick with it. She just needed a moment alone, after that emotional wave that just hit her, maybe it's better that she went out here in the cold. It was in the slight hopes not numbing her feelings out but then again, it was also impossible. Being alone would just let her cool down, have a moment or two to be with her thoughts and think things through, why she's overreacting, why she'd so concerned, why everything seemed so affect her that badly.

It was all quiet for a while until she heard a low voice call out,

"Taylor," that voice said.

She didn't bother looking, she knew who it was, judging by the accent of how he said her name and how deep the voice is.

"I'm taking you back there."

And then Taylor looked up.

"Why?" Taylor asked Niall.

He walked near her and sat beside her. "It's almost ending. Do you think we wouldn't find you here?"

"I think it's pretty obvious that I'm here. I always go here back then, didn't I?" Taylor replied.

"What happened back there? Unless you don't want to talk about it, it's cool." Niall said.

She shook her head and said, "I don't want to, really. Kind of proud to say that I didn't cry." She joked.

"Yeah, or you'll be a mess." Niall chuckled and helped her stand up. "You alright now?"

Taylor nodded. "Yes. Is Liz--"

They started walking forward. "Funny how you're concerned of someone not even remotely related to you. Yes, she is alright. But Harry disappeared a few moments after you did. We don't know where he is."

"Bathroom?" Taylor joked, with a cheery smile on her face. She didn't know why she find it funny.

Niall laughed the ringing bell laugh and said "Probably. What happened to your hair?"

"Oh this?" Taylor ran a hand through her hair and said, "Got caught up in something."

"Yeah?" Niall messed up his own hair to the point that it looked like there was a tornado that just struck through it.

"You didn't have to do that." She said.

"I know, but we're twins, remember?" He smiled and Taylor did as well.

They got back to their table and Harry was the only one missing. Taylor's mind was debating if she should talk to Liz, something is telling her she shouldn't because after all, it wasn't in her place.

"Niall." Louis said with a wide grin. He faced the two, facing everyone on his back, really. Danielle was listening but she didn't bother turning around like Louis did. "Wait for the two of you to come home. I mean wait before--"

"Louis." Taylor groaned. "Really?"

Niall and Louis laughed. "I wouldn't do that, not to her." Niall said.

"Of course not, if she was with Harry right now, they probably wouldn't finish--"

"Louis!" Taylor snapped. She knew Liz was listening. _How could he be that sensitive?!_

Louis soon realized what he's done. "Sorry." He whispered and turned around.

 _Idiot!_ Taylor was so close, so close to actually slapping Louis for his stupidity and madness at the moment but she can't. It's Louis... she won't do that.

Taylor texted Louis,

_> > You really killed the mood._

And Louis replied,

_> > I'm sorry :(_

She replied,

_> > Don't worry... the night's almost over._

It wasn't very long, it was about ten minutes when the program ended. Taylor could finally sigh in relief. Harry only showed up during the last two minutes and not a word where he's been. _Definitely, bathroom._ Taylor and Niall went out together with Louis and Danielle behind them. As of now, they are making their way to where their cars were parked since the parking lot was full.

"You two could stay at the Swift's tonight." Taylor suggested to Louis and Danielle.

"Louis! Can we, can we, can we?" Danielle begged like a child. She even used the puppy dog eyes and tugged on Louis' arm.

"Why not?" He said then Danielle squealed. "We're going to stay up all night tonight."

"Who says you're planning?" Taylor asked, continuously walking and glancing back behind them.

"The sassmastaah did."

Taylor rolled her eyes. "Anyways, what were you guys really planning? Didn't you guys want to settle for like the hotels or---"

"Taylor watch out!" Louis yelled.

A car is quickly approaching, last time she blinked her eyes, it was a meter away. It wasn't slowing down.

As soon as Taylor saw it, she just saw the flash. Then Niall pulled her away and both of them hit the ground. Both of them landed on a thin pile of slow and ended up breathless.

"WOULD IT KILL YOU TO HONK THE HORNS?!" Louis yelled at the driver. He cursed loudly at the driver who didn't bother coming back to check. "YOU BETTER PRAY I DON'T SEE YOU IN TOWN!" He yelled again, shaking in anger as he cursed the driver again. Many people heard him but as far as Taylor know, he didn't care.

Taylor got up on her feet first, she helped Niall. "You two okay?" Louis asked. "God damn that stupid as---"

"Louis." She snapped. Nothing happened to her, it was done. "Wouldn't do much of a help now would it?"

Niall groaned as he dusted the snow off his hair.

"Thanks, Niall." Taylor said.

"Don't mention it." Niall smiled. "In fact, I'd appreciate it if none of us says a thing in the near future." He said.

"Yeah, me too." Taylor said, calming herself down for the hundredth time tonight. "That was scary as hell. And to be honest--"

Her stomach turned upside down and just bent forward to throw up. Good thing, Niall wasn't in the way and they managed to take a step backward.

She closed her eyes and wiped her mouth. The sour liquid taste was still on her tongue and her head kept spinning. Her reddish, orange vomit was on the ground, it's disgusting definitely, it bugged her too much because she hadn't threw up in a while.

"Is that blood?" Niall asked, there was worry in his voice.

"No." Taylor said. She wasn't at all lying since she didn't taste any blood and the cocktail she drank earlier was red. "Don't be alarmed, the cocktails were red."

"I'm taking you home, now. Louis, you know the way don't you? Just catch up." Niall said, his voice shaking and quickly walked Taylor to the car.

He drove in a tremendous speed, Taylor was starting to worry about it. It's a snowy night, the roads are slippery.

"Niall, come on, I'm okay. Slow down a second." She said. Niall slowed down.

"Thanks." He said.

"For what?" Taylor asked.

"For calming me down. Thanks, twin."

–

Midnight, Taylor is now more than comfortable as she snug into her pajamas. Niall too was in his pajamas and they were almost getting ready to sleep because it had been a long night but while they were messing around in the kitchen, Danielle and Louis arrived. Austin was in the kitchen too, probably making sure that the food in the fridge are safe.

"Did you two stop at a hotel first? What took you so long?" Niall asked, stuffing chips inside his mouth.

"Actually, we did and--"

Taylor cleared her throat just to tease Louis and Danielle. Louis looked pretty annoyed but he let it slide and smiled instead.

She introduced Austin to Danielle and then they got caught up in a short conversation. After a while, Taylor grabbed a bag of chips and said, "Lou, may I borrow your girlfriend for a while?"

"Sure. See you later, babe." He said and kissed Danielle on the lips.

Niall and Austin looked away as if they were uncomfortable with that. They just continued eating.

Taylor led Danielle upstairs and showed her their room which was a few doors away from Taylor's room. Danielle dropped her luggage on the side and sat on the bed.

"This is a nice house." She said.

"Thanks." Taylor smiled. "Too bad though, you didn't get to meet my parents, they would have been stoked to meet you."

"I wonder why." Danielle said.

"Well, it's just the lads, all five of them are like already members of the family and trust me, my parents knew every girlfriend they've had." Taylor replied.

"They've met El too?" Danielle asked.

Taylor froze for a while but she found herself nodding. "Yes." She answered and sat with her, "Yeah, they've met El."

"Louis told me you two are good friends. I don't mind really but are we really the same?" She asked.

"Yes, we are. And I don't see much of a difference, really. I'm not saying Louis chose you because he saw El in you because trust me, there's a big difference in that kind of thing. If Louis fell for you, then he fell hard, and it's definitely not about your similarities with El. Okay? You're still something else that's not Eleanor." Taylor said, trying to be comforting as much as possible.

Danielle sighed, "Yeah, thanks."

"Also---"

Taylor's phone rung, she stared down at the ID for a while and one more time for tonight, she froze. She couldn't believe her own eyes.

"Who is it?" Danielle asked, probably noticing her sudden silence and frozen state.

"H-Harry S-S-Styles. H-How?" She looked at Danielle, and even she seemed confused at it. _Harry Styles is calling... me? This can't be real. It's not him._

"Excuse me, Dani. I think I should take this. I'll come back here in a minute." Taylor said and Danielle nodded. She ran to her bedroom and shut the door tight.

She finally answered the call, she was even wondering why the caller waited for her that long to answer.

"This is Taylor." She said.

"Dr. Swift?"

 _Oh my God. Oh my God. Alison?!_ She heard Alison's childly, crying voice. She sobbed through the phone and Taylor felt like crying too though she hadn't had a reason to do it. Just hearing Alison's lonely voice killed her.

"Princess? What's going on?" She asked and she thought maybe Alison didn't have to answer that question. Because beyond her sobs, beyond her crying little voice, Taylor heard two people arguing. And she feared it might be the two people she had in mind right now. _Oh my God, no._

"Mommy and daddy are fighting again." She said through her sobs.

 _Oh shhh--- what the hell am I going to do?! Think, Taylor._ "Uh, do you have any earphones, headphones nearby, princess?"

"Y-Yes."

"Good, can you please plug it in the phone?" Taylor instructed and she heard some rustling noises, Alison must be doing what she was ordering her to.

Taylor bit her lip and sat on her bed. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it tight as she waited for Alison to answer.

"Done."

"Can you still hear them?" She asked.

"Y-Yes." Alison cried. "I'm scared, Dr. Swift. I'm scared."

Taylor's eyes were watering, she didn't know if it was pity for the child or something else that is bothering her. Imagining the child, hearing her parents argue, it's not something you could easily go through.

"D-Don't be." Taylor replied, her voice shaking. "Can you go to sleep?"

"I can't." The child answered.

"It's okay, I'll stay up with you. We can talk as long as you like." Taylor said.

"Can we, please?"

"Yes. Where are you right now?" She asked.

"In the bedroom, hotel. Daddy and mommy--"

Taylor had to cut her off right there, "It's okay, it's normal. Just pretend that you're in a bubble, go get a blanket and get under it."

"Here." Alison whispered and continued crying.

"There. We're inside the bubble, can you picture it?" Taylor had to ask. She was practically biting her lip, hoping that the child would only pay attention to her and not her parents who are arguing at the moment. "We're inside the bubble and there's nothing around us. Nothing, it's just you and me. You can't hear anything outside."

"Can Meredith and Olivia be inside the bubble?" Alison asked, she's still crying, based on what Taylor is hearing but it was starting to ease.

"Sure. All of your toys, anything that makes you happy are inside that bubble. Imagine everything that makes you happy and they are all inside the bubble." She replied. "Can you imagine them?"

"Yes."

"Would you still cry? They are there to make you happy, they will always cheer you up. Just imagine the bubble and you can be happy anytime. They will make everything disappear with one---" Taylor imitated a pop noise.

She heard Alison laugh. Taylor smiled at the thought of Alison laughing.

Alison imitated the pop noise and giggled. "Can there be a camera so I can take a picture of them?"

"It's your bubble, princess. Everything that you want is in that, as long as they make you happy, they are allowed to be in that." Taylor replied, feeling much better.

Alison imitated a shutter noise and a pop noise then giggled.

"You're doing great, now visit them in your dreams." Taylor said.

"I will." Alison said, Taylor could imagine her smiling right now. "Can I please keep talking to you?"

"It's not a problem, sweetie. Okay, tell me about your day..."

Their conversation took a while, Taylor enjoyed it. She would hear the background of Harry and Liz arguing but she would draw Alison's attention somewhere else. Within that time, they even sung a few familiar songs and told stories. The phone call lasted for a while until Taylor could no longer hear Alison's voice from the other line but her sweet, soft snores. Taylor smiled at how her feeling was light when it comes to Alison. _Must be the eyes._ She was glad that she met her, she is this blessing she didn't know she needed in her life.

Around the time that Taylor spent time with her, Taylor had grown to love her, she can't resist the child anymore. It felt like she's already a permanent part of her life. Taylor wouldn't know how it would end, and thought that maybe one day they would be far apart but she was prepared for it.

That moment when she wasn't answering anymore, Taylor smiled and said,

"Goodnight, princess. Sweet dreams."

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

_"We need to talk."_

That simple statement with four simple words could make your simple life complicated. It brings back all the things you are guilty of, and every secret you are keeping right now. This simple sentence could just screw your life. Especially if Harry Styles was the one who told you that.

In the middle of a quiet day, after her birthday, -December fourteen to the exact- she received a call from the caller ID, Harry Styles. At first, it was fine since Taylor knew it was Alison who is calling her but it turned to be really Harry Styles.

Despite her protest, saying she didn't like the idea and she'd rather not, he's as complicated as always, he still told her the place and told her he'll really come. If you think about it, Taylor have every right to say 'no', the only thing is, she thought it might be the one to end it all, maybe that's all they need, a little closure to stop the anxiety and every little worry she had.

So here she is, driving to Shaden Park, thinking of a million scenarios in her head about what could easily go wrong with meeting up with her ex. She already tried to clear this up with herself, _Closure, nothing else but closure... and probably talking about Alison, that'll be cool too._

Taylor is running a bit late, just a bit, it was only three minutes and a half. It still worried her because what if Harry arrived earlier than she did? It shouldn't really be a big issue, but she knows Harry and she has anxiety. It sucks for the two of that to be on her mind because they cause her to create unnecessary illusions in her head that will probably never happen.

She sighed and pulled over, she parked her car on the side of the street, trying to see if there are any black Range Rovers around. She was unsuccessful seeing as she only saw a quarter of her surroundings because she is still inside the car. She saw a lot of people wearing thick winter clothes, children ready for fun things and adults for their own businesses. She could hear the laughter and noise from inside the car and she focused on that for a while.

Her phone rang again and she picked it up as soon as she could. She also looked at the caller ID, to make sure he was the one calling her.

"Yeah?" She answered the way she usually would if it was her friends. She figured the not-so-casual approach worked a bit better. Because she tried calling him "Mr. Styles" during the phone call and he just replied with a stiff, "Don't call me that."

"Where are you?" He asked. He said it normally like they haven't had all these past behind them.

"Park." Taylor answered in a slight teasing tone. She smirked at how much her mood changed with just one word.

"Be specific, Taylor." He grumbled then groaned as if he is out of breath. "Never mind. I'll just try to find you."

She shook her head and chuckled quietly. "You're just going to waste your time. It's impossible."

"Ten years, I didn't think it was possible to see you again. Yet, here we are." Harry replied, terrifically outsmarting her in words.

Taylor rolled her eyes. "How are we having this kind of conversation? Seemed like yesterday when you frowned at my very presence."

"Hey, in my defense, it wasn't the best day of my life. My boss was being an--- and that's exactly where I am headed, I'm sorry, okay? This is why I wanted to meet up with you." Harry explained.

"Why a sudden character change?" Taylor asked sarcastically, though not the offensive kind of sarcasm.

"I'm always me, Taylor. I just had a thought during your birthday, we never really had closure and I just have a lot of things to talk to you about." He said, now he sounded like he's out of breath.

Taylor caught a glimpse of him from the window and she smiled, looking at Harry dressed like that really reminded her of the times before. That and he's weirdly walking around quickly with a phone on his hand.

She sighed in relief, _I thought he was really going to kill me._ "You won't find me if you keep walking around wearing those one inch brown boots, blue skinny jeans, v-neck dark gray shirt and a black coat. Where are your curls?"

"Taylor, you're looking at me, right now. Where are you?" Harry asked, looking around in his extremely confused face.

"You took like half of your curls away. Should I still call you 'curls'? Or you being twenty-seven and all is kind of uncomfortable with that?" Taylor said, teasing Harry and observing how he would react.

"Just tell me where you are, Taylor... just one answer." He frowned and looked kind of frustrated but even then, Taylor couldn't stop herself from keeping this teasing game.

"Where do set of curls go? Tell me where you cut them now." Taylor somehow said that in a singsong way and laughed. He just heard Harry groaning in the background. But still, as she saw, he's still in a good mood. "Too bad, I've grown to love them."

"Taylor." He chuckled. "You don't want me to turn tables now do you?" Harry asked playfully, it's the first time Taylor heard it that playful in years.

"Stop walking, answer the question. You cut them, too bad, I loved those curls." Taylor whined, teasing Harry again. She saw Harry laugh from a distance. He sat on a bench and looked around.

Harry bit his lower lip and smiled. He might be forgetting the fact that Taylor was watching him. "Of course you have, you tugged on them every time we---" **4**

Taylor suddenly knew where he was headed and went out of the car. Harry was a few meters away so she walked towards him. She ended the call and put her phone in her pocket.

Harry stood in front of her, he smiled, his green eyes focusing on her. "Look who finally decided to show up."

"We gotta settle things, didn't we?" Taylor asked and smiled back, in a friendly way as if she just didn't annoy the hell out of Harry earlier.

"Let's get inside."

Harry led her into an Italian chain where they both ordered lasagna and a slice of pizza each. Both payed for themselves and the first part was them being quiet. It was only a matter of time when Harry started bringing up how he acted the past weeks.

"I was kind of bitter towards you so, sorry." He said after a long description of a sequence of events in the times he seemed like he hated every inch of Taylor's being.

"Apology accepted." She smiled. "I'm sorry too, I kind of stole some time with your daughter. I'm really sorry. I can't--"

Harry took a bite out of his pizza, never taking his eyes off Taylor. He swallowed and said, "Hmm, it's alright. I mean, if you had a son with the same eyes as mine, I would probably do the same thing."

"Thank you. I thought you were really mad at me for almost everything." Taylor replied truthfully.

"I wasn't." Harry said. Now he wasn't looking at Taylor, he was watching the snow outside. "Maybe I was confused because I didn't know why you just show up and there are things I clearly don't know. I just hate the feeling, it felt like I had no control of everything around me."

"That's deep." Taylor remarked sarcastically though she understood every meaning he was trying to say.

Harry grinned and looked back at her, green eyes matched with her blue, trying to read her just as much as she was trying to read him. "Thank you."

"For what? The sarcastic remark?"

"No." Harry answered immediately. "For not changing. I don't--I don't want you to change."

Taylor drank from her drink and said, "I have no idea what you mean. But it's gotta have a good meaning, right?"

"Definitely."

"And do Mrs. Styles know about this?" Taylor asked, she stared and studied Harry's face. He couldn't look straight, he bit his lower lip and tapped his fingers on the table. Taylor bit the insides of her lips and waited for the last sign, _If he stutters. Just one stutter, Harry._

He opened his mouth to talk and ended up closing them. And then he talked, "Y-Yeah."

"Okay then, just between the two of us. I think I triggered too many doubts in her head about me already." Taylor replied.

"So you knew I was lying?" Harry asked, and Taylor sensed some atmosphere change, she already clutched on her coat and phone tightly.

She remained calm, "You say that like I didn't spend a thousand hours with you."

"That was way beyond ten years ago." Harry rolled his eyes. "A lot can change within that time."

"I know." She replied, "But some things remain."

Then surprisingly, Harry smiled. He licked his lips in a very annoying way and asked, "Like what?"

"Things that are left behind without an explanation." Taylor reversed his mood right away. She didn't like the cold Harry though she didn't like the too cute one either, she just feels weird about the too cute one.

Harry's smile slightly faded. "So do you really want to talk about all of that, now? We're having fun, Taylor. You're just gonna end it?"

Taylor sighed, "I just wanted to clear the air sooner."

"You have somewhere to go? I thought I could have you for one full day." Harry replied.

"I am not sure who I am for you to have for a whole day. I agreed to come so we could talk about things we needed to talk about."

"If you want to ask things, then fire them up." Harry said.

"Have you ever been mad at me for, well, let's say right now, I spend a lot of time with Alison?" Taylor asked.

He shook his head. "No."

"I thought Louis said you were furious the day you found out."

"Maybe... I was jealous of the time she spends with you two, I never get that." He replied.

Taylor knew it was the truth, Alison said a lot of things about her and one of them is Harry being too busy all the time. Aside from that, Taylor knew Harry and Liz had been fighting quite a lot these days.

"Then why don't you?" Taylor asked.

She observed that Harry and her almost hadn't had good eye contact ever since they came here. He had been averting those eyes from hers. She noticed it, alright, she just didn't say a thing.

"Because I'm busy."

"Then find time." Taylor replied.

He was quiet for a while, he just continued eating his lasagna. Then he finally asked, "No more questions?"

Taylor thought about the question for a while, then she found one at the back of her mind. It was the question she had been wanting to ask in a long time.

"Alison." Taylor said, "You are fully aware that my middle name is Alison, why did you name your daughter after it?"

She looked straight at Harry's green eyes though he averted from it. Still, she studied his face, and how it changed as creased started forming. He frowned a bit.

"I didn't." Harry said.

 _Liar. He's such a liar..._ "This isn't going to work if you don't say the truth." Taylor said.

"I am saying the truth." _Lies._

Taylor rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Since we're not completely being honest, where do you think this would head?"

Harry scoffed too, then stood up while saying, "Louis is right, I can't do this." He moved quickly and took his coat, Taylor just stopped him - or at least slowed him down.

"Where do you think you're going?" Taylor asked, completely irritated.

"Where do you think?" He rolled his eyes and continued walking. A few bystanders turned their heads but Taylor shrugged them off. For the first time, she just didn't want to mind anyone.

"Thank you for wasting another hour of my life." Taylor raised her voice sarcastically and Harry stopped right in front of the door.

He glanced at Taylor then muttered, "Always a pleasure." The bell rung as the door shut behind him.

Taylor drank from her iced tea and then left, just a minute after Harry did. She actually didn't feel a thing, they both have each other chances not to be strangers and both somehow screwed it up for each other. To Taylor's defense, _he screwed it up worse than I did._

She went home after that and stayed there for a while. She played back the memories from today, wondering, just wondering why she had agreed on the first place. Now, they just made it clear for each other. They just made it clear that they chose to be strangers and nothing more.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

"Look, all I want is a clear answer." Taylor said, walking back and forth, trying to wipe the irritation from her head. She didn't want to be stressed out at this moment because there is nothing to be stressed about ­– except for Louis.

"Did you or did you not just force Harry to talk to me?"

Louis groaned and laughed. He ripped out a blank piece of paper from one of Taylor's notebooks from her desk and folded it into a paper airplane, still with a smug smile on his face. Taylor just waited until he said something.

He chuckled, "Ha, I couldn't get Harry to do a nick about his garden, d'ya think I could get that fella to talk to ya?"

"He said 'Louis was right, I can't do this.' Do you think he was talking of another Louis?" Taylor asked as she sunk down to her seat.

"No." Louis answered, for once, Taylor was satisfied because it wasn't a remark of sarcasm. "I didn't force him. Couldn't do that. I only bet a hundred bucks that he wouldn't be able to last for two hours. I win."

"You know the two of us well enough." She said, letting her head sink down on her arms. Taylor left Louis from her gaze for a while but she still continued to talk to him.

"I was hoping I'd lose." Louis added.

Taylor smirked but it disappeared instantly. "That's a waste of a hundred bucks, if you ask me."

"Not entirely." He said. "But you do know that I wanted him to talk to you, not to bring up anything like old feelings but for the two of you to finally have things cleared up in the past. It's sad to think that two of my best friends had a beautiful past but now see each other as strangers."

Taylor lifted her face, her jaw dropped and her lips shook. He said it well, he said it just as Taylor thought about it.

"Damn, you should write a novel." Taylor replied, she smiled cheekily.

"Wipe that smile or I will do it for you."

She stuck with that mischievous smile. "How?" She raised her eyebrow playfully. Louis took a while and she didn't wait for it. "Listen Lou, you gotta go home. I don't care if it's Saturday, just rest."

"Why would you want me to––"

Taylor raised an eyebrow as she stared at Louis' eyes, his tired, sleepy, sea green eyes. "Dark circles. Go home, sleep. Or spend some time with Dani, whichever way."

"Yeah? Maybe you're right. Sorry for coming here, unexpected."

"It's okay. The next time you can't sleep, just tell me." Taylor replied. Louis said he stayed here because he couldn't clear his head at night, he couldn't sleep most of the time though he had no reason to stay awake. Taylor suspected he had insomnia but he didn't want to tell him this early. There might be other reasons why. And besides, Taylor too had been experiencing that though not always. That's why she decided for the night shift in the first place.

"You too, White Queen." Louis grinned and walked out of the door.

Her day went by too quickly. She got a phone call from Cas, who seemed to be alright in his mission. He said he was helping out on the evacuation and he was really tired and he just wanted to talk. Taylor and him talked for what seemed like hours though nothing too serious, they mostly talked about the stuff they did and usually do.

Also, she found out about Mrs. Fredricksen retiring and she won't be able to see her starting next year. They had the rest of the week before the holidays to say goodbye.

Alison, on the other hand, had been calling more often. She said her dad allowed her but he would never talk to Taylor. It meant nothing to her, she wouldn't want to talk to a guy who is uninterested anyways.

And the last call from this week, this day on December 19, was from El. She was inviting Taylor to come with her on some club, a little girls' time for her birthday, she declined. Knowing she can't really force Taylor to go clubbing, she just left her a good greeting...

"Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to the Tommo. Have fun."

"Is that a reminder or---"

Nothing, after that, El ended the call. That... that right there is the good definition of moving on. Taylor smiled and saw the days ahead of her. Louis' Birthday, Christmas and New Year.

–

**Christmas Eve**

Christmas music blasted all throughout the Swifts' living room. They just finished with their Christmas Eve dinner and now they're all sitting near the fire, over a red Christmas carpet near the tree with gifts under it. This year gave a different wave as they spent it like they have been doing that for years. But honestly, this is the first time that Louis and Danielle spent Christmas with them, and Taylor hadn't been able to last year.

It was a fun sight, all of them wore Christmas sweaters, Scott and Andrea Swift sat together nearest to the tree and the chimney, Austin and Shiela on the couch, then Louis and Danielle on the floor, Taylor was on the floor as well, close to the tree with Mavery on her lap. They were all having a good time, telling stories, playing boardgames – that Mavery messed up a lot but they didn't mind – and having sing alongs.

They opened all of their gifts and most of them didn't expect what they got. As a treat, Louis gave everyone a gift and it's the same thing Taylor did. Of course, Taylor didn't forget the fact that it's Louis' birthday. One of her gifts was a chocolate cake that wrote _"Tommo"_ in white icing on the top.

"Yes, princess." Taylor said as her phone was near her ear. She covered the other to make sure he can hear Alison better.

"Merry Christmas, Dr. Swift."

"Merry Christmas too, Alison." Taylor smiled, she had a gift for Alison though she didn't know how to give it to her yet so she decided to keep it quiet. "Greet mommy and daddy for me." She added sweetly.

"Yes. Goodbye." Alison replied back innocently. Taylor didn't want to steal away a few more moments so she ended the call instantly. She smiled and heard her family calling her. So she went back to her spot and played with Mavery with his new fluffy pillow and fancy remote control car. The car, courtesy of his awesome uncle, the Tommo bear. Whereas Taylor got a teddy bear from Louis. Taylor didn't mind it, it's just that she thought his gift to Mavery was awesome.

While in the middle of the whole Christmas celebration, Louis decided to play his teasing game.

"Hey Taylor." He yelled and a few sets of eyes were on him. Austin didn't bother looking.

Taylor looked up at him with a questioning face.

He grinned then said, "Harry says 'Merry Christmas'!" Louis teased and those who can relate to the joke, laughed. That included Danielle, Austin and Andrea.

Taylor threw a Christmas ball at him and shouted, "Tell him, thanks. Eleanor greeted you Happy Birthday!" _It wasn't a lie, she did send her greetings._ She wasn't being insensitive because Danielle was right there. She would apologize if her reaction set off an unwanted mood but didn't. In fact, she laughed loudly like everyone else who got the joke.

Louis didn't say anything else and just laughed with everyone. Taylor was amused in seeing his defeated face.

Taylor scooted over to Danielle with Mavery still on her lap.

"Hey." She greeted, her voice ringing.

"I don't feel bad, Tay. Don't ever think of apologizing." Danielle replied, probably reading her thoughts. She laughed at Taylor. "Besides, if Louis does that to you, feel free to hit him with the best comeback."

Taylor laughed as well. "Oh my gosh, you're so perfect!" She exclaimed. She didn't think there'll be another woman like Danielle. That's what she thought about Eleanor too, sure, but something is really different. The times when Louis and Eleanor were still together were the good times, but... it's time to move on. "Also, call me if you've got some problems. I'm here."

"Thanks, Taylor." Danielle replied and they both saw Louis dancing in the middle while singing along a Christmas song. "He's always killing the dance floor."

Taylor rolled her eyes, "We don't live forever." She replied. "Also..." Danielle glanced at her and smiled cheekily. "I love this cat hat thingy." Taylor wore the gray cat hat. She adored it so much she's even thinking of bringing it everywhere. But of course, you can't have a doctor wearing that or else, you'll freak out.

"Welcome. Louis told me you loved cats too much."

"Well, he spills too much. You probably know a lot about me now.”

"Hmm, you and Harry, Eleanor is your best friend, you sing quite well, you love playing the guitar and you can play the piano too and---"

"Okay, Dani. No biographies." Taylor joked and Dani just laughed with her. After a while, Louis sat with Dani and winked at Taylor. _He is up to something, most definitely_.

“Oi, Taylor."

"Yep?"

"Ever notice that you're the only one without a partner here?" Louis asked, not in the offensive way but the teasing way.

Taylor placed Mavery right in front of Louis. Danielle played with him instantly. "Now, what were you saying?"

Louis laughed... and the rest of the night went on and about with events similar as these. They had a peaceful yet fun evening and most of them even stayed up until five in the morning. They made sure they made the night unforgettable since who knows when they'll be able to do something like that again?! A lot can happen on the next year ahead of them, especially now that their paths have crossed up.

"Hey Taylorrrrrr." Louis said in a singsong tune.

Taylor groaned because she was still too sleepy. After sleeping at five am, she lost track of the time but she was certain she didn't want to get up yet.

"Not now, Lou."

"I've seen something I haven't seen beforeeeee." he sung the last part in a certain tune. Taylor ignored him and just kept sleeping.

"If you don't wake up, you're going to have a not-so-good surprise." Louis said.

"So be it." She mumbled and threw a pillow at the direction she suspected to Louis was sitting. True enough, she heard a soft thud but then the next thing she knew, her room was quiet again. It was a lovely type of quiet that made her easily shut her eyes and go to sleep.

–

**New Year's Eve**

Taylor sighed, she could only look out the widow to watch some amazing fireworks display. Unfortunately, her schedule crashed with the holiday and she couldn't be home at this hour so she decided to call up her family to greet them. It also includes Louis, Eleanor, Danielle, a bunch of other friends and lastly, sweet little Alison.

She was amazed at the colors that explode in the skies, the flares light up the dark navy blue night. Every boom, every color, everything fascinated Taylor and she couldn't stop watching. She even forgot the reason why she loved watching fireworks so much.

Well, until she was called in a delivery room. She didn't think twice and scurried away.

On the way though, she noticed something different on her phone. It was as the clock ticked twelve midnight. It vibrated and a familiar song came on. Something was different, her wallpaper was the same but something else was different.

She was walking quickly but her fingers fiddled with the screen. She almost dropped it but she had to be quick at the moment.

_I hate Louis so much._

Taylor didn't know what to do when she saw it. _Oh God._

She put the phone in her pocket and ran to the delivery room. She cleared her mind and focused but you know, it'll always haunt her.

That New Year kiss, that kiss Harry and him shared back then. And she remembered, that night changed something. Now she remembered why she loved watching fireworks, because that's what she felt when his lips touched hers.


	5. Chapter 4

Apparently the happiest memories will eventually have an ending.

**January, 17**

Taylor stayed inside her office, currently loving the soothing effect of the silence and the weather. She wanted to have someone to talk to but since most of them aren't vampires like her, who was awake during the night, she urged herself not to bother anyone. She didn't have anything to talk about so as far as she's concerned, this night is as normal as any other night.

_Funny, the night seemed to be quiet._

Just as that thought was about to make sense, she heard something over the speakers, **Dr. Swift needed on delivery room seven.** She grabbed her glasses and put them on. And at the same time, her watch vibrated and marked the black screen with the word **'URGENT** ' blinking in flashy yellow text.

Without a single hesitation or doubt, Taylor stood up and walked quickly towards the hallways. It's the same usual routine every time and she didn't want any thought distracting her so she cleared her head and filled it with reassuring thoughts. _Another child, another life, another family... Taylor, you're going to help another one. Trust me, everything will go out smoothly tonight._

She sighed and walked a bit faster. A few more couple of steps would do. She squinted her eyes in the distance because she thought she saw someone familiar. "Niall!" Taylor snapped while Niall kept up in her fast pace. "What are you doing here?" She breathed out and continued walking.

It's not like she needed to ask but Niall is rarely seen in hospitals unless there's an emergency. _So, what is the emergency?_

"What do you think?" The lad asked as they walked much faster to the delivery room. Taylor was wondering why he was walking with her until it hit her.

She saw Harry, Alison, Gemma, Lux and two elderly that looked like Liz, in fact Taylor suspected that they were Liz's parents. Though, where is Liz. Her mouth slightly opened, _maybe it isn't a normal night after all._

 _Oh shh---_ Taylor finally realized why they were all here. Her heart beat at a very fast pace, faster than her steps earlier. Everything inside her mind that had cleared became a horrid, dusty glass she was trying to see through. Her mind had messed up again in the moment she needed it to be clear as crystal.

Taylor panted, still, she couldn't get out of her head. "Hi, Auntie Taylor." She heard a young female voice and realized it was from Lux. Each and every one of them who were there had their faces worried, tensed, nervous especially Harry, Taylor couldn't fail at this. God knows what'll happen if she did and it obviously won't be a stroll in the park.

She wished and prayed that she would be able to do this. Only two in the group was smiling, and that's Alison and Lux. Two little ones from different times, the ones who keep making Taylor feel a little better despite the situation. And these two looked on the brighter side – that's what Taylor needed. She wished Louis was here to flash that reassuring smile too but that isn't an option right now.

_I can't do this. I can't do this._

_Yes you can._

She thought that would help her snap back to her senses, she thought she had her head clear but wrong again. A thought simply had to interfere, _The baby wasn't due until February, he is premature._

And she tried contradicting with that, _No, calm down. You've worked with premature babies before, you'll be okay, so will the baby, so will his mom. Just keep your head clear._

She reached for the door pushed it and went inside. Inside she saw the bright light focused on the woman on the table, the nurses preparing the tools and plugging every equipment for the operation, all of them were clamoring over what to do, where to go, how to do it, what to grab, and where to stand by. All of them were already wearing their surgical masks and gloves and the like.

Though, Taylor was still frozen, not physically but internally. She felt like her heart stopped beating, how she wanted it to beat faster, her blood didn't move in her veins and they remained in their place, and her mind, it shut down along with the rest of her body. She was watching the scene before her eyes, everything was in fast forward and she only had a split second to catch up for the lost time.

She didn't like the feeling at all, it's almost unexplainable, yet it's close to a hurricane and an avalanche caused by an erupting volcano mixing up inside her. And all of these were her emotions, she was scared, worried, nervous, anxious, and she hadn't even started yet.

Taylor swallowed hard in the hopes of shutting down her emotions and doubts of the moment. She had to be quick, she had to do it perfectly, she had to do it with ease. She can't do that with a foggy head.

Again, Taylor wished Louis was here – that reminded her of something. Louis once told her what to do when she's feeling like this. When she's feeling the uncertainty of everything around her. _Imagine you're in a play._ A split second passed, machines started beating, tools were already laid perfectly on the table, they were all running around quickly, yet precisely as though they memorized everything about this scene, like they already knew what will happen. _They are all actors in the play, you are too._ Taylor watched them and they were lightning fast while the time moved too slowly. Two heartbeats later, _we all have roles to play, play yours in the character you are currently in and you have one goal, finish the play with the audience pleased. So even though you fail, make sure you tried. Because apparently all of these will head straight to one ending… and one ending only. That's your goal, the ending. What's the ending now?_

_Delivering the baby._

Taylor finally snapped back, her senses hyped up, her alertness reaching the maximum. Gloves, masks, and everything else, Taylor started doing her specialty in medicine.

"Doctor." A nurse called her and she didn't have to hear any more words. She looked at the screen and saw the baby isn't in the upright position which meant his feet will go first. _That can't be right, why now?!_ She prayed hard for something to change but nothing did. _Why now?!_ It made things complicated but that's what always happens when Taylor is with Harry, or even any trace of him. Now is not an exception for it. They are going to have to make a clear choice if they wanted to deliver the baby safely because if they try to do it normally, a thousand things could go wrong.

She had a choice, she's making the one she thinks was a better option. _CS._ Taylor gave the signal to the nurses, one went outside and informed her family while the rest of the group prepared themselves for what's coming.

_This would go wrong._

A nurse handed Taylor a sharp, shiny tool and she looked at it for a moment, _imagine that blade running through her bare skin._ Taylor's nose wrinkled at her own disgusting thoughts. She couldn't shake it off though because it's somewhat right.

She quickly but smoothly run the blade through the woman's belly. _You're not doing it right._ Blood, _I am!_ skin, _no, you're going to fail._ tissues, and flesh. One tool to the other, one cut to the next, Taylor's head was filled with hesitation and it's making her nauseous. Still, she focused until she saw a part of that baby boy.

As the wound was held open, Taylor put her hands through and made sure she was gently but quickly handling the child. And as if the sky cleared up when he was finally in her arms, crying and moving around.

The nurses already helped with the umbilical cord, though the baby hadn't been cleaned out yet. He is still covered with the bodily fluids he's been sleeping in for the past eight months. Taylor was supposed to put the child on the table like they usuals. She was distracted, she forgot to.

Suddenly, everything changed. January 17th didn't seem like a normal, cold night anymore. It was the dark, snowy night with howling winds that easily transcended to a day with soft sunshine, and the cool, calm winds that would calm anyone down. Every bad feeling disappeared from Taylor and was replaced with the soothing wave of emotions and thoughts. It's a strange feeling of being connected to a trace of Harry, to feel like you care for someone you shouldn't because he wasn't yours to begin with... though Taylor didn't think twice. She can't help every feeling that's coming to her.

The baby was a little angel in her arms, he was a miracle. She couldn't believe how, without even the slightest efforts, she had already got herself stuck and taken to another world by the baby boy in her hands. Her left hand was holding his head while the other right was supporting his body.

He was an innocent, soft, fragile creature in her hands. A smile crept on Taylor's face with her eyes brilliantly sparkling. _There he is._ "Hey, baby boy." She whispered. Everything about the little boy drew Taylor close, everything about his little ways fascinated her and he had only lived for a minute still. He had the same effect as his father, for once, Taylor didn't regret a single thought that runs through her mind.

It's like the world didn't exist at all. It's almost the same thing with Alison. Only, Alison was a trance, a portal to a beautiful world filled with memories and everything wonderful only a child could imagine. She was this photograph that would remind you about the beautiful past and all of the other joyful experiences you have. This baby boy, he was almost the same thing, only –like his father,– was a puzzle, was a glimpse of the future Taylor couldn't see.

Taylor was distracted too much and she had only realized it when a nurse called her.

"Doctor Swift." She said, Taylor turned her head quickly to look at her and she asked if she could handle the child now.

"Oh- uh-uh. S-Sorry." Taylor gave the nurse the baby boy and went back to Liz because that is what she's supposed to be doing. By the time she got there, it's as if they didn't need her help because all of the necessary stitching and patching were done.

She was starting to feel the relief that should have been washing over her since the baby was delivered but then her ears rung in alarm as another nurse called her name.

It seemed as though she was in a movie, and she's currently inside the intense scene where people pause for breath, stop because they knew what would go, rewind because they missed something, slowed it because they didn't want to miss a thing and fast forward it because they didn't want to see the bad things that would happen.

Taylor asked them what's going on in a way she hadn't before. She's more tensed now than ever as she saw the nurses grab the breathing apparatus and stethoscope. Somehow, she didn't need an answer.

The nurse answered her question but all she heard was the part that made sense. "--his heartbeat is faint."

"But that can't be, he was healthy earlier. He was okay." She muttered to herself because she can't accept the sudden change. He was okay, he seemed to be healthy when she was holding him. _Don't give up on me, baby boy. Live._

Taylor was praying that he'd make it through... _just make it through, baby boy. Come on._

The tension grew in her head and it's not making things easier. She helped the nurses and did the best she could. No other thoughts filled up her head but the ones that focused on saving the child. She wanted him to live.

She heard the cry.

–

Taylor sighed, removing the gloves and the mask. She closed her eyes and calmly rethought about the things that just happened.

_He's a beautiful boy._

She bit her lip and leaned on the wall near the door. They were finishing up and the hour of torture was finally over though she knew something worst is still to come.

"Better tell them, doctor." A nurse told her.

Taylor nodded and said in a soft voice, "I know." She pushed the door, setting aside every thought but one,

_I did my best... I tried._

It was unfair. What happened back there wasn't something anyone deserved. Taylor was wondering what she had done for fate to make her go through such emotional torture. Wasn't her anxiety enough?! There was no limit on what type of punishment life kept giving her. This time, the punishment is for her to watch as she break people with her words.

Her mind whirred back from a couple of minutes ago when she heard his cry.

She was relieved she heard that sound, it was an indication that he was alive. That echoed in her ears like a lovely song but as the faint heartbeat faded away, it turned into a tearful melody that made her feel the pain of the day she left Harry but a thousand times more painful than that.

Taylor exhaled and breathed hoarsely because she didn't while they were trying to save the baby. Her heart really slowed down and almost dropped.

She had very little energy left, she felt like she's going to faint. _How will I be able to do this?_

Now, she wanted to fade, now she wanted to disappear into thin air because she didn't know how to handle this. She still have one last thing to be strong for: facing them.

The time continued to fast forward.

She never thought it would be this way. It wasn't supposed to be like this, she could remember one split second of hearing a cry that echoed inside her ears not knowing, it was the last sound she would ever hear from him.

How could she have known, that the last cry was the last one she'll ever hear? It wasn't fair to anyone. She couldn't understand why this little angel visited life, flashed a smile and said goodbye seven minutes later. It's like he walked into a room, greeted everyone then disappeared without a single word and never heard of again.

Taylor going through this type of pain was hard enough, but the fact that she'll able to see how she isn't the only one affected burned her.

Her heart probably couldn't handle too much, she could barely hear it anymore. And she walked out of the room.

No, Taylor hadn't had a single idea how to break the news. She had a few reasons why, one, she felt like there was already something important from her that she lost, even though she was no way connected to this kid. Two, it's Harry's kid, it won't be easy to tell him. Three, if Harry loses something dear to him, God only knows. And four, she never ever lost a baby before, when she was a nurse, yes, she saw it happen and she was never the one to tell the relatives but as a doctor, it was the very first time. She had no idea what to do.

It isn't a matter of reputation anymore, it's the matter of how the life was lost under her control and pretty much she knew somehow, she'll end up taking the blame for it. Made her feel guilty already even if no one was pointing fingers at her.

The two elderly was talking to Niall, Lux was currently doing Alison's hair with Gemma talking to the both of them, and lastly, Harry was the one leaning against the wall near the door with his serious face.

Seven sets of eyes were all staring at her, seven different lives that are going to experience what she felt. They all waited for what she has to say, patiently. Every second seemed like years, Taylor was feeling the cold sweat trickle down her forehead.

Harry faced her, he stared at her, trying to get an answer out from her unreadable face. _It would crush him. It would tear him down... his own son..._

"Is--Is she--"

"She's okay." Taylor said softly, since the hallway was silent, the seven people waiting for her answer heard it clearly. Most of them released a sigh of relief though Gemma and Harry didn't.

Gemma squinted her eyes at Taylor as if she was doing something suspicious while Harry, he still hadn't moved an inch. "Th-That's good to hear." He replied. _For now... it isn't over yet._

_Taylor, not yet. It would kill him._

"What about the baby?" The old man -probably Liz's father asked. Everyone turned their heads to look at him, then back to Taylor. The old man raised his eyebrow at her, making her feel like he was doing it on purpose. The tension seemed to rise up again.

_They are going to know, one way or another._

Her eyes went down as she felt tears forming up. She tried, she still held it when her eyes found their ways to face the people waiting for her answer. None of them was breathing, they couldn't miss the answer.

"I'm sorry." Taylor said, it sounded do soft and weak, like a whimper but weaker. The elderly woman sobbed in her husband's arms, Gemma's eyes looked down and talked to Lux and Alison, Niall already stepped forward beside Harry... and Harry, his mind was distant. His eyes were in Taylor's direction but she knew she isn't seeing her.

Taylor knew how Harry felt, the heartbreak, the pain, the torture, everything but she also knew he's feeling it way harder. She understood what's happening just by reading his eyes. Harry's vision seemed to be blocked by dark clouds, he wouldn't see clearly, he wouldn't know what he's doing until he's snap out. But that's the thing, Taylor didn't know if he will snap out from it.

Everything he is feeling is rising up to his head, Taylor understood it. As much as she was on the brink of breaking down, he's had it worse and that told her to keep her feet locked in, her face calm, her position steady.

"I-I'm s-sorry... ," She trailed, looking for the words she should use to break the news slowly. "W-We did everything we could. A-And--"

Taylor didn't know what else to say. She felt like her words made it much worse so she stopped. The pain in his eyes was enough to crack her, enough to make her feel the way he is feeling, enough to make her think that it's all her fault. Her guilt rose up to her head though she still held every emotion inside her.

"Taylor, get away from here." Harry growled in his low, raspy voice. He was staring at her direction, but his face, his eyes they weren't focused on something, they were floating in the darkness he is seeing.

Niall said a few things, in attempts to calm him down. Because, he was turning into someone none of them wanted to see. His fists crumpled, and his body slightly shaking in anger.

Taylor took a step backward, fear coursing through her veins. She was terrified, she feared Harry and what he seemed he will do. She feared _this_ Harry, she always did. _Taylor, get out of there! Run away!_

"Harry calm down, not here." She whispered shakily even with the fear in her voice. "Please." She begged, then shifted her eyes to Alison, who was backing away. Taylor knew Alison was afraid too but she needed to prove Harry wasn't someone to be feared because Alison was starting to believe otherwise.

"Taylor... get... away." He said in-between his deep breaths.

Taylor didn't move a muscle. Niall was still saying things to Harry trying to talk senseless back to him. Do what he say, go!

_I can't._

It wasn't even five seconds later.

"TAYLOR, GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM HERE!" Harry yelled and his low voice echoed through the halls. He advanced forward with Niall holding him back. He was already crying, his voice cracking with every scream. His face reddened yet he still continues.

"Mate, no!"

"It's not her fault."

"You're not thinking straight!"

"Don't blame her."

"Harry---"

Taylor was stunned, her fear wanted her to run as far as possible but her pity and guilt made her stay where she stood. She was tearing up, it's a battle of emotions and state of mind, emotions win.

Niall pulled Harry away from Taylor, holding his arms from his back and struggled as he made his attempts to break free.

Taylor was backing away, ready to turn her feet and run at any moment when Gemma came in-between Taylor and Harry.

"Harry, shhh." She comforted then quickly turned to the stunned Taylor. "You should go.” Gemma whispered calmly.

Taylor didn't think twice and followed what Gemma said. She nodded and turned her back. She ran away, still hearing his distant cries and screams behind her.

She covered her ears like a helpless child, not wanting to hear any sound that came from that of the cruel world. She shut out every sound from the outside, but her footsteps, she still heard her heartbeat, her heavy breathing, her sobs and her thoughts flashing the memory of the baby's last cry, and Harry's yells.

_"TAYLOR, GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM HERE!"_

Why didn't she? Why didn't she just ran away before he yelled? Why didn't she just back away before everything else happened? Why didn't she just ask another nurse to say it for her?

She couldn't answer those questions she couldn't answer her own thoughts questioning her foolish decisions earlier. And earlier.

_Why didn't you just avoid them before you got to this situation?_

Taylor's eyes filled with tears that overflowed and ran down her cheeks, then down to the floor. She saw it coming, she knew she'd be blamed but she never knew it's something worse than her thoughts could come up with. She didn't mean for any of those to happen but somehow ended up taking the blame for it.

Passer-by’s turned their heads to look at the girl wearing white, crying a river, but then always turned their head and noses back to their businesses. Somehow, Taylor envied them because they don't have to go through how she is feeling and they probably never will go through it. They may have lost people close to them before but Taylor knew it's not like this, their situations are all different.

Taylor got pass the white halls, accidentally bumping into people a few times because of her blurry sight caused by her tears. Finally, she was there, she was in the most comforting place in the hospital.

She reached for her door and pushed it as she walked slowly in. She didn't bother turning the lights on and remained in the darkness. Taylor walked to behind her desk, near the shelf and sat in the corner, still thinking about where she had gone wrong, still thinking about why this have to happen... she thought that maybe her being the one to deliver the baby boy was for a good reason... she didn't realize it was an addition to her torture.

Taylor sat on the floor, keeping her knees near her chest while her arms were on them. Her hair snapped loose around her face as she leaned on her arms, letting her tears run out of her eyes. Why did it happen? Was her best not good enough? Why was she the only one that seemed to be of fault?

Nothing calmed Taylor, her thoughts were making it worse as she started blaming herself for it, muttering words about how she meant to do it one way or another but that's not true. She tried, didn't she?

Her mind was so messed up, Taylor isn't able to process anything anymore. She just wanted everything inside her to flow out through her tears, her thoughts, her feelings, everything... maybe then, she'll be able to think clearly.

A moment later, she heard a knock from the door. Taylor didn't answer, she was in no condition to talk to anyone properly while she's feeling like this. A ray of light sliced through her dark office and revealed a shadow she didn't bother looking back to.

"Taylor, I know you're in here." She heard a voice with the familiar accent, she presumed it was Gemma's. The voice was gentle and soft, Taylor couldn't be wrong about it. "Lux followed you here, she knows."

That's when Taylor wiped her eyes with her sleeves and stood up. Her hair was an absolute mess, her eyes were red and she looked paler than ever.

"Oh my goodness, Taylor--" To Taylor's surprise her eyes showed concern and so did her actions. Gemma wrapped her in a gentle embrace. Then after a while, she let go. Gemma smiled at her.

Taylor didn't smile back, she was confused and her eyes went down. Lux was there and she smiled at her too. "Hi, Auntie Tay!"

She was fascinated of how Lux still remembers her, despite the almost ten years of not seeing each other, but somehow something pushed that thought aside. She managed to flash a faint smile.

"I have a feeling we have a lot to talk about." Gemma said seriously but still in her sweet and gentle tone.

Still, Taylor's stare was blank... she was still preoccupied of the scenes that's flashing through her mind.

Gemma stayed with Taylor for almost two hours, so did Lux. She made Taylor forget every single thing about the evening and told her a lot of stories from twelve years ago. Lux also had a lot to say but she fell asleep on Taylor's other couch. It was still fine since it gave her a little more talking time with Gemma so they can discuss some more things.

"Aren't you wondering why she still knew you?" Gemma asked.

"I was going to ask about it." Taylor replied, her voice was still faint since everything was still fresh.

"When she was eight, about four years ago, she saw her old photos when she was with you and Harry. Remember the Central Park Zoo? Yes, and plenty more. So basically, whenever Alison comes over, she shows her cousin everything and just this Christmas, Harry and I caught them talking about you. Apparently, that's when Lux knew more." Gemma told her. She didn't know that there had to be a story like that.

"Does Harry mind?"

"With himself, no. With Liz, yes." _That's odd._

"Can I ask you one last thing?" Taylor asked. She tried asking Louis this question but he didn't know, she asked Harry and he didn't answer. She thought maybe Gemma knew.

Gemma nodded.

"Why was her name, A-Ali--"

"Alison? Beats me, little brother never told anyone." She answered. "It's still a mystery to us. Liz, I think she has no idea about it. Hazza doesn't fancy talking about a lot of things in his past, don't worry, okay? He's just messed up."

Taylor's eyes went down a little. "So am I." She's messed up, way way messed up than ever.

"Tay, come on." Gemma said calmly, "Haven't you heard enough from the loads of comforting statements I already pushed to you? The way I looked at you never changed, you're still that sweet girl we knew. Don't change that just because you think you made a mistake. You didn't, even if you did, you've made more good things than wrong ones."

 _Like her brother._ Taylor smiled slightly at the fact that most of their statements were about her not changing at all. It's amusing how much of you never stayed the same and yet most people would say you haven't changed.

"Thanks." Taylor said. She felt weird about Gemma being so caring when they aren't even related by anything. She averted her gaze to whatever her eyes landed on. She was pretty confused about it, her fingers won't stop fidgeting with each other and her eyes won't stop moving.

Gemma noticed that. "Taylor, do you feel odd about me being here?" She asked.

Taylor was slightly shocked by that question but she tried not to make it obvious. "Honestly..." she trailed, "yes. I don't see any reason why you have to be here." She said but her tone was rather shy.

"Oh. It's because my brother can have anyone behind him, at this moment, do you have anyone else?"

"No." She answered, honestly. _Well, except maybe Louis._

"You seem to be still confused about me being here, aren't you?" Gemma asked. Taylor hated how much she was a good person reader and she can't get pass anything.

"Yes." She muttered.

"Remember the day when you left Harry?" Gemma asked.

Taylor nodded, “How could I forget?” _How could I forget the day I tried to run away from everything in the past?! The past that came haunting me._

"Harry got ill for almost two weeks. He wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk to us, every night he'd just lie on his bed, staring at the sky. For almost a month, he was like a zombie, his body is moving and there with you but you know that his mind and soul aren't."

Taylor's eyes widened as her gaze landed back to Gemma. She wasn't kidding, everything Gemma said was true... Taylor felt a pang of guilt inside her stomach, making her feel dizzy. She gulped down and said, "I didn't know that."

"He made the lads swear that they wouldn't tell anyone, especially you. But me, being his sister, he didn't make me promise anything."

"Why didn't anybody tell me?" Taylor's voice went back to the normal volume as she felt tears forming in her eyes. She wished somebody told her, then maybe she would have come back, she would have been there because he needed her. But that's the thing, no one did and she wasn't there. "Why didn't anybody tell me that?" She asked, her voice quieter again.

"Taylor, would it have made a difference if someone did, back then?" Gemma asked.

Her eyes went down as tears fell down her cheeks. "Yes." She answered truthfully. It was ten years ago, but something is making Taylor wish that she could take it all back. _Wait, am I really?_

Gemma gasped, "Tay-Taylor...d-do you still love---" _not that word._

"No." Taylor answered before the question was even finished. "I-I can't love Harry anymore."

_Even if I could, he won't love me back. He has a family, he's got a wonderful wife and a lovely daughter. It’s impossible_

Gemma smiled, her eyes sparkled as she said, "Taylor, you know, for a second there I thought you still are. Because one moment, just one moment, if you don't feel the same way for Harry like you used to, why would you wish for someone to tell you what happened back then? We both know that if you did come back, we won't be where we are now."

 _No_ , _it's impossible. I can't still be---_ Taylor's mouth was slightly open as she couldn't respond... what else could she say?

"Only a thought though, don't let my thoughts bother you. I suppose you're fine with your life... I mean, that life before all of us came back." Gemma said, snapping Taylor out from the moment of blankness.

"Y-Yeah. It was fine..." a thought occurred to Taylor, "Thanks, Gemma. F-For everything."

"You're still my sister. Don't mention it."

"Can I please ask you a favor?" Taylor asked.

"Sure."

"If we're done with this conversation, can you please check up with Liz? A lot of cases like this occur and most of the women--"

"Oh." Gemma said, "I get it. Thanks."

_It's the least I could do now._

–

Taylor thought about everything Gemma said. It's probably what Louis is thinking of too, only Gemma had the sanest courage to say that to her. She isn't in love with Harry anymore, that can't be. Still, she can't imagine how no one ever told her what Harry has been through. She always cut him some slack but right now, her patience for whatever he wants to do increased. Maybe it's the guilt, maybe it's something else, either way, it's because of that, she understood how he acted around her.

Taylor sat alone outside, staring at her car across the parking lot. Snow fell on top of her head like sprinkles of sugar on a cupcake. She was slightly shivering because of the cold, she kept her coat around her as she calmly drifted to her thoughts while staring at the snowy scene in front of her.

She just stared at the wide open space while the sun is coming up. She felt an old feeling coming up, she was fascinated all of a sudden with everything her eyes can reach. It's like seeing the world from another angle... though she was certain it was just her way of coping up with what she just experienced. Give or take a few days, she'll probably be back to normal... at least that's what she is hoping for.

It isn't something she should spend the rest of her life mourning and blaming herself but it isn't something she could forget about either. The baby boy was still his son, a part of the man she once loved and cared for.

_Once. That was the perfect word for it. Once, back then and not now, not anymore._

"Oh God." Taylor said to herself. "I'm so messed up."

Taylor saw a dark shadow cover her view. "I'm messed up way worse than you are now, trust me." Louis said as he sat next to her.

"Do you even know?" She asked, her eyebrow raised. A part of her didn't want to ask at all because knowing Louis, the word got to him faster than she ran to her office earlier.

"Yes." He answered. "Figured you could use some good ol' cheering up. Kinda needed it myself."

"Why?" Taylor asked.

"Something 'bout my dad, and Dani. Tell you everything, later. Come. I'll take you home." Louis said and grabbed Taylor's hand.

Taylor was blankly following Louis, her face didn't hold any expression as though her eyes are seeing something from another world, in which case, she's currently not in this one.

Halfway towards his car, Louis spun and gave wrapped Taylor in an embrace. Taylor felt his warmth through the cold weather and their thick coats. Even for the few seconds, Taylor felt the comfort Louis had been giving her for years.

"You needed it so badly." Louis said and dusted the snow of her hair. "Do you feel better, now?"

Taylor smiled, the realest smile she mustered since last night. She giggled, "You're the best."

"Only in a few things. Come on."

Taylor and Louis went to her apartment and just talked. Turns out both of them are in a hell of bloody situation.

Louis saw his dad –his real dad who left him when he was two years old. Louis was still holding the grudge, because his mom was forced to work and raise him alone. Taylor understood completely why and she intently listened to every word.

"I don't know. I can't help not to, because now all of a sudden he comes back expecting a warm welcome, where had he been for the past years? I never knew him, if he didn't say a thing, I'd pass him off as some stranger." Louis said, leaning on Taylor's couch as he was sitting on the floor. Taylor was sitting beside him, playing with Meredith who was sitting on her lap.

"Have you ever thought about--" Taylor trailed as she was watching Louis' reaction. "--giving him a chance?"

"It occurred but if it were to happen, it's not now or sometime near."

"Why not?"

"Because things with Dani had just became rough. We couldn't agree on one thing anymore. I can't handle two situations at once, that'll drive the paperclips out of me."

"The what?" Taylor asked about Louis' odd choice of words. She couldn't really decide whether it's a Brit-English thing or a Louis thing.

"That'll drive me nuts." He said. "I needed a break. Danielle too, she needed that."

"Don't make it too long though, breaks either leads to breaking down, or breaking up, either way, it tears you." Taylor said, judging from personal experience, it was both. Cooling off wasn't exactly the best option but Taylor knew Louis and Dani can handle that.

"Yeah, guess so."

There was a moment of calm silence, Taylor played with Meredith's fur.

"You're strong, you know that?" Louis said.

"No, I'm not."

"You've handled the Hulk Harry, whispered to calm him down, right after his son died, you've handled the death of his son too, and all of these happened right before your eyes, I would have been out of my mind if I faced Harry in his enraged form. That takes me and the rest of the lads." Louis said.

Taylor shook her head, "I'll be out of my mind if it weren't for Gemma and you."

Louis seemed shocked by that statement. "That's the part I didn't know, you've talked to Gemma?"

"Yes." She answered. "She told me about Harry through all the years, and especially the time after I left him. Why didn't you say anything to me?"

Louis swore under his breath, making Taylor roll her eyes. She was desperate for the answer. "Harry made us promise not to."

"I know that part but why did you keep it from me? "

Louis bowed his head and looked at his hands. "You'd come back if we did, wouldn't you?" He asked softly.

 _As much as I hate to admit it,_ "Of course I would!" Taylor said. "I don't care if we're off but I know I'd do it for him anytime. How can a person go two weeks without eating or sleeping? I would have--"

"Died?" Louis intervened and looked up at Taylor. "Exactly! Now Taylor imagine that, if you came back for him ten years ago, eventually you'll leave, right?"

"Yeah b-"

"That's what Harry was afraid of. You leaving him twice. That lad wouldn't even reach his life expectancy if he loses you twice. Then you, would you live with the guilt?"

"N-No b--"

"He chose it for you, to live your life, to set you free. Yes, I haven't had a chance to tell you any of this, now boom, you have the answers."

Taylor hated why it took him so long to tell her that. She always understood why Harry acts that way around her, what she didn't understand was why that harsh no matter how she tried. Now she does.

"Thanks, everything is crystal now. I almost ruined his life." Taylor mumbled.

"Not exactly, if you haven't really left him, he wouldn't have Alison now would he?"

"Yeah, Alison. His one and only daughter who is now terrified of him." Taylor said. "I pity the kid."

"Why? Is there something I should know?" Louis asked.

"Nothing." She said, clearly denying and regretting what she just said but it was true. She pities Alison because of what she had been going through in the times she would call Taylor and just talk about how she's scared. Especially now, her brother just died. Now everything would be much harder for her. _If they'd give me a chance, I'll take care of her while they were coping up but that's unlikely to happen._

Louis looked at her with his pleading sea-green eyes. It's as though he as trying to make her spill.

"I hate you so much... Okay, I'll tell you." And just like that, Taylor told Louis everything she knew about what Alison is going through. It took her a while to explain everything but he understood eventually.

Then after, her apartment is filled with silence.

"You should get some sleep, now." Louis said, snapping her out from her thoughts.

"Do I look like a vampire to you?" Taylor asked sarcastically.

"Yes, now off to your coffin!" Louis yelled, almost literally waking Taylor up in her almost-sleepy state. He pushed Taylor to her bedroom.

"Sleep." He ordered.

"Yeah, yeah sure." Taylor mumbled and lied on her bed. It was just as Louis was walking out her door.

Before he was able to close the door, Taylor called him. "Hey."

He poked his head through the door with a smile then asked, "What?"

"Stay safe, okay?"

"Sure will. Bye, White Queen."

"See ya around, Lou."

And that's when the door closed and Taylor drifted to a peaceful sleep.

*** * * * *  
* * * * ***

Taylor's predictions were true. She wished she wasn't right about it but unfortunately, she was.

It wasn't a week after Liz was released from the hospital and went home, Taylor got the news that she went fruit loops – which was one of the worst ways to say she had gone insane. Taylor knew it was one of the usual cases whenever "losing a child" occurs and most of them are temporary. She can get through it. The bad thing is, Harry too is seem to be going through that phase. It's not exactly gonna help the case.

Louis told Taylor all about it. He told her about how Alison was currently being cared of by Gemma. Gemma stayed because they still had to handle the baby boy's funeral and his name was _Harold Styles Jr._ –which was, in Taylor's opinion, was the simplest name they could have given him but she instantly pushed off the thought because she once thought about that name when she was holding him. Now, it's just a simple "don't-go" subject.

Everything was back to normal for Taylor but for the Styles, it sure wasn't. It wasn't Taylor's problem at all, that was the only good part of it. And so far, her life is still going smoothly.

It's a fine Thursday afternoon, Eleanor decided to break her schedule off and visit Taylor and somehow, Taylor felt like someone is ticking El off because she always seems to come or call whenever something good is going on.

"Wait, what? I've been gone over the holidays and I come back to this? I missed a lot! Tell me more!" El said excitedly. Considering Taylor just gave her the "filler" pieces of the wonder puzzle, she'd eventually ask for more.

Taylor told her everything except the facts about Alison. And as they reached the end of the story, El's jaw dropped.

"Wow." El said, she did look like it was all she could say at the moment too.

"Yes. I am a total dreck at the moment but so far, I haven't lost my mind like they did." Taylor said and sunk on her bed, her head filling with so much thoughts of sarcasm she felt a bit guilty. She couldn't stop things from happening even if she wanted to, there's nothing she could do but throw these sarcastic thoughts away every moment she gets. What happened back then was a mistake, but she can't let that haunt her for the rest of her life... so here she is.

"Not a total dreck though. In which case, aren't you going to attend the boy's funeral?" El asked, probably the worst question she could ask right now.

Taylor rolled her eyes as she counted the reasons why she shouldn't. "One, I'm not invited. Two, that baby boy have no relation to me, whatsoever. Three, Harry was already planning to kill me when I broke the news with him, attending the ceremony, he would probably bury me in the cemetery so no, thank you. Four--"

El laughed out loud, "Ha! Tay, with that kind of thinking, I wouldn't wonder why. Go on." She intervened but still said and gestured for her to go on.

"Four, I'm already missing it as we speak." Taylor said then sat up, her face was a normal yet teasing face.

"You what?!" El yelled at her. "What the hell?!"

She rolled her eyes. "I already told you the reasons why I don't want to. So, here you go. Don't force me to go somewhere I don't really want to."

"I'm not forcing you. I'm not that insensitive, you know." El said. "But seriously, you really had made some sort of connection with the child, didn't you?"

"Course."

"Don't worry. You'll probably see him one day." El said.

"I'm sorry, how?"

"Afterlife maybe?"

Taylor raised her eyebrow again, "Are you wishing for my early death?"

"Course not. Anyways this---"

Taylor's phone rang. She reached for it and there flashed Louis Tomlinson's name. She answered it, after giving El a smirk.

"Yes, Tommo?" Taylor said and watched El's facial expression shift from the smiling one to the 'open mouthed' one. She giggled at El's face.

"Why aren't you here?" Louis asked.

 _Why would he expect me to be?!_ "Are you--"

"Nevermind that." Louis said. "Something has come up, and I really badly need to talk to you. Meet me at my place, an hour from now." He added, seriously.

"Wow, it sounds so urgent. What's going on?" Taylor asked.

"Just meet me up at my house. Please." Louis pleaded this time which meant he was pretty serious about it.

"Okay, okay. But you better not be messing with me."

"Honestly, my suit and tie right now is telling you that I am not messing with you. Bye."

Something occurred to Taylor. "Oh w-w-w-w-w-wait. Wait, wait, wait."

"What?" Louis asked.

"Your address... text it to me."

"Sure. Bye."

Then Taylor faced El.

"What was that about?" El asked.

Taylor's nose crinkled as she had no idea. Louis was serious about something though and she's going to meet him up to know all about it.

"I don't really know." She answered and put her phone on her drawer. "He just wanted to talk but it sounded pretty serious."

"Louis Tomlinson... serious? When did that ever happen?" El asked, her voice filling with sarcasm.

Taylor groaned because she didn't actually like that kind of tone being used while they talk about Louis. "He was serious with you, so it happened for like four straight years. He's now serious with Dani too."

_Burn._

"Tay if you must know, I was joking. Just in case you're offended." El looked at her apologetically.

Taylor laughed to ease up the mood. "I was joking too. But you gotta admit, that was a good comeback."

"Hell of a good comeback." El said. "So what are you gonna do?"

"First step is going to Louis' house."

–

 _I'd say it's pretty average._ Taylor took a moment to look at Louis' house. To think that it was he who bought this house on his own, he did a pretty good job.

The door opened up before she was able to knock for the fourth time. By his actions, Louis seemed desperate for Taylor to be here. Louis' face was sweaty and he didn't seem like his usual 'cool' self. He was wearing his polo, with his tie halfway removed, his hear slightly wet and messy. _What happened to him?!_

 _Something is just not right._ "I'm guessing you're really serious." Taylor remarked.

"Glad you could come." Louis said and opened the door widely. He gestured for Taylor to come inside, which she did.

Louis was breathing rather roughly. "Can you cool off for one second, just one second." Taylor ordered and led him to the couch. She didn't know her way around the house but she had a good hunch to where the kitchen was. She grabbed a glass of water and quickly gave it to Louis.

"Okay, can you please tell me what you're stressing about?" Taylor asked as she sat beside him.

He took a really deep breath and quickly said, "Gemma is asking me a favor because she can't stay here in New York for long that no one can ever look for Alison and both her parents are currently unstable."

 _Now, I'm confused._ Taylor blinked more than a couple times in a very quick pace. "L-Let's just say I didn't understand a thing because of how quick you said that in your posh accent."

He took another deep breath, slowly this time, he said, "Gemma is asking me to take care of Alison. And I told her I can't then she suggested that maybe my girlfriend could help out but you know how me and Dani are now, we can't. So I was thinking maybe you could help out. You know I can't raise a kid alone, no matter how temporary."

 _No. No way._ "How do you suppose I could so that?!" Taylor asked.

"You're a bloody pedia and ob-- how do you pronounce that? Never mind, just help me out. Gemma is coming over for the final talk, about" Louis said and buried his face on his palms.

Taylor patted his back. "I can't make that decision right now." She admitted. It's just a pretty complicated move. Considering none of the parents trust her with anything. She can't say 'no' straight up to Louis just because she didn't like the complicated idea of helping him take care of Alison so she knew she had to have a clear talk with Gemma. "I'll wait for Gemma to come around. Then, I'll decide."

"Thanks." Louis sighed.

It didn't take long before Gemma came. The place was once again, quiet and crept with awkwardness. They all sat in the living room, Gemma in front of the two, only separated with a mini glass table.

"I bet Louis already told you." Gemma said, breaking the silence, pulling both Taylor and Louis back to Earth. Both of them seemed to be very distant earlier.

"Uhh yeah, he did." Taylor replied, her voice soft again like she was a scared kitten facing a lioness.

"Do you two really want me to beg? I can't find anyone else, or trust anyone else, if that matters. Niall can't because he's a busy nut, the two of you are the only options who care enough about Alison." Gemma said, her voice was almost pleading Taylor was afraid she'd give in to that.

Still, Taylor let her skeptical and rational side prevail. "What about Liz's parents? Don't they live in the city?" She asked.

Gemma looked at her in a slightly disappointed face which, Taylor was rather uncomfortable of. "Again, my words were 'or trust anyone else'." She said.

"So are you implying that you don't trust Liz's parents?" Louis asked, finally entering the conversation. His expressions were the same as Taylor's and both of them looked like they didn't want to agree at all.

"I never liked them. And yes, I don't because they already live with a couple of their grandchildren and favoritism is one of their main cons. I remember the look on their face when they looked at you, Taylor--"

Taylor must have had a ghost train hit her right in the face because then, her attention was only on Gemma, no thoughts flew out.

"-- they looked back and forth between Alison and you. You could already see the judgment in their faces. So please, it's only for a couple of weeks until either Liz or Harry gets better."

Gemma waited for the two to answer. Actually, Taylor didn't want to answer because she'll end up disappointing Gemma with her choice. _It's a no... nope. . no way. . heavens no._

"I-I'm sorry, I understand the situation and all, but I can't." Taylor answered, she could already see the crestfallen face of the beautiful Gemma Styles.

It's not that she didn't want to take care of Alison, it's about the questions that ran up her head. _What if Harry find out after snapping back?! He'll_ _kill me this time!_

"I'm really sorry, I can't." Taylor said.

Louis looked at her like he wanted to say the same thing only, he didn't want to disappoint Gemma. "I agree but I really can't raise a kid all alone, I'm not that sort of parent material and Alison is a girl so..." he looked at Taylor, now he wanted her to agree.

Taylor scoffed, "Look, I don't want to. I can't! I can't do that. I'm sorry." She looked at them apologetically then got up on her feet. "I'm sorry, I can't. I gotta go."

She really had nowhere to go but she thought it was better than being here. She didn't want to. It should be fun to be able to spend time with Alison but she was scared of what will happen afterwards. Yes, everything from the past is almost making her a coward and very terrified of Harry. Taylor was so afraid about things happening, she didn't want to get involved anymore.

Louis followed her outside, and she knew that so she walked faster. Apparently, it was easy for him to catch up.

"Taylor!" He called.

Taylor pressed the button to unlock her car when she was a few meters away. "I don't want to hear it, Lou."

She grabbed a hold of the car door while Louis pushed it.

"Don't try to convince me." Taylor said.

Louis looked at her, his eyes sincere. "I have to. Please, do it for Alison."

"I've already done enough, Lou. And please, don't talk like you wanted to." She replied and pulled the car door again.

He was just stronger to push it back closed. "I know I didn't but now I do, because it's to help out my best mate. You, why didn't you want to?"

Taylor got a bit mad and pushed Louis. She went inside the car, and he still opened the car door.

"Taylor, please. If you're afraid of how Harry will react, don't. In fact, you're doing him a good favor. Just please." Louis pleaded and Taylor was melting because of his sea-green eyes.

Taylor closed the door and finally, Louis finally let her. She backed out the car until it was on the street and sped. 

_I can't do this anymore, I can't. I gotta escape before it turns into a worse situation..._

But then she thought,

_What could be any worse than this?_

Taylor sped her car faster. She just wanted her engine roars to snap her out from her thoughts. One way or another, she's going to end up choosing on something she would regret someday.

Then she slowed down and pulled her car up at the side of the road. "What the hell? I'm getting myself into another torture." She mumbled to herself then turned the car around.


End file.
